Blood and Snow
by MiMiMargot
Summary: Charles falls on love with a mystery girl, and after that nothing is simple. Story includes hot guys and broken hearts, dark secrets and obsession. Lots of chit chat and issues of the heart. (Post "The Days of Future Past", but pre "The Apocalypse") Please review!
1. A guy meets a girl

\- I'm sorry, you seem familiar. Have we met?

Charles Xavier eyed the young waitress who was waiting for their orders. He felt somewhat uneasy. There was something about her, something that caught his eye, more than just her good looks.

\- I doubt it, I think I would remember meeting Professor Xavier.

\- So you know who I am? He smiled, though still confused.

\- Everybody knows who you are, Professor Xavier.

\- Well, not everybody, he noted. And please, call me Charles.

She smiled, but the smile did not meet her eyes. The look on her face was sad and stubborn at the same time, which he found disturbing as her lips were smiling.

\- And your name would be…?

She pointed silently her nametag, which said Alice.

\- Alice, He said and nodded. Alice…?

\- Just Alice, Professor Xavier.

\- Charles.

\- Yes, Professor.

He cleared his throat, suddenly very aware that his companion had been silent all this time. Hank McCoy was looking at him, trying to hide his smile, which annoyed Charles more than it should have.

\- I'm sorry Alice. What could you recommend us today?

\- To you, professor? A coffee, black and no sugar. And perhaps a peach pie, freshly made?

\- That sounds about perfect, thank you Alice.

He didn't look away from the mystery girl, while his friend ordered. He could feel her thoughts working, as if they were light winds, small movements of air, as she took the order and put the notebook in the pocket of her apron. Carefully he tried to push his thoughts to hers, but was immediately blocked by a strong, unseen wall.

\- When Alice left them, he turned to face Hank, who was smirking.

\- So, what was that all about, Charles?

\- It's not what you think, Hank, he shook his head. She is one of us.

\- A mutant? .

\- Yes.

\- How come you did not know she was here? Asked Hank. We searched the nearby areas with Cerebro when we were recruiting.

\- There are only two options. One: she was not here then, or two, she was hiding.

\- How could she hide from Cerebro?

Charles sighed. He didn't know if it was wise to have this conversation, but the uneasy feeling he had had since he'd first seen Alice, hadn't left him. He didn't like things he could not control.

\- She was blocking me just there. She could have blocked Cerebro.

\- Block Cerebro? Asked Hank. I did not know that was possible.

\- Neither did I, admitted Charles.

And just there he noticed, that Alice had silently appeared by their table, holding a tray with three cups of coffee.

\- Here is your coffee, Professor, she said as she placed the cup in front of him.

\- He could feel the smell of her dark curls, the aroma of her skin in the air, and it made his heart jump.

\- Thank you Alice.

Her forest green eyes met his, and there was not a hint of smile in them. In the matter of fact, there was something else, something dark and fearful. Quickly she looked down, as if to hide her mood from him.

\- You're welcome, Professor, she said very quietly.

\- Just Charles, please.

\- Professor, Xavier. And please, do try to keep out of my mind for now, will you? I'm not the kind of girl you can try to intrude that way.

She said it just like that, not an insult, not a flirt. Just a fact, to put them on the same level. He found he was suddenly out of words, as she walked away. He took his coffee and sipped it, finding it very hot - and just the way he liked it.

\- So, I think we can agree on the fact that she was hiding, said Hank and raised an eybrow.

Charles came back to the small coffee shop the next day, and the day after that. And two times the following week. He convinced himself that he was just trying to find out Alice's hidden talent, the type of her mutation, but deep down he knew that there were other reasons as well. He wanted to get to know her, and thinking about her, waiting to see her again, kept him awake at night.

He had tried to give her his phone number the second time he saw her, but she had politely declined, saying

\- Professor, I think we both know you don't need to wait for my phone call to contact me.

\- But you didn't answer the last time I tried to reach you, he had said.

\- Then what are the odds I would call you, even if I took your number, Professor?

Amazingly, Charles was not discouraged. And so he kept coming back. Ordered whatever Alice recommended, always to find out it miraculously was just the thing he had craved for, and always to find out nothing had changed. After a month he still didn't even know her last name, and everything about her was a mystery to him. A strange and annoying feeling for a telepath.

And after a month, he had stopped lying to himself about the reasons for his frequent visits. He had fell for her, strangely and completely, in a way he had not felt in a long, long time.

Alice was trying to clean the coffee machine. It was the quiet moment between lunchtime and dinnertime, and there were only a couple of customers in the coffeehouse. The cleaning was a simple task, but she found it hard to concentrate. She felt that she was being looked at, like she could actually feel Xavier's gaze moving on her skin.

It was an unnerving feeling, but not as negative as she tried to convince herself. In matter of fact, it was arousing, and she bet he knew it.

\- He's looking at you again, noted Leonore.

The blonde girl was smirking knowingly, which annoyed Alice.

\- More likely stalking.

\- Oh, come on, he's not that bad! You remember Stinky-Arnold, who stalked me for months?

\- True, Stinky-Arnold was worse. But still, I've told Xavier I'm not interested.

\- Why not? Leonore glanced the man, sitting at his table, sipping his coffee, now looking at his newspaper and not them. - He's kinda cute. How can you resist those bedroom eyes…? I bet he's a beast in bed.

Alice glanced at Xavier too. He looked up to meet her eyes, and oh yes, they were dreamy. Sky blue, mysterious, and the look in them told her Leonore was right. Alice also noticed that he was eavesdropping, an annoying thing he did too often. She mentally pushed him away, and he winced.

\- A beast in bed, huh, Alice noted bitterly. He's in a wheelchair.

\- So what? Leonore smiled with a naughty laugh. - I've heard that paralyzed men can perform just fine, at least some of them. And they might even last longer! Besides, he has the look of a man, who can compensate leg function with other skills. Just look at those delicate fingers…

\- I don't care if he has the fingers of a God, Alice snapped. I'm still not going to go out with him. To you everything is about sex!

\- And to you nothing is about it.

\- That's not true. I'm just not ready to start dating. Besides, I think he can hear us.

Alice looked at Xavier, who was seemingly reading his paper, but she heard him laughing in her mind. He looked up, and signaled them, looking innocent as if he hadn't heard a thing.

\- He can't hear us, Alice. You're being paranoid, he just want's the check. You want me to go?

\- If you'd please.

Leonore walked briskly to Charles, who gave her a pleasant smile. He was a handsome man, not in an obvious way, but there was something almost too pretty in those deep blue eyes, those expressive brows, those red, soft lips and pale skin. His light brown hair was wavy and fell almost to his shoulders in a carefree way, that made Leonore hope she could run her fingers through them. He looked like an english lord from Leonore's romance novels.

Too bad he wasn't interested in her, she thought. She'd have no problem going out with him, and more.

\- Hello, Professor. What can I get for you?

\- Alice's number? Xavier looked up to her, folding his newspaper.

She gave a small laugh.

\- Sorry, professor, it's not your lucky day.

\- Then just a refill for my coffee and the check, please.

\- Sure, that'd be 5,50.

He took a bill of ten dollars from his wallet, and gave it to her.

\- Keep the change, Leonore.

Another great thing about Xavier, he always gave generous tips. It was obvious he was wealthy as well as handsome. What on earth was the matter with Alice?

\- Oh, and would you mind giving this to your friend, he added, handing her a small piece of paper.

\- Sure, professor, she smiled and took the note.

\- Sending you secret notes? Leonore was smirking, when Alice opened the slip. I do hope it is a love letter. Is it?

Alice didn't answer, just breath out slowly. The note said:

"Dearest Alice,

You are looking exceptionally beautiful today.

It would be my honor to take you out for a dinner.

Please, give me a call,

Yours sincerely, Charles Xavier."

\- Again! Leonore laughed. I bet he'd take you to a Michelin Star restaurant if you asked.

\- Well, I'm not asking. Alice put the note to the pocket of her apron.

She bent down to write something on a paper napkin, against the counter.

" Dearest Professor Xavier,

You are a creepy stalker, and a self centered little prick.

Please, leave me be.

Yours truly, Alice"

\- Would you mind taking this to him, Leonore? She handed the note to her friend.

\- Really? Isn't that a bit too much?

\- Oh, really. Let's see if he still decides to come back after this.

But he came back. And the next time he sent a note saying:

" Dearest Alice,

It would be an immense pleasure if you dined with me tonight.

Should I pick you up after work?

Yours, Charles Xavier."

With a long sigh she read his note before folding it to the pocket of her apron. He was not giving up easily. Even now he was looking at her with those "bed-me-eyes", which made her heart feel like a humming bird inside the cage of her chest, and she couldn't help blushing. Why could he not just leave her be? Alice was almost angry, as she bent down to write an answer. Why did he keep coming back? Was it so difficult for him to accept that there was a woman whose mind he couldn't read, so he had to try any means necessary to tear her apart for information?

" Professor Xavier,

It would be my pleasure, if you'd fuck off.

With best regards, Alice the Waitress"

\- I'm not going to take that note to him, Leonore protested.

\- Just as well, I'll take it to him myself.

And so she did, placed it boldly in front of him with the check, looking at him in the eye the whole time. But taking his money was difficult, as even if they did not touch, she could feel the warmth of his hand as he gave her the bill. And he had smile in his eyes, the same smile that played on his lips, so kissable she almost gasped.

Her knees felt weak when she walked away from him.

She'd really have to find a way to stop him from coming back. And fast. Who knew what would happen, if she could not stop this? A cold fear settled in her abdomen, a familiar dread she had cradled for more than a decade. She should listen to it, she knew. Bad things happened when she didn't.

That night in bed Alice stayed awake for a long time, working up a plan


	2. And then they have issues

"I have a problem that I cannot explain,

I have no reason why it should have been so plain,

Have no questions but I sure have excuse,

I lack the reason why I should be so confused,

I know, how I feel when I'm around you,

I don't know, how I feel when I'm around you,

Around you."

-System of a Down

* * *

This time is going to be no different, Charles thought, as he entered Alice's workplace. She's gonna turn me down, for sure.

It had begun to feel almost like a game. Him asking for her to go out with him, and her telling him to sod off, in oh so many ways. It would have been dishearting, had he not been almost certain that she wanted him too.

It was the small glances she gave toward him, when she thought he wasn't looking. The way she blushed, when their hands almost touched. The flirtatious way she wrote her answers to his messages. It was difficult not being able to read her mind, but it also made him curious. In all his adulthood he had never had to guess how a girl was feeling about him, and the novelty of the situation intrigued him.

He saw her from the door, her delicate, elegant form, her suntouched skin and the flock of freckles on her nose and cheeks. The dark brown curls of her hair that came down to her shoulders like a waterfall.

He had this uneasy, excited feeling that made his heart beat a little faster, and suddenly he was painfully aware of his wheelchair. If I could just walk to her, he thought, just like any other brilliant, handsome, super intelligent telepath on this planet Earth. If only I didn't have this damn chair.

As soon as the thought had formed in his mind, he knew in her eyes that she had been eavesdropping. Or Thoughtsdropping? He really had to invent a word for that.

\- It's not about the chair, Professor, Alice said as he was closer.

\- Then what is it? He asked

\- It is the 12th time you come here in one month, Charles Xavier, she said changing the subject. - People are beginning to talk.

\- And what do they say?

Alice didn't answer. She turned to face the other waitress, and asked smiling,

\- Leonore, honey, would you mind covering up for me for a while? I'll be back in two minutes.

\- Sure thing, Alice. Just take your time, the other girl answered and winked knowingly. But her smile died as Alice gave her a chilling gaze, and without asking if it was ok to him, she stepped outside and waited for Charles to follow.

\- So, what do they say, Alice, Charles asked as they had walked silently for about a minute. Or she had walked, and he had wheeled his chair by her.

\- You know, stuff, she shrugged.

\- What things?

\- That there is a reason you come here so often, she stopped and turned to look him in the eye.

\- There is. But you just won't take my number or give me yours.

\- The other reason, Charles, she pressed.

This was the first time she had called him by his first name, and suddenly it made the moment intimate. He looked deep into her forest green eyes, and understood. Her worry cut his flirt away. It really was not a secret that he was a mutant, but he had tried to keep a low profile, fo he felt that his school didn't need any extra attention. Apparently, Alice didn't want that kind of attention either.

\- I'm sorry if I have caused you trouble, he said silently.

\- They have begun to wonder how I always know what people want to order. It used to be this funny trick, but not anymore. They don't need to be genius to figure this out.

\- Are you alright? he asked.

\- I know they have guessed it. That I am one of you guys. A freak. They look at me when they think I don't notice. And suddenly stop talking, when I enter the room. I'm not an idiot. I don't have to take a look at their thoughts to know what they feel about me now.

\- I am sorry, Alice, Charles said silently, and he really was. This is not what I meant to happen.

\- You say that now, but did you stop to think about this before? You shouldn't have come so often. You shouldn't have taken an interest on me, Charles.

\- But I did, and for that I am not sorry.

She stayed silent for a few heartbeats, her posture stiff and angry, her pouty lips pressed tight together. He sensed that there was something she was not telling him, but his instinctive try to take a peek at her thoughts, was blocked instantly.

\- I am not good news, Charles. You should just leave and never come back.

\- And if I don't?

\- Then I'll probably lose my job, she said, turning away. The manager told me yesterday to 'try to be normal' and that 'this place doesn't need any kind of special attention.'

He felt angered by her words. Angered that someone would threaten Alice like that, and more so that it had happened because of him. He was still searching for words, as she begun to talk again.

\- So Charles, you understand now, it never was about the chair.

\- You won't go out with me, because I am a mutant? But so are you, Alice. So are you. It should not be a reason to be ashamed, afraid or hiding.

\- It's not because _you_ are a mutant, she snapped, her face blushed with anger. It is because _I_ don't want to be.

He felt almost angered by her words. How could she say that? In his eyes, she was perfection. Her mutation was only one beautiful part of her, and the thought of her being ashamed of it, made him feel pity for her. He raised his hand to take hers, but she stepped further away from him and crossed her arms on her chest.

\- You can't change what you are, Alice. Charles said, letting his hand fall back to his lap. You should try and accept it, embrace it. That is the only way you will be happy.

\- You know nothing about my life, and you dare to give me advice, Alice snapped. There was a storm in her eyes, and dread he had never seen in them before. I might be one of you, but I don't have to make my life about being a mutant. I want nothing to do with that! I want nothing to do with all those things that were on TV. I don't want a stupid helmet or a pathetic nickname. I want a normal life, I want everything to stay the way it is, and you are not helping.

\- I am not asking you to change your life for me. Nobody is asking you to quit your job and become a superhero, Alice. I am only asking for a date.

\- My life has already changed because of you, Charles, she whispered, and in her voice was so much sadness, that it cut through his heart like a spear.

\- Then let me help you. Let us go and have dinner, and just talk. No hidden agendas, no talking about mutations, just two ordinary people on a date.

\- I can't, Charles. Please, don't come back. I might be a mutant, she shrugged, but I still have to pay the rent. We are not all born with money, Professor.

And with that she left him, alone in the street, sitting in his chair, feeling crippled and humiliated in more ways than he had ever felt.


	3. Perseverance

_"Look, if you had, one shot, or one opportunity_

 _To seize everything you ever wanted. In one moment_

 _Would you capture it, or just let it slip?"_

 _-Eminem_

* * *

This time he managed not to go to the cafeteria for a full week. But Alice had not left his thoughts. His mind wandered in her, in her mysterious green eyes, the serious lips, her delicate form. And he yearned to touch her, more than he remembered ever wanting to touch someone before.

And so, there he was again. In his chair, on the sidewalk in front of the small coffeehouse. The neon signs advertised hot coffee, milkshakes and much more, and he could hear the noise of people chatting and their thoughts buzzing like a beehive. He shook his head to quit the voices, and wondered once more how on earth could Alice work in a place like that. She had said, that she needed to pay the rent, but this hardly was the ideal place for a telepath.

He opened the door, and with some difficulty begun to enter the coffee shop, until a friendly bypasser opened the door for him and helped to push his wheelchair inside. Oh, how he sometimes hated the chair! The things he would give to be able to walk again.

As soon, as he entered, he saw her standing by the counter.

She was so beautiful, that it took his breath away.

Her petite form was Audrey Hepburn like, her waist tiny, her shoulders delicate and her neck beautifully shaped, tall and proud. Her face was slightly heart shaped, with high cheekbones, and dark eyebrows that arched like wings. But the thing that he most like about her looks, were her eyes. They were dark forest green, with shades of lighter green and brown. They looked like a forest on the spring, with sunlight gilding the leaves, painting them with all its different shades. Even if he could not read her mind, Charles found that her eyes were the way to read her moods, and he longed to look deep in them.

But now her eyes were storming. Alice's angry gaze met his eyes as soon as he entered the room, but he didn't give her time to snap at him.

\- Everybody take a break, he shouted and waved his hand.

At his command every person in the room stopped, their mouths hanging open in the middle of the sentence, a cup of coffee in their hand, all the smiling, flirting, arguing, it all freezed.

Alice looked at him as if he had killed someone.

\- What did you do, Charles?

It's alright, Alice. They won't even remember I was here.

\- It's not alright, she snapped and there was rage in her eyes. - Turn them back!

He sighed and silently ignored her plea.

\- Go out with me, Alice.

\- Don't try to change the subject, you self centered little-

\- All right, all right! You said there was trouble because I kept coming here. I fixed that problem: now nobody knows I am here. They will be fine the moment I leave the door.

\- You promise? She asked, still sounding annoyed.

\- I promise, Alice. Now, please, go out with me.

\- I have been out with you.

\- Once, for two minutes outside your workplace. I don't count that as a date. Let's go and have dinner.

\- I work in a diner, Charles. I don't want to spend my evening in one.

\- Then let's go for a coffee.

\- This is a cafeteria too.

\- Oh, Alice, you have got to give me something here. I have been courting you for a month now, and I don't even know your last name.

\- It's Waters, she said like it was nothing. My last name. Courting, huh? Who even uses that word anymore, it's the 70's Charles.

\- I do, doesn't everyone?

\- Not anyone I know, she shrugged and her dark curls fell to her forehead in a way that made Charles wish he'd been closer to move them back behind her ear. - Last I heard it was at an Austen novel.

\- Alice Waters, I am asking you for a date. Let us do anything that pleases you, a glass of wine, a coffee, a movie - it's all the same with me, I only ask that you go out with me.

And just then, a small smile moved in the corner of her so serious lips, a smile Charles managed to notice even if it disappeared all too quickly.

\- You do have perseverance, I must give you that much.

\- Is that a yes?

\- All right, Professor, she sighed (or was it a small laugh?) I'll go for a walk with you.

\- A walk, he had to laugh aloud. - Seriously?

She blushed suddenly, as if noticing his wheelchair for the first time.

\- I'm so sorry! I didn't mean-

\- It's fine, Charles interrupted, You can walk even if I cannot. And we do whatever you want to do. Tonight?

She nodded, and the smallest of smiles played on her lips. But Charles noticed that the look in her eyes was the look of a scared animal.

\- Tonight, Charles. I get off at ten PM, be here.

\- Looking forward to it, he smiled, and turned to leave.

With a wave of his hand the cafeteria full of people came back to live, and none of them had any memory of him ever being there.

For a long time Alice stood silently, and looked at the door that had closed after Charles Xavier. She was more scared than she had been in ten years.

Ten years, five months and thirteen days, exact. A lifetime of agony and fear, fear that still would paralyze her at night when she woke from a nightmare, or a memory.

She knew, that there was only one way this thing could end, and it was badly, as all love does. And she knew in her heart that there was no chance in hell that Charles was ever going to understand why.


	4. Books, secrets and kisses

_"I still believe in your eyes_

 _I just don't care what_

 _You have done in your life_

 _Baby I'll always be here by your side_

 _Don't leave me waiting too long_

 _Please come by_

 _I still believe in your eyes;_

 _There is no choice,_

 _I belong to your life"_

 _-Gigi D'agostino_

* * *

Charles had picked her up at ten, not a minute later, just as she had told him to.

He had been waiting for her in a very expensive sports car, which immediately annoyed her, for she had hoped for a walk, nothing else. But how could have she refused, when he had offered to drive her home so she could change?

It was true, that her working clothes were sweaty and wrinkled, and she desperately needed to at least wash her face and neck as well as change to something more comfortable - or prettier.

And so now she was standing in front of the mirror in her bedroom, painfully aware of the fact that she had agreed to go on a date with a very handsome man, and she had absolutely nothing to wear.

When did this kind of problems enter my world? she thought annoyed, staring unhappily on the mirror. Why cannot I have anything appropriate to wear for a first date, that's also going to be the last date?

She had undressed to her underwear, and the mirror was ruthless. It was one thing to be thin, but another thing to look like a 14-year-old boy. Her ribs were visible through her pale skin, she barely had breasts at all, and even if her waist was small compared to her hips, she felt about as curvy as a schoolboy.

Why do I even care? The thought flashed her mind. It should be all the same to me how I look. It's not like anyone's ever going to see me naked.

She shrugged the thought off, and chose a simple sleeveless dress, light blue, with a hem down to her knees. After checking the mirror, she added a belt to her waist to make it visible. You have to work with what you've got, had Mama taught her. If you don't have any curves, invent them. The memory stung like a dagger, and she quickly buried it. It wasn't like she had time to dwell in self pity right now. She had a heart to break, waiting for her in the car, right outside her home.

She let her hair fall free to her shoulders and back, put on a pair of big, wooden earrings, stepped on a pair of high sandalettes and grabbed her purse.

Let's get this over and done with, she thought to herself, walking back to the car.

She took a deep breath to calm herself as she felt Charles' feelings moving in the air as he watched her approaching.

There was curiosity there, and happiness, a little anxiety, some admiration (for what, she wandered), and of course the obvious, sexual tension that was almost like little electric shocks in the air.

I wonder if he even knows he's such a strong sender, Alice thought. His feelings were so easy to read, it was like they were spelled out loud. But his thoughts, they were more concealed. Good, she thought. I want to know as little as possible about him. It's not like this is going to lead anywhere.

\- You look beautiful, Charles said

\- Thank you. But let's get to the point will we?

He seemed confused. It must be annoying for him that he couldn't read her mind, she thought.

\- There is a point to us being here? We are on a date, Alice.

\- I would not call this a date.

\- Then what would you call this? Two people dressed in their best, driving in the car on beautiful summer night, looking absolutely gorgeous.

He had started the car and took off, so probably they were not going to walk after all. She did not like it. It was more intimate like this, him sitting too close to her. So close, that she could feel the warmth of his body, the aroma of his aftershave in the air. And his emotions, they surrounded her like small winds, making it hard for her to stay calm.

\- You are avoiding the subject, she noted, not looking at him.

\- That is the unfortunate consequence of me not knowing what the subject is.

\- The fact that you have been 'courting' me for a month now, or so you call it. I would call it stalking. So, here I am now. Ask me. Ask me what do you want to know. The type of my mutation? Am I dangerous to humans? Should I be trained to control my powers? Am I a terrosrist?

\- Alice, stop, he said sharply, almost annoyed. - Just, don't. Those are not the things I want to know.

\- Then why do I feel this way? she pleaded, looking sideways at him.

His beautiful, soft lips were pressed tightly together, and a sudden need to touch those lips filled her from head to toe. She had to look away to get over it.

\- Why do I feel this… this intense curiosity coming from you? This urge to get into my head? Why do you keep trying to read my mind? Just tell me, what is it that you want to know.

\- I simply want to get to know you, he said, silently, looking at her so intensely she had to look up and meet his gaze.

\- Why would you want that?

\- Because I like you, Alice, though you have not made it easy for me, he said. - I like you, and I just can't get you out of my head.

\- But I have been nothing but rude to you, Charles. I have done everything I can to make you not to like me. I have told you a dozen times never to come back. I called you names! How can you say that you like me?

He made a small laugh and looked at her under his brows.

\- Perhaps I just like the chase?

\- Or maybe you just aren't that bright.

Her remark made him burst to laughter, so that his white, almost canine like teeth showed. The husky sound of his laughter made her shiver deep inside.

\- I have doctorates in genetics, biophysics, psychology and anthropology, and a dozen published books, and you are telling me that I am not smart enough for you?

\- You must not get that much, do you, she mused. But to be serious, Charles. I'm telling you it would've been wise for you to not take any notice of me.

She looked down, to her hands that were resting on her lap. They were visibly shaking. She was nervous, no she was scared, more than she remembered being in a very long time. Charles must have caught a glimpse of her thoughts, for he became serious again, and the tone of his voice was the one you use, when trying to sooth down a scared child or a bird that has flown inside the house.

\- Let's just talk, no hidden agendas, no dark fears. Let's just drive around and chat for a while, that's all I'm asking. Like two ordinary people on a date, on a beautiful summer night.

She nodded, still not looking at him. The night outside was dark and warm, the wind moved her hair and felt nice on her sweaty skin. She looked up to see the stars, but the lights of the city made them almost disappear - a thing she hated the most.

\- I don't know what ordinary people talk about, Charles. I have forgotten.

\- About books, or movies. Or what did you do yesterday, or where did you grow up. What things you like, or dislike. How your day was at work. What do you like to do when you're not working.

She gulped. She should've just told him to take her home, right now. There was no way she could lead him on any more, to start chatting with him like it was no big deal. But he was so nice. He was so easy to be with, like a person who is totally comfortable with who he is and knows where he comes from. He was so polite, his manners so elegant and upper class, that it was obvious he came from a background of money and power, which made her feel safe, almost cozy. It also made her miss home so much it ached.

She looked into his eyes, and even in the darkness of night they were blue, blue like the sky on a sunniest of days, and she wanted to tell him everything.

\- I like to read, she almost whispered. I read a lot, actually. That's pretty much all I do outside of work.

\- So do I, you see - we have something in common.

We have a lot more in common, than that, Charles, she thought, but out loud she said,

\- So what is your favorite book?

\- The once and Future King, I suppose. And yours?

\- There are so many… Sense and sensibility by Austen, Shakespeare's Othello, Anna Karenina of Tolstoy.

\- Not any light readings.

\- I read all kinds of books, but you asked for my favorites.

\- I did, he said and smiled to her, and she felt his smile like a tingling in her nervous system. - So, Othello?

\- Because of the characters. And I love the way he describes the feelings of jealousy and betrayal.

\- As do I. But don't you think Shakespeare had a bit too grim vision about human nature?

\- Not at all! Haven't you read his other plays?

\- I have actually, all of them.

And without noticing, Alice was swept into the conversation. All she had to do, was let go. To let go of her fear, of her suspicion, of her habit to not let anyone near. And it was so easy that she couldn't believe it. Within a few minutes he had made her put down her guard she had kept on for more than ten years.

They kept talking about books, and of movies too. She confessed to him, that she didn't like going to movies, because "It is too noisy there", and he immediately understood that she didn't mean the sound system. And he told her about his favourite movies, his favourite restaurants and all other small, seemingly small and unimportant issues, that made her relax, even smile and laugh.

Charles drove the car to a small hill outside the city, where the air was clear and they could almost see the stars, and stopped there. It was almost midnight by then. They had been talking for two hours, and not any of the questions she had feared had been opened.

\- It's such a beautiful night, she whispered.

\- You are beautiful, Charles answered.

She turned to look at him. His eyes were bluest of the blues, and they were full of yearning, and she felt the tension in the air. The wind moved his hair, and she wanted so bad to run her fingers through it, to pull him near and kiss those beautiful lips. She had never wanted to kiss anyone this bad, and she had to bite her lip to stop herself from doing it.

\- Alice, he whispered, and his voice was slightly out of breath.

It was a little husky, and it felt like he was already touching her, like she could feel his voice moving on her skin, his thoughts wrapping around her.

She knew she should stop it right there and right now, but unable to do so, she watched as he raised his hand, carefully, to gently place it on her cheek.

\- No, Charles! the command left her lips and her mind like a shriek.

His hand stopped midair, as if it there was a invisible glass shield protecting her.

\- Do not touch me! You never should try to touch me!

And suddenly all the peace, all the happiness she had felt, was gone. She was back at the darkest of dark places, and there was no way out.

Charles look at her, silently for a while, and slowly let his hand fall back to his lap.

\- Why can't I touch you, Alice?

\- Nobody can.

She hid her face in shame, looking down, tears burning in her eyes.

\- What happens if someone does touch you?

\- They get hurt, she whispered.

\- How?

She really didn't want to talk about it, but his question was fair. She had lead him on, and now she had to tell him, but it was so difficult. The words stuck in her dry throat.

\- If someone just bumps onto me, like passing me on the street, nothing serious, she managed to start. They get a bit nauseous, get a migraine or they might get dizzy. And if they touch me a bit longer, like say shaking a hand or something like that, they might faint.

\- And if they touch you a bit longer than that?

She looked up to his eyes. There was no judgement there, no fear.

\- Someone got hurt once, she said silently. I don't want to talk about it.

\- All right, he said. You don't have to.

\- I am sorry Charles, she said, tears suddenly filling her eyes.

\- Do not be sorry, he said and looked deep into her. - Your touch will not hurt me.

\- How can you say that?

\- You are a telepath, no? And an empath. It might well be as you say, that you cannot touch humans. But I am not a human, Alice. I am like you. We are the same. I am sure, that your touch will not hurt me.

\- You don't know what you're talking about.

\- Trust me.

He raised his hand, palm up, waiting for her to place her hand on his. Something like an anger, a rage long bottled up, woke up inside of her. Alice looked back at him, a storm in her voice.

\- How could I trust you on this one? You do not understand! You are out of your mind to think that it could be safe! You would not try to caress a cobra, would you? Nobody wants to touch me! People keep their distance on instinct, they are that much smarter than you are! I am that cobra, and people know better than try to come near me.

He didn't look startled that she had raised her voice. He still looked at her, stern and severe, a gentle promise in his eyes. His hand was waiting for hers.

\- I'm not other people, Alice. I know there'll be no harm. I feel it and I know you can feel it too. Trust me. My mind is strong enough to meet yours.

She was silent for a few heartbeats, just staring at him. He was crazy! How come he wasn't afraid? And that stupid, ignorant bravery made her heart pump a little faster, and a forgotten, long lost hope rose in her soul.

Charles was still waiting for her hand, just looking deep into her eye, and everything about him said: "It's alright, Alice. It is safe. Nothing bad will happen when I am with you."

She shivered as an almost violent mix of fear and hope shook her body. She bit her lip and pressed her hands tightly to her lap, her knuckles gone white.

\- Just give me your hand, Alice.

And she obeyed his command. A giant leap of faith, she raised her hand and placed it on Charles', palm against his palm.

Their minds met instantly. She yelped as his thoughts surrounded hers, and then she was falling, falling so fast in an abyss, his hand still in hers, their minds together as they were one.

And then the bubble burst in a flash of golden light and spit them out of the tunnel onto a strange silent field. The light surrounded them from all directions and they were standing on a wide field of green grass and flowers, unlike nothing she had seen before. A gentle warm wind moved around them, made their hair fly in the air. Or was it only movement of their thoughts, she could not say.

For their minds were together, as if two halves had been made whole again. His thoughts were hers as hers were his. She felt all he felt, and likewise.

\- Alice, what is this place?

Charles spoke, but she heard his sentence before it even left his lips. She laughed, just because she could, because everything was amazing and beautiful and because she felt his laughter bubbling inside of her mind.

\- This is my mind! Or is it yours, Charles?

\- It's both, he said. Both of ours.

\- Yes! She laughed again, still holding his hand, for they knew that it was the fact that kept this place together.

\- I am not hurt, Charles almost shouted. You see? I am alright. And I am walking, Alice, walking!

\- Yes, you are, she smiled like a madman.

His happiness filled her mind so that tears came to her eyes, and suddenly she felt the overcoming joy, of him being able to stand up, to meet her eyes on his feet, to be able to take her hand and walk with her. His fingers softly brushed hers, his palm was warm on hers and she felt the tingling, like electric current on her skin where they touched.

And then, just like that he pulled her into his arms and kissed her.

His soft, dry lips pressed carefully onto hers, his breath tasted like mint and it was so warm, so sweet, that her mouth watered. It was like a spark was lit inside of her, and his kiss breath air into it. And before she knew how, she was burning, from this weird desire, a passion that pulsed in her veins as Charles moaned and pulled her even closer.

Alice felt her knees go weak. She had not been kissed like this, well not ever, and she hadn't even realized how much she had longed for it.

His hands moved to her face, to her hair and then down to her shoulders. She sighed as she felt his fingers caressing her bare skin, and then under the straps of her dress.

Charles' lips were hard on hers now, demanding. Alice moved her shaking hands to his chest, but felt only bare skin under her fingers. The fabric of his shirt was disappearing under her touch, like it was body paint under a waterfall.

She inhaled sharply - she had almost forgotten this was their mind place. Their thoughts and desires came to life here.

The thought shook her.

Did she really want this?

But his mouth was so sweet, so gentle and so rough. And she longed to press herself against his bare chest, to arch her back and open herself to his kiss. As he was now undressing her shoulders with his mind, she felt the agonizing need to continue. Gently he swept his fingers down by the straps of her dress, and they vanished. She gasped as his fingers teasingly moved down, washed away the soft fabric of her sky blue dress.

\- Oh, Alice, he moaned into the kiss, and Alice felt her body responding, like it was hot, molten lava.

Suddenly she felt nervous.

This was going too fast.

\- Charles, wait. She managed to breath into the kiss.

Reluctantly he stepped back and withdrew himself from the kiss. His hands moved to her shoulders.

\- I'm sorry, I can't, she whispered, and stepped back, out of his reach.

Their mental contact disconnected instantly, and she was wiped back to the abyss, falling, falling and this time with no one to hold on to. She screamed, and the shriek died only after she realized she was sitting on Charles' car again. Her dress was back on, and the car's clock showed exactly 1 minute more than it had the last time she had checked it.

How was it possible that almost no time had passed?

Alice looked at Charles, her heart still beating like the wings of a hummingbird.

Charles was breathing heavily. He looked at her with dark eyes, full of longing.

\- I'm sorry, Alice, he breathed. I was moving on too fast.

\- Don't be sorry. I wanted it too. I just… It's been so long…

\- Shh, it's alright. He raised his hand as if trying to touch her again, but let it fall back down. You don't have to explain.

\- It's just… It has been ten years since someone touched me last time. Ten years, five months and fifteen days exactly.

\- And someone got hurt.

\- Yes.

The memory was still so painful, it stinged her soul and brought bitter taste to her mouth. She had to look away. A silence lasted a few heartbeats before he said,

\- Tell me what happened, Alice.

\- Some other time, maybe, she tried to smile. - I am feeling very tired now. It's been a long day. Would you take me home, please?

\- Of course.

They drove back to her place in silence. She felt tired, more so than in a long time. Charles seemed unaffected by their contact, but Alice felt drained, exhausted. Or perhaps it wasn't their contact that had took her strength. Perhaps it was simply the fact that she had been on a date. That had not happened in ten years either, and she hadn't remembered how it felt to talk so much about herself.

Charles parked the car in front of her home, and stopped the engine.

\- Are you alright, Alice? I am truly sorry if I was inappropriate.

He looked concerned and Alice felt his mixed feelings in the air. Worry (for her, obviously), sexual yearning, some sweet, deep happiness, but also anxiety.

\- It's not that, really. I'm fine. It's just been a long day and I need a good night's sleep.

She opened the door to step out, but Charles reached for her, almost taking her hand again. Alice stopped to look back at him. His narrow lips looked like they wanted to be kissed, and she hoped to God she could do it, but there was no strength in her left for another trip to their mind place. She breathed out a sigh, brought her face closer to his to taste the air he was breathing. She could feel the heat radiating from him, hear the sound of his beating heart, and the desire to touch him was like lava inside of her abdomen.

\- I have to go, she whispered reluctantly. - I really do.

He was sending very clearly now, a desire to come up to her apartment. He was too polite to say it out loud, but she picked it up anyways.

\- Charles. You cannot come up with me. Alice opened the door again, and this time she really stepped out of the car. Firstly, because it's our first date and I am not that kind of a girl. And secondly, I live on the fourth floor.

\- And there is no lift, he added, breaking their eye contact. - First date? That means' there will be a second one?

She smiled, a small shy smile, and his eyes light up.

\- Thank you Charles, she said after a short silence. For the nice evening.

\- It was my pleasure, Alice, he smiled, and her heart skipped a beat. I will call you. Will you please this time answer my call?

\- I promise, she smiled. For how could she not?


	5. Kiss and tell

It was almost 01 Am, when Charles finally returned home. The mansion seemed dark and quiet, as it should on this hour. He parked the car on the underground garage, and moved to a wheelchair that was waiting for him. A bittersweet memory flashed his mind; a memory of him standing on his two feet, holding Alice in his arms, bending his head down to kiss her. With his 5ft 7 inches, he wasn't the tallest of men, but compared to her he had felt tall.

And alive, oh God how alive he had felt when being able just to reach out and kiss her.

The memory of the kiss made his insides ache with longing.

He made his way to the kitchen, as they hadn't dined with Alice, he felt hungry. It was already on the corridor that he felt a presence in the kitchen, a mind so familiar to him it was almost like his own.

\- Raven, what are you doing up at his hour, he asked as he opened the kitchen door.

A slender blue figure was sitting by the table, a steaming cup of hot tea in front of her. Charles' heart filled with warmth. It was so good to have her back. Losing her had almost made him lose everything else too, including his sanity.

\- Waiting for you. You took your time didn't you?

\- Is there something you want to talk about?

He grabbed an apple from a basket on the table, and took a bite.

\- Nothing more than your date. So, tell me all about it!

He had been going towards the fridge, but now he stopped and looked back at her.

\- How do you know about that?

\- A little bird sang it to me, she smirked and sipped her tea.

\- A little beast more likely, he noted grimly and opened the fridge.

A beer. He definitely needed a beer now. He grabbed one and closed the fridge.

\- Alright, Hank might have mentioned something about a girl.

\- He shouldn't have, Charles was annoyed. It's not a big deal, really.

A lie, a big fat lie. And as always, Raven could see right through him.

\- You are a lousy liar, Charles. No big deal? This was the first time you went out with a woman, since… since when?

\- Alright, it's been a while. But I have been busy. The school takes all my time, you know that.

\- Don't try to change the subject, she snapped. I didn't wait up this long to talk about school. Just tell me, Charles, who is the girl who dig you up from your hole? I want to know all about her.

He sighed and rolled his eyes.

\- Raven, you never used to care about the girls I dated. In fact, you despised them all, if I remember correctly.

\- That was a different time. We were different people back then, Charles.

\- Well you are right about that. I had no trouble getting a date those days.

\- You wouldn't have any trouble with that now either, if only you'd ask someone. The only thing that has changed since then is the fact how you see yourself.

He felt annoyed. She had always known how make him mad, even when they were little. He took his time sipping his beer, before answering, but still the bitterness sounded in his words.

\- Because a guy in a wheelchair is every girl's dream come true, Raven.

\- Don't you dare feeling sorry for yourself, Charles. You know how I hate that. There is so much more in you than just the chair, and you know it.

Charles sighed, and put the beer on the table. The gaze of Raven's yellow eyes was almost angry now, and he knew why. It wasn't like her love life had been easy either. It had been unwise to open the conversation about the past.

\- It took me a month to get her to go out with me, Raven. Fifteen years ago it would have taken me two minutes.

\- A month? Her yellow eyes widened. Well, I really hope your date was better than the ones you got in two minutes.

He couldn't help but to smile as remembering Alice and their kiss.

\- It was a good date, Raven. A very good date.

\- So tell me about her! I am curious, and Hank wouldn't give me anything.

Charles looked at Raven, and suddenly felt a small sadness in his mind. He knew Hank would give anything for Raven, if she only asked him. But it was not his place to interfere, he had tried to make her decisions for her, for a long time, and look where that had got them.

\- Her name is Alice.

\- Alice? Like the one who fell down the rabbit hole?

\- Yes, just like in the story. Alice Waters.

\- Sounds like an alias to me.

He was startled.

\- What makes you say that? he asked.

\- Ah, nothing. Just forget about it, She waved her hand and grabbed her tea mug again. But tell me Charles, how does she look like? Any perky mutations?

He thought of Alice, her petite form, her slender neck, beautiful heart shaped face with big green eyes, a small nose and delicate, full lips that looked all the time like they were just waiting to be kissed. A huge waterfall of dark brown curls that had a touch of copper in them, and when she moved they waved around her face in a way that made him want to run his fingers through them. How could he describe all that?

\- Let me show you, he said and placed his fingers on his temple.

She leaned forward, looking at him with her bright yellow eyes, and he concentrated, sending a memory of Alice to her mind.

Charles picked the moment he had first seen Alice. A moment he had entered the coffeehouse and seen her behind the counter in her waitress outfit, her curls tied back with a scarf, her serious lips pressed together, concentrating in brewing the coffee. She hadn't seen him yet then, a moment when they were still total strangers. A safe memory, not attached to any feelings he didn't want Raven to see.

\- A waitress? Raven noted surprised as he finished sending. A pretty one, though. But still, I'm surprised.

\- She makes excellent coffee. That's a good feature in a person.

\- But that's not how you usually pick your dates.

\- I have no pattern, Raven. You said it yourself, I haven't been on a date in ages, what does it matter if she is a waitress?

\- It doesn't, not to me. But I'd imagine it would have mattered to you.

\- It's not her waitressing skills that made me want to know her, Charles said.

\- Then what is it? She is a mutant, right? What are her talents?

He smiled, looking down and took a sip of his beer.

\- Funnily, we didn't really talk about that. Yes, it was what caught my interest, but she didn't want to share much of that. But she is an empath, and a telepath of some kind.

\- Like you.

\- Not like me, different. I think her powers are more linked to feelings, as mine are of thoughts.

She finished her cup of tea, and got up to place it on the sink. She was not dressed, and every curve of her natural, blue form was visible. Charles looked away, he still hadn't gotten used to her going around naked.

\- I'm going to bed now, Charles said, finishing his beer. You should do the same, Raven.

\- I'm all grown up Charles, You don't have to tell me when to go to bed.

\- Sorry, an old habit. They are hard to lose, you know.

\- I know, Charles.

She walked to the door, but stopped there, looking at him, smiling now.

\- But it's not like I'm going to go to bed before you tell me what happened on your date. You give me some lame, month old memory of this Alice, and I think there is a reason you didn't want me to see anything from tonight.

\- Raven, there is such a thing as privacy, ever heard of it?

\- Says a man who constantly reads other people's minds? Please!

Charles tried to go past her in his chair, but she was blocking the doorway. He had to stop in front of her, and look up to her yellow eyes.

\- Come on, Charles. I'm curious. What happened that you don't want to tell me? Was there any kissing?

He rolled his eyes to her and sighed.

\- It's not like I'm going to give you any dirty details.

\- Ha! So there are dirty details to give? I knew it, Charles. I told you you haven't changed.

\- Alright, alright! There was a kiss. One kiss, that's all. How come this is such a big deal to you, Raven?

She smiled, and let him pass. The look in her eyes was sad and gentle at the same time.

\- It's just good to see you happy, Charles. You've had enough hard times as it is. We both have. Good night, big brother.

And with that she left him, walked away from the kitchen, her blue form vanishing into the darkness of the hallway.


	6. Of hope and despair

Alice woke up happy that morning. It was a sunday and she had the day off. She stretched on her bed, curled her toes and arched her back like a cat. There was no hurry, she had slept better than in weeks, the sun peaked through the curtains and she heard bird singing on the tree just outside the window.

She felt cozy, warm and relaxed. Happy, inside and out. What was this strange feeling? She drifted in and out of sleep, and then she finally remembered. Charles! He had kissed her. Oh God, he really had kissed her and her body still felt the waves of pleasure and need that kiss had awakened in her.

Or had they really kissed? Did it count as a kiss, if it had happened only in their minds?

She sat up in the bed, shook her head. How was it possible to feel that physical in one's mind, she wondered. How was it even possible to be that aroused telepathically? It had all felt so real, every detail of his body against hers.

Ok, this was officially weird. This was weird even for her. She'd really have to do some serious thinking before going out with him again.

Alice stepped out of the bed and yawned. She walked to the kitchen and began to make coffee. The fridge was almost empty, she was out of milk - again. With a sigh she sat down to the only chair by the small table. The smell of coffee began to drift in the air as she looked out of the window. It was going to be a beautiful day, a hot one again, like it should be in july in New York.

And just then the doorbell rang. She stood up, startled. Slowly she walked to the door, and looked through the peephole. She felt something, like a threat, but it passed as she took a look. There was a man, wearing a uniform of a flower company, holding a huge bucket of dark red roses.

Roses. I

t couldn't be, could it? Charles, he really shouldn't have, a smile played on her lips and a warm feeling filled her chest.

She opened the door, and without a word the man shot her with a tranquilizer gun that was hidden in the roses. She felt the dart sting her abdomen, and her knees betrayed her.

\- No! she tried to scream, but it came out a mumble.

She was on the floor, trying to crawl away. A table fell, as she tried to grab it to get back to her feet, and and a pile of books fell to the floor. Another sting of a dart, on her back this time.

There were roses falling like snowflakes around her, and the smell of the felt suffocating. And then only blackness, that swallowed her, and her desperate cry for help.

* * *

Charles thought about Alice from the moment he woke up. He thought about her during the breakfast, when he was talking with the students, and when he had lunch with Hank. She was in his mind the whole afternoon, when he was working in his study. It was like he just couldn't push her from his mind - not that he wanted to either. He could still feel their kiss on his lips, a burning sensation that made his heart skip a beat.

I'm going to call her tonight, he decided. No matter how needy that might be.

But the day was full of work, and it was late before he had time time to pick up the phone in his office. Alice hadn't given him her number, but luckily he found it in the phone book.

Charles felt nervous as he waited for her to answer. His palm was sweaty, and he could feel his own, rapid heartbeat. The phone was ringing for a long time, but no one answered. Disappointed, he put the phone back down. Perhaps she's working an evening shift, he thought. He felt temptation to try to reach her with cerebro, but he suspected she wouldn't like that.

It was difficult to wait for the next day, but what choice did he have? He had a restless night, and he woke up tired with black circles under his eyes. He felt worried, not knowing really why. But the day was as busy as the one before, and again it was late on the evening before he could pick up the phone and try to reach Alice.

Again the phone rang and rang, but no one answered. Charles was sitting in his office, staring at the blackness of night outside of the window. A weird worrying sensation grew in his mind. Why was she not answering the phone?

He went through their date in his mind.

Every detail was so clear that he could relive the moments. The way she spoke, the tones of her voice, the small laughs and careful, little smiles. And their kiss. Oh, how he remembered that, still feeling the tension in his body, the fire she had lit in him.

He had asked her, if she would answer when he called, and she had promised.

"I promise", he remembered her words, the smile that played on her lips, and the way she blushed and looked down when seeing the need in his eyes.

She couldn't have changed her mind, could she?

That simply was not possible. He couldn't read her mind, but they had shared enough time in their mind place, kissing, that he knew for sure that Alice wanted him, just as bad as he wanted her.

Then why was she not picking up the phone?

After trying a few more times, he was frustrated and concerned. He left the study, and headed to cerebro. So what if she didn't like him intruding, he'd have to know she was alright.

He kept trying to reach out to her with her thoughts, for a long time, but she was nowhere to be found. So many people, so many minds! All the people of the world and all the mutants, but no Alice. After hours of searching he was sweating and exhausted. He had been sure he could find her this time, now that their minds had touched. But no, it was useless. He pulled the cerebro's helmet away and left the room in agony.

* * *

The next night the dreams begun.

This was one of many to come, but as this was the first, it was also the worst.

\- Charles! Help me, Charles! Please, find me!

He heard her crying out in pain, but he was standing in darkness, and her voice seemed to be coming from every direction.

\- Alice! He shouted, Alice, where are you!

\- Help me, Charles! Help me! Help me! He heard her shriek.

The sound echoed around him in the darkness.

\- Help me Charles, they are coming!

\- Who is coming?! Where are you? Alice!

\- No! No, oh God, no! Please, no!

And then a scream, almost an animal scream of pure fear and pain.

But he didn't know which was worse, hearing her cry like that, or the silence that followed.

\- Alice! he yelled, panic and fear caught his throat, but no answer came.

She was gone and he was alone in the darkness.

The blackness around him was so complete that he saw nothing, not even his own outstretched hands, as he stumbled around trying to find her. He moved clumsily, like a blind man, fell down, but got up, many times. And all the time he called her name, again and again, until his voice broke off and he woke up in his bed, covered in sweat.

10 minutes later he was sitting in his study, with Hank who was wearing striped pyjamas and slippers, and Raven, in her natural blue form, naked and angry for having been dragged out of bed in the middle of the night.

\- It was just a dream, Charles, she snapped.

\- It was not just a dream! I am telling you, something is wrong. I have been trying to call her for two days, and I tried to locate her with cerebro. She is nowhere to be found. And now this.

\- Perhaps she is just playing hard to get, Hank suggested. You said she could hide cerebro before. Why not now?

\- I don't believe it. Not after what happened… Charles stopped mid sentence.

\- After what happened? Hank asked, looking from Charles to Raven.

\- On their date, Raven rolled her eyes. Apparently there was kissing.

\- Oh, Hank blushed. That's… nice.

\- There was one kiss, alright? And it really has nothing to do with this situation.

\- You're not that bad a kisser that she'd want to vanish? Raven asked.

Charles didn't even bother to answer her remark.

\- Fine, he snapped, If you two aren't going to help me to find her, I'll do it myself.

\- All I'm saying, Charles, continued Raven, that it's only been two days since your date. And how many times have you called her? Perhaps she needs some time to think it over and is not ready to talk just yet.

\- Then why is she screaming in my head? Charles felt his anger rising. Explain that to me, Raven, will you? Why is she screaming for me to help her, if she is avoiding my calls?

\- Wait, Charles, just wait. Hank plead. Of course we'll help you, right Raven?

She rolled her eyes, but after a few moments of silence, she nodded.

\- Sure. But there is nothing we can do in the middle of the night, she said. I'm going back to bed, and so should you.

\- I can't sleep, not now, Charles answered.

He felt his throat still sore and his voice raspy from shouting Alice's name. He could not imagine sleeping, still haunted by the encounter.

\- I'm going to go to check her work first thing in the morning. Will you go with me Hank?

\- Of course, he said. But it's one o'clock and the coffee house won't open in six hours.

Charles nodded, looking down. He knew Hank was right, but it was difficult to admit that he should just sit and wait for the morning. He was silent for a few heartbeats, and then looked up to the eye of his friend.

\- I'm sorry I woke you up. Perhaps it really was just a dream, go back to bed.

\- And what are you going to do? asked Raven, looking at him sternly with her yellow eyes.

\- I'll go back to cerebro.


	7. The good rat

_"Stars in their place_

 _Mirror your face_

 _I need to find you_

 _I need to seek my innervision_

 _Innervision."_

 _-System of a Down_

* * *

The next morning Charles and Hank parked the car in front of the now so familiar coffee house. He had barely had time to get out of the car and into his wheelchair, as the front door opened, and a curvy blonde in waitress uniform stormed out.

\- You! she shouted, and pointed a finger at Charles. Where is Alice? What have you done to her?

Charles' heart sunk, as he heard her words.

\- Nothing, he stated grimly. So she isn't here either?

\- No, I haven't heard from her since last saturday. She gave me a call after you took her home from the date, and that's the last I've heard from her. You sure, you're not hiding her somewhere, Professor? God, I can't believe I encouraged her to go out with you! I should've believed when she called you a-

\- I promise, I have nothing to do with her disappearance, Leonore.

\- And how am I supposed to believe that? She crossed her arms on her chest, and looked at him with anger and panic. In all these four years I've known her, she's never missed a single day of work. Not once! She's never even late, always on time. And right after you took her out, she is gone. Just like that, no explanation, nothing! Tell me it is a coincidence, if you want, but I'm not buying it.

\- Leonore, just let me-

\- Explain what you want, I am calling the police! And she turned in rage, to step back in, but just then she froze, mid step, one foot in the air, another in the pavement.

\- Leonore, wait. Charles' voice was now a command, gentle but determinate.

He moved closer to her, to be able to look at her in the eye, as she was still frozen.

\- I understand. I don't expect you to just believe me. Let me show you.

And he placed his fingers to his temple, picking a set of memories and sending them to Leonore's mind.

There was the first time he had ever seen Alice. His curiosity towards her, his desire to know her better. The way he had looked at her when she was working, admiring her beauty, the graceful way she placed items on a tray and carried it with perfect posture. There was the memory of him asking her out a dozen times, and the warm feeling that had pulsed in his bloodstream after she had finally said yes. And then there was the kiss. Oh, that kiss, that still burned Charles' lips like fire. The way she sighed, when he held her in his arms, the way her body responded to his touch.

And finally, the memories of this agonizing last couple of days. Him calling her again, and again, listening as no one picked up the phone. The nights he had stayed awake in the darkness, fearing for her, trying to contact her in every way he could think of.

It only took a couple of seconds to send the images to Leonore's mind, and when he was done, he let her go. She breath in rapidly, her legs were shaky and she sat down to the sidewalk, looking at Charles with disbelief.

\- You are in love with her, she breath out.

\- Yes, I believe I am, Charles answered.

\- You are? said Hank, startled. And how come she knew that when I didn't? What did you show her?

Charles turned to look at Hank.

\- Nothing of importance, just a set of memories.

\- He showed me the kiss, Leonore noted. I could see it in my mind, like I was there when it happened… How did you…?

She looked at Charles quietly for a few seconds, and then gave a small laugh.

\- You are one of those mutants, aren't you? Like a superhero. That's how you did it.

\- I am a telepath, yes. But I am no hero.

\- You could read my mind? Leonore asked, and looked him deep in the eye, but there was no fear, no judgement in her pretty, blue eyes, and he could sense none in her mind either.

\- I could, but I try not to do that, if not necessary.

\- And what he's superpower? she asked, nodding towards Hank. And who is he anyway, your bodyguard?

\- No, not at all, Charles was embarrassed: there had been no time for introductions. This is my friend, Hank McCoy. Hank, this is Leonore-

\- Leonore Havilland, she stated, getting on her feet. She shook Hank's hand, and Charles noticed that she eyed him with interest.

\- So, Professor here can read minds, what can you do? Leonore asked Hank, a question that made him stagger and blush.

\- Nothing really, not anything that would be of any interest…

\- He is a genius, his brain is quite extraordinary, interrupted Charles, saving his friend. That's why we call him the Beast.

\- The Beast, huh? Leonore gave Hank an appraising glance. I'd like to find out more about that.

Her remark left Hank speechless, which made Leonore give him a small smile with the corners of her full, red lips. Then she turned her attention back to Charles.

\- And what ar you called then, Professor Brainy? The Incredible Brainiac? The Master of Minds?

\- Please, I don't have a superhero name, 'cause I am not one.

\- We call him Professor X, muttered Hank.

\- Professor X? That's lame. I prefer the Incredible Brainiac.

\- Actually, so do I. Perhaps we should change that, noted Hank, on a way that annoyed Charles more than it probably should have.

\- Just call me Charles, please?

Leonore grimaced, but nodded.

\- Alright, Charles. So you didn't kidnap Alice, but then what happened to her? Where is she?

\- I don't know, he had to admit, and he felt his mood darkening again. I was hoping you could've helped me with that.

\- And how on Earth am I going to help you? You are the Master of Minds, and your buddy is the Brainy Beast. Can't you just send Alice some mental signal or something? Don't you have a telepathic phone line or a dorky helmet that sends brain arrows?

\- It's not like that, Leonore. And I have tried to contact her. She's not picking up her phone, not the ordinary nor the telepathic one.

She looked down to her feet, and then glanced backwards to check if she was needed in cafeteria, or perhaps she was just trying to pull herself together, for Charles could sense that she was feeling shaky.

\- Then what are we to do? she asked after a few heartbeats of silence. What happened to her, Charles? She is my best friend, and I...

Leonore stopped mid sentence, her voice breaking off.

\- I will go and check her place, Charles said. Can you give me the exact address?

\- Yeah, sure. She wrote the address down on a piece of paper, and handed it to Charles. - And hey, I have a spare key to her apartment! She gave it to my for emergencies, and I just remembered it this morning. I was gonna go there today after work, but if you can go there already…?

\- Yes, we'll go there right away. Thank you, Charles said as Leonore handed him the small key she had pulled from her pocket.

\- You know, Professor Brainy, You'd better find her, Leonore gave him a stern look. You might not be the one who kidnapped her, but I still don't think this is a coincidence.

\- What do you mean?

She shrugged.

\- You took interest in her. She hated that, you know. It's not that she didn't like you. I think she did, at least I've never seen her looking anyone like that… But still, she wanted to be invisible, and she disliked being noticed. To tell you the truth, I think, perhaps she was hiding, and didn't want to be found.

\- Hiding from whom? Charles asked, hardly able to keep his voice calm. Please, Leonore, tell me everything you know.

But she just shook her head and looked down.

\- I really don't know. There was something in her past, something she didn't want to talk about. A bad romance maybe? I don't know… But I do know that she was afraid of something. Perhaps it's that something that found her now.

Charles didn't answer. He was thinking.

Something in her past, something she didn't want to talk about.

"I haven't touched anyone in ten years." she had said. "Someone got hurt"

There were no coincidences, there never were.

There had to be a connection, and he would find it, no matter how hidden it was, no matter how many stones he'd have to turn, how many minds to read. He would figure this out, and find Alice.

And he would bring her back home.

Just a few minutes later they parked the car in front of Alice's home.

Charles turned to look at Hank, who was driving, and reluctantly said,

\- Hank, I need your help to get there.

\- Which floor? he immediately understood.

\- Fourth. And there is no lift.

\- It's no problem. I'll take the chair first.

Charles waited in the car while Hank disappeared into the building, carrying his wheelchair.

He hated this.

How long would it take that he would get used to asking help? And how long would it take that he'd learn to accept that he was constantly held back by his injury?

He suspected, he'd never get used to this. To being disabled. Not a day passed, that he didn't miss walking. Just standing up, like any other person. Now that he couldn't, it seemed like the most amazing thing, a miracle that other people did, without even realizing that they were doing something extraordinary.

So, what was he worth now, after losing the gifts of 4 billion years of evolution?

Some days he hoped he had never stopped taking the mixture Hank had developed to help him, and today was one of those days. If he hadn't, he'd be up on the fourth floor already, and not waiting in the car like a child left behind.

Enough with the self pity, he heard Raven's voice in his mind.

She was right, she usually was. It wasn't like he was going to get his legs back dwelling on the past.

But still it seemed like forever, before Hank returned, and helped him out of the car.

He picked Charles up like he weighed no more than a child, and carried him up the stairs, onto the 4th floor.

\- Thank you, friend, said Charles as Hank helped him to his chair.

\- It's alright, you know I don't mind it.

Charles didn't answer.

He had turned his mind to the task ahead. He looked down the hallway, searching for the number 47, and found it on the other end of the corridor. It was a door, exactly like every other door he saw, a brown wooden door. No decorations, nothing to make it look different.

She didn't like to be noticed, Charles muttered to himself.

He pulled the key from his pocket, and slowly turned it on the lock. The door opened silently, and Hank pushed it so that they could enter the apartment.

The first thing Charles saw, were the roses.

They were scattered on the floor, already faded, their petals turning brown.

And then the books. Piles of books everywhere, but also on the floor, like they had been thrown there, open, upside down. A small table laid on the carpet, fallen.

\- There's been a struggle, Hank said.

\- Yes. Something bad happened here.

\- Look at this, Charles.

Hank had kneeled to the floor and picked something up. Something small, with red feathers, and handed it to Charles. He took it, and recognized it immediately.

\- A tranquilizer dart, he noted grimly. His heart fell, it felt like a cold stone was placed in his chest, and it made it hard to breath. Someone shoot her with this, to make her less dangerous.

\- And then took her away.

\- So it would seem.

They proceeded to kitchen, where days old coffee stood in the pot. Someone had turned off the coffee maker, though, Charles noticed. An empty porcelain mug with pictures of pink roses waited on the table.

Somehow that sight made Charles feel hopeless.

\- She was making coffee, but never had time to drink it.

\- When do you think this happened? asked Hank.

\- It's now Tuesday… so probably Sunday morning, Charles stated. Leonore said, she tried to call Alice on sunday, and she didn't answer. And look, the bed is not made, so what ever happened, most likely happened right after she woke up.

They had moved to the bedroom, which was the only other room of the small apartment.

Charles let his observant gaze go around the room.

\- This doesn't look like a typical young woman's flat, noted Hank.

\- No, it doesn't. Makes you wonder, doesn't it?

The furniture was all antique and very expensive. The chest of drawers was probably hundreds of years old, as was the bed. There was also a big mirror, with a decorative frame, hanging on the wall, curtains were of thick, old fashioned fabric, with emroided flowers and birds. There were white chrysantemums on a crystal vase on the nightstand, their petals already falling, and some jewellery on an open box beside it.

\- Real pearls. And diamonds, Charles said, picking some of them up.

\- It seems' she's not short of money. Just by selling some of those, she could have supported herself for months.

\- Sometimes it's hard to let go of the things that remind us from the past, Hank.

Charles moved closer to the drawer, and picked up a photo frame with a photograph of a two young girls sitting on a bench, laughing. They both had dark curly hair, green eyes, and a carefree smile.

\- That's Alice, Charles said.

A painful longing made his heart ache.

\- But who is the other girl? Her sister?

\- Most likely. Perhaps a twin? They look the same age.

\- You don't know anything about her family, do you?

\- Not a thing. We didn't really talk about that.

\- The what did you talk about?

Charles made a long sigh, remembering their conversation.

\- About books, mostly.

\- She sure reads a lot for a waitress, noted Hank, eyeing the piles of books that stood in every table and on the floor too.

\- Yes she does. But look at this place, it's obvious that being a waitress is just a cover story. I should probably have a chat with Leonore later on, Charles said, she might know more than I do.

He put the photo of two girls back to it's place on the drawer, and noticed another one. That was of Alice too, also an old photo, taken at least ten years ago, showing her as a young girl, perhaps age 15, riding a beautiful horse. Alice's posture was tall and proud, and the wind blew her hair.

Charles kept looking at the pictures silently for a while, but finally turned to face Hank who had been observing the rest of the room.

\- I don't think there's anything more we can learn from here, Charles said.

\- Should we talk to the neighbors? To see if they've heard something.

\- I was just thinking about that myself, Charles turned to leave, with a last look of Alice's room.

There was the odor of chrysanthemums and roses, but he could sense Alice's scent as well. He remembered all too well how she had leaned closer to him in the car, her breath on his lips, and the memory cut through his heart like a knife. The blanket of her bed hung partly on the floor and on the pillow you could stilll see where she had laid her head.

There were pink slippers on the floor, and a pile of clothes on a chair near the bed. Charles recognized the dress she had wore to their date. The dress he had begun to undress, revealing her beautiful shoulders and collarbones to his touch. He remembered the texture of her soft skin, the way she had breathed in sharply as he had glided his fingers downwards.

He forced himself to look away and left the room in agony.

* * *

Blood red snowflakes were falling on top of her, on her face, and everywhere around her.

Alice blinked a few times.

Why was the snow red? Or were they snowflakes at all, for they smelled like roses.

She felt drowsy, her head was heavy, her eyelids weighed a ton. It was like a bad hangover. Had she been drinking? She couldn't remember.

Roses.

Roses sting. There was a memory of sharp pain that came with the scent of flowers.

And then she remembered another time, another blood red snow, a million years ago, and she forced her eyes open.

There was no snow, no roses. There was only a plain, concrete room, and she was laying on the freezing floor.

\- Well, hello, said a familiar female voice.

A voice she knew too well, and just hearing it again was enough to turn her insides out. The metallic taste of fear and shame settled in her mouth.

\- You did a good job hiding, like all rats do, Alexandra. But I knew I'd find you in the end. I told you I would. Do you remember?

\- Yes, she whispered.

\- That's a good little rat. And this time you are not getting away. This time you'll pay for what you did.

And every cell of Alice's body knew she meant what she said.


	8. Sleepwalking

_"Life is but a dream, drifting on a stream, a stream_

 _Consciously it seems_

 _All of what remains... ego brain_

 _Man made shame, shame_

 _Love after it rains,_

 _You see my pain is real,_

 _Watch my world dissolve,_

 _And pretend that none of us see the fall,_

 _As I turn to sand,_

 _You took me by the hand,_

 _And declared, that love prevails over all."_

 _-System of a Down_

* * *

Charles was walking in a long hallway.

It was dimly lit, with walls of pale yellow, and a tiled floor. It looked like an institution, like a hospital, or a prison, and he knew he had never been there before. There was no other sound than his echoing footsteps on the empty corridor.

There were a dozen doors, that all looked the same, and he walked past them all.

Only the door at the end of the hallway interested him. It had the number 47 on it, but no other sign, no name, nothing. He didn't know what he'd find there, but he was drawn to it like a moth to light.

It took forever to get there, as if time was sticky, and his legs felt heavier than he remembered them, but finally he reached the door and turned the knob.

He stepped into Alice's apartment.

It was just like he remembered, except that the chrysanthemums were fresh, and their heavy scent filled the room.

And by the window stood a petite figure, her hand aimlessly playing with the tufts of the curtains. She was looking out of the window, as if waiting for someone. And she was only wearing dark burgundy lacy underwear and those pink slippers he remembered seeing before.

Her skin seemed silky soft in the light of the setting sun, and in her dark curls, was a touch of copper. Her hair fell to her shoulders and back like a waterfall, and it emphasized the fact that her frame was very slender. Charles couldn't help but to let his gaze follow the curves of her slim body, the swan like neck, the delicate shoulders, the tiny waist, the feminine curves of her hips, and those gorgeous legs that seemed to go on forever.

Charles cleared his throat, that suddenly felt very dry, and stepped in.

It was only when he closed the door, that she heard him, and turned around.

\- Charles! she smiled, like never before. You are here, finally. I was waiting for you.

\- What is this place, Alice? he asked, trying to keep his eyes on her face. Is this our mind place? Or is this a dream?

She walked closer to him, purring like a cat, came so near that he could feel her warmth on his body. He laid his hands to her waist, and pulled her near. Alice looked up to his eyes, and her emerald green eyes glimmered in the lessening light. There was a strange, feverish look in them, a look that made his heart miss a beat.

This was a different Alice.

Where was the shy girl he'd learned to know? The one he had to court for a month to steal one kiss?

But she laid her hands on his waist and her fingers played with his belt, slowly opening it so, that he felt his need awakening inside of his abdomen.

\- Don't over analyze, Charles. This is just a dream, nothing more, she purred.

\- Is it my dream, or yours? he asked, feeling like his heart was trying to beat it's way out of his chest.

\- Yours, of course, silly Charles.

She raised her fingers to his neck, and pulled him to a kiss.

Her lips were soft and her breath scented like camomile tea and roses. He felt the agonizing urge in every cell of his body, the need to take her, to make her his, to pull her near, to to kiss her hard, oh so hard she'd melt on his arms. And so he did, kiss her with all his desire, opening her mouth with his lips, he let his tongue find hers.

When she broke off from the kiss, her eyes were gleaming, her breathing was shallow, and her voice husky.

\- And because this is your dream, Charles, you can do whatever you want with me.

He didn't answer. There was nothing to be said.

He grabbed her and lifted her up to his arms, carried her to the antique canopy bed, and threw her onto the sheets. Within seconds, he was on the bed with her.

Alice pulled him closer, to another kiss, which was even deeper and steamier than the first one.

\- Oh, Alice, I love your mouth, he moaned to the kiss. I could kiss you forever.

\- We don't have forever, Charles. Please, no talking. Just kiss me.

\- This is my dream, you said so. And I'm not planning to wake up any time soon.

He moved his fingers to her back and unstrapped her bra. And then his hands were on her small breasts, and he couldn't talk anymore.

Oh, they fit perfectly, and he felt how they responded to his touch.

He moaned, as he heard her small gasps of pleasure, and it made him feel like the biggest man on the world. He wanted this woman so bad, like he had never wanted anyone in his life. It was like his body was burning, and he never wanted it to stop.

And just then the thought hit him.

Why can't I read her mind? Why can't I feel her emotions, her feelings, like the last time we kissed?

\- Because this is a dream, Charles, she whispered to his ear. Stop over analyzing, and make love to me.

A dream. Alright. My dream, so I am in control, he thought. And if I am in control, I'm deciding to really feel her, like the last time.

But it didn't happen. He kissed her with all his passion, but only felt her outermost thoughts, nothing more. Nothing like the contact they had shared once.

The thought kept nagging him, and he just couldn't shake it off.

He pulled back, and looked her in the eye, suddenly feeling uncertain. Something was not right, he could feel it. But her half naked body in his hands was shivering, her eyes were full of longing, and he had hard time thinking about anything at all.

\- Charles, please. I need you to concentrate. I need you to make love to me now.

There was fear and disappointment in Alice's voice, and he couldn't bare to hear it. So he kissed her again, this time moving the kiss to her neck, to her collarbones, to her breast. He felt her heart beating under her pale skin, and the scent of her bosom made him groan. He ripped off her panties, and felt how her fingers begun to open the buttons of his shirt.

He fiercely pulled off his shirt, and threw it on the floor.

Those delicate, sensitive fingers were now on his waistband, opening his trousers, and he felt the desire burning inside, burning his every cell like a fire storm. He had never felt this kind of urge. He felt he would surely die, if he didn't get inside of her now. He moaned with need, and with Alice's eager help, he removed his pants and underwear, and off to the floor he threw them

He pushed Alice to the mattress with all his strength, and she made a small, surprised yelp, that turned him on like nothing before. And then he was on top of her, feeling her silky skin against his, her fingers on his shoulders, on his back, pulling him closer.

Charles moved his hands to her neck, to pull her to another kiss, and just then his fingers met something cold and hard on the back of her head.

He broke off from the kiss, panting. His fingers searched the items, like metallic pins, or screws, that went straight to her skull, only hidden by her hair.

\- Alice, what is this? he asked, shocked and confused.

She tried to pull away from his arms, but he held her with his strong arms, didn't let her go. His fingers felt something else too now, there were thin cannulas injected into her skull, through the metallic screws, the flexible tubes were taped to the skin of her neck and back, and he could follow them with his fingers.

He was 100 % sure they hadn't been there before, when he had unstrapped her bra.

\- Alice, what is going on? he asked, all the sudden feeling very calm, and concentrated. He was still holding her on his arms her naked skin against his own, but the heat was leaving his body.

\- Charles, why? Why couldn't you just make love to me, like I asked?

There was a sharp edge to her voice, like the disappointment gave a bitter taste to her mouth, and tears had burst into her eyes. But Charles felt only worry, and fear.

\- This is not a dream, is it? Not mine, anyways.

But she didn't answer, as the world begun to collapse around them.

Charles watched with disbelief, as the room disintegrated.

The furniture, the curtains, the flowers, all of it, turned to ashes and wind took them away. Within seconds her antique drawer vanished, the photographs shattered to pieces and flew into the wind, the flowers died and crumbled to dust.

All that was left was a plain, concrete room, like a prison cell, and they were laying on the cold floor. He was suddenly dressed again, but Alice was still naked.

And then Alice begun to transform in his arms.

Shocked, even scared, Charles let go of her, and pulled back.

Her hair was disappearing, ripped off by the wind, revealing a roughly shaved skull. The cannulas on the back of her head were fully visible now, and the sight made him nauseous. And her body was not slender anymore, it was skinny, even skeletal, her bones all too visible through her pale skin. But what was worst, her once so flawless skin, was now full of cuts and bruises. She had been brutally beaten, and not just once, but more likely dozens of times. There were bruises of all colors on her arms, her legs, her abdomen… in every part of her body. Her lip was cut and dried blood smudged her face.

Charles felt an iron hot rage begin to bubble inside.

Who would dare to treat Alice like this?

He knelt by her side, and tried to touch her again, now very gently, like caressing a frightened child. But she turned away from him, trying to hide her naked body from his eyes.

\- I never wanted you to see me like this, Charles.

She was crying now, he could hear it, even if he couldn't see her eyes.

\- You shouldn't have tried to deceive me, Alice. We have lost precious time.

\- You are a fool, Charles, to think that it matters. There is no hope. There is no saving me.

\- And you are a fool to believe, I'd stop trying!

He was angered now, with her as well. So, she had found a way to sneak into his consciousness, and how had she decided to use it? To lure him into bed with her!

\- I have been trying to find you for weeks now, Alice! he shouted, and forced her to look at him. I have heard you crying in my mind, screaming for help, night after night, after night. I have heard you being tortured, unable to stop it, unable to reach out to your mind, and still I have not lost hope. Do not tell me to lose hope, for I never will.

\- Then you are even more stupid than I thought, she whispered with a voice that told Charles, that she had indeed given up.

He grabbed her shoulders and shook her.

\- We are in our mind place, Alice. I know it. This is not a dream. I can find you now! Just tell me, tell me everything. Let me into your mind, stop blocking me!

\- I can't, she cried, tears running down her face. She's drugging me. It's not me blocking you, it's the drug… It's only because she is late to give me my daily dosage, that I was able to contact you at all.

\- That does not matter. Let's wake up now. Now, Alice! When you are still touching my mind. That's the way I can find you, with cerebro!

And just then he saw something awakening in her dark eyes, like a tiny spark of hope.

\- I don't know how, her whisper was so faint, he could barely hear her.

\- Concentrate. This is your mind, only you can wake us up. You can do it, Alice, I know you can.

\- Oh Charles, she sighed. I only wanted you to make love to me, one time, before I die.

Her words made his heart ache, and he gently caressed her cheek, wiped off her tears.

\- Oh no, no, no, no, no. You are not going to die, not here, not like this! And I will make love to you a thousand times before you die, but you'll have to help me find you!

\- It's too late! fear took over her voice, and she began to sob.

And suddenly she pulled away from his arms, screaming.

\- They are coming! They are coming, Charles! It's too late!

In despair he watched, as she crouched in the corner, pulling her knees to her chest, and pure panic engulfed her. He knew she was right, it was too late now. He could hear the footsteps outside the door, and a key turning in the lock. There would be no time to get to cerebro now, even if he woke up.

He followed Alice to the corner, knelt down to her side, and placed his hands to her shoulders.

\- Who is coming, Alice? Tell me! Who is keeping you here?

The door opened, and someone stepped into the room. Charles turned to look, but could only see a dark figure, like a shadow, walking towards them.

\- Who is that, Alice? Who did this to you? Tell me, Alice!

But she was out of his reach now, she was not listening anymore. Not to him, anyway. She was listening to the person, who had walked into the room, and Charles felt her mind slipping away from him, like sand through his fingers.

He was pushed away from her mind. It was like a wind grabbed him, and started dragging him away from her. He tried to fight back, but it felt like falling off a cliff, there was nothing he could do, but watch in horror, as Alice was pinned down to the floor, and through the tubes in her neck, another dosage of drug was injected into her brain.

Alice shrieked in pain, but she was not trying to fight back. She just lay on the concrete floor, and screamed and screamed, and screamed. Like all those nights she had in his dreams.

But this time he could also hear words in her shriek, and they chilled his blood.

\- You did this! You did this to me, Charles!

With her voice echoing in his brain, he woke up in his bed.


	9. Secrets revealed

The phone kept ringing.

He really didn't feel like talking to anyone. He had too much work, and too little time to do it as it was, and besides, he wanted to think about Alice. It had been almost three weeks now since she disappeared, and he still did not know where she was.

And last night had really shook him. He could still hear her scream: "You did this! You did this to me, Charles!"

She had been right, of course. Charles was positive now, that it wasn't a coincidence Alice was kidnapped right after he had taken interest on her. The guilt he felt, was like a cold stone inside his chest, pressing his heart and lungs, making it hard to breath.

She had told him to leave her in peace, and what had he done? Though he new better, as he always did. Alice had been right to call him arrogant.

There was nothing like whisky, when you haven't slept in weeks, and hate you guts so it hurts. Charles reached for a bottle on a nearby table, but the phone began to ring again.

Whoever was calling, was not giving up, and annoyed, Charles finally picked up the phone.

\- Charles Xavier, Xavier's Institute for Gifted Youngsters, he replied.

\- The Incredible Brainiac, is it? a flirtatious female voice said on the other end.

\- Leonore, he replied.

\- So Charles, do you often promise girls that you'll call them, and then just don't?

\- Leonore, I'm sorry. It's just… I've been busy.

He couldn't hide his mood, he knew she could hear it in his voice. He was desperate, and angry. And so tired, he hoped his head would just fall off his shoulders. Nothing makes man lose his mind, like never being able to sleep.

Leonore was silent for a few heartbeats.

\- You do not sound well, Charles. I take it, you still have not been able to found out what happened to Alice.

\- No, I haven't. I'm sorry, he rubbed his forehead. I know I promised to call you, but since there was nothing new to tell… Was there something you wanted to say, Leonore? A reason you called me?

\- I think we should have a chat. Do you have time to meet me tonight?

There was something in her voice that stirred up his interest.

\- Of course. Should we have dinner?

\- That sounds good, Charles. Can you pick me up at nine? At Alice's place?

\- I'll see you then, Leonore. Italian restaurant alright?

\- Perfect! she made a small laugh. I'm a sucker for italian food.

How could she laugh, thought Charles, when ending the call.

He couldn't even remember when was the last time he'd laughed. Or even smiled. It was like a part of him had died after he'd lost Alice, the part that was capable of feeling happiness or joy.

Charles checked the time, he had two hours to kill.

Whisky didn't seem like a good idea anymore, so he tried to get back to work, and picked up an essay from the too high pile on his desk.

But just then there was a knock on the door. Charles looked up, not happy to be interrupted.

\- Yes, come in.

\- Charles, I have something to show you.

It was Hank, who stepped in, followed by Alex Summers.

\- I'm trying to work, is it important? Charles rubbed his forehead, he had a constant headache nowdays.

\- I think so. Do you have time?

\- A few hours. I have dinner at nine.

\- A dinner? Alex asked, startled. Let me get this straight: you're actually leaving the house to have dinner?

\- Well, that is a surprise. With whom are you going? added Hank.

Charles rolled his eyes and sighed out, frustrated. He really didn't have energy for this kind of things.

\- Come on, guys. It's not like I never go out.

\- In the past three weeks you haven't, noted Alex.

\- And there is a reason for that. You know it.

\- About that, I've found some-, tried Hank, but was interrupted by Alex.

\- So, Charles, you are avoiding the question. Who is it you're having dinner with.

\- Leonore Havilland, Hank remembers her, don't you Hank?

Hank blushed slightly, and cleared his throat.

\- You are going out with Leonore?

\- Oh, calm down Hank, it's not a date. She called me and asked to see me. Apparently she has something she needs to talk to me about.

\- What is this all about, Alex was smirking at Hank. Who is this Leonore girl?

\- A friend of Alice's, we met on the coffee house. Hank mumbled, avoiding Alex's eyes.

\- I thought you had a soft spot for Raven, Hank. But if you ask me, it's about time you moved on. So, is this Leonore a babe, or what?

\- Alex, leave Hank be, snapped Charles.

He could see, that Hank was not happy about the conversation, and he made a mental note to ask for Leonore's number to give it to Hank. He had hoped for Raven and Hank to be able to resolve their issues, but Alex had a point. Perhaps it _was_ time he moved on, and Leonore's perky, full of life, full of joy and flirt, blond party girl style, was just the thing Hank needed. Not everybody needs to be miserable and unlucky in love, even if I am.

\- So, what did you want to show me? he asked, changing the subject, looking from Alex to Hank.

Hank was holding a pile of papers, and he walked closer so that he could lay them on the desk in front of Charles.

\- Well, I have been checking Alice's history, and I've found out some things about her, some things that might be of help.

\- It seems your girlfriend was keeping secrets, Charles, noted Alex.

\- Tell me everything, Hank, Charles commanded.

\- Let's start with the fact, that her name is not Alice, said Hank sternly. It's Alexandra. Alexandra Erzébet Esterházy, a daughter of Hungarian immigrants of the noble house of Esterházy.

\- So, you've practically been dating a princess, and didn't even know that, smirked Alex.

And for once, Charles was out of words.

 **A short chapter today, sorry about that. The next one will be longer. Thank you all for your amazing support and reviews! Please, keep reading and reviewing my story - it makes me want to continue updating!**


	10. What are friends for?

**I want to say a special thanks to all my readers, I am truly humbled by the positive feedback you are giving me. A very special thanks to lovestory2055 and Lily for their praise and good advice! Please, keep on reading and reviewing.**

* * *

 _Leonore was laying in her bed, her blond hair on pigtails, wearing a pink lacy nightgown, reading a romance novel. A plate with chocolate cookies was nearby on a nightstand, with a glass of milk._

 _The phone rang, and Leonore picked it up immediately._

 _-So, tell me everything!_

 _She didn't bother to check out who was calling, for she knew it was Alice. Who else would call her this hour?_

 _\- Leonore, please! I'm just calling to tell you, I am fine. Charles just brought me back home, like a perfect gentleman._

 _\- I told you so, she laughed. He has the manners of an English lord, and you were afraid he'd turned out to be an axe murdered._

 _\- Or a rapist, Alice snapped. Or a kidnapper. You can never be too careful!_

 _\- But I was right, no? A perfect gentleman, Leonore giggled. I hope no too much, eh? So you had a good date?_

 _Leonore heard how Alice sighed on the other end of the line, and when she answered there was a smile in her voice._

 _\- Oh, yes. A very good one. Leonore, he is amazing… I think. I think I am falling in love with him._

 _\- What? Really?! She was truly taken by surprise. Wait, wasn't it just this morning, when you told me you'd never go out with that obnoxious bastard in a million years?_

 _\- Yes, well… something happened._

 _\- Alice, darling, I know he is dreamy, and I still bet he is a total beast between sheets, but isn't this a bit sudden? I mean, you just had your first date._

 _\- I know. Perhaps you are right, but I can't help this, really._

 _\- Oh boy, aren't you in trouble, Leonore stated, and took a bite of chocolate cookie that was waiting nearby. - You should totally date more._

 _\- Anyway, I am too tired to talk about this now, Alice said and yawned. I will call you tomorrow and we'll talk._

 _\- Oh, wait, wait! Leonore mumbled, too much cookie in her mouth._

 _\- Yes?_

 _\- You can't hang up on me like that! I waited hours to hear the details!_

 _\- Leonore, you don't really expect me to tell you?_

 _\- Bloody Hell I do! So…? He kissed you?_

 _She heard Alice laughing softly on the phone._

 _\- He did._

 _\- And?_

 _\- And it was perfect. And that's all I'm gonna say about the matter._

* * *

 **Three weeks later:**

Leonore was standing on the sidewalk, waiting for Charles to pick her up.

She kept remembering that phone call three weeks ago, the last time she had heard her best friend's voice.

Alice had sounded so happy, so content, that it broke her heart now. Little had she known then, what was going to happen.

Leonore took a look at her wrist watch - a few minutes to nine. She was early, but she had wanted to take her time at Alice's apartment. She wanted to be sure, she had all she needed, now that she was finally going to meet Charles.

It was 9pm, exactly, when a super expensive sports car stopped in front of her, and she saw Charles on the driver's seat.

Leonore stepped in, with some difficulty, for she was wearing a very short skirt - a fact Charls no doubt noticed. In the car she turned her gaze at Charles, realizing, that he hadn't shaved, and there were dark circles under his eyes. Actually, he looked awful, for such a handsome guy.

\- So, How are you holding up, Charles?

\- Perfectly fine, thank you. And you? he answered with a polite tone.

Leonore felt suddenly angered.

\- Cut that bullshit with me, will you? You look like you were hit by a truck.

\- Excuse me? He gave her a startled look.

\- Just listen to me, Mastermind. You and I, we have only one thing in common, and that is the fact that we both love Alice. So let's not pretend that either of us is, fine, alright? We might as well be honest, if we're ever going to find her.

\- Well, you are certainly bloody good at the honesty. Was there something else you wanted to tell me, besides the fact that I look like crap?

\- Oh, Professor Brainiac, you can just pick that up from my mind, can't you?

\- I'd rather you'd tell me. It seems you are quite unhappy with me, so please, go on being honest.

\- I'm not unhappy with you, Charles, she snapped. I am plain angry at you. I have been waiting for days to hear from you, and you didn't even bother to pick up the phone to give me a call.

\- Listen, Leonore, he said and suddenly looked resigned instead of angry. I am sorry, I didn't call you, but…

\- But you thought, I would be no more use to you, right? After I told you I didn't know any more about Alice's background than you did, you just decided it wasn't worth the trouble to call me once a while and let me know if you'd heard from her.

\- That's not true. Charles replied sternly. No, I didn't call you, and yes, I am sorry. But you said it yourself, I'm not at my best right now.

\- Actually, I said you look like-

\- I heard you the first time, he gave her a look with those crystal blue eyes. A look, that told her she was going too far.

Leonore turned her gaze down. God, those eyes! He had the most unnerving way to look at other people! She blushed, and cleared her throat,

\- So you are apologizing?

\- Yes, alright, I am sorry.

\- Apology accepted. Leonore gave him a small smile. Anyways, I didn't ask you to meet me just to nag at you. I did have something to tell you, Charles. Something I think you should know, but to be honest, I'd rather tell it with a glass of wine in my hand.

\- And I promised to take you for a dinner, he said and turned the ignition key. The sports car roared like a lion, and when he took off, she had to hold her scarf so the wind wouldn't rip it off.

A few minutes later they arrived at a small italian restaurant. Charles stopped the car, but left the engine running, and in a heartbeat a butler had stepped out to greet them. He opened the door for Leonore, helping her (and her too short skirt) out of the car.

\- Buona sera, signorina. Benvenuta!

\- Thank you, Leonore gasped. She wasn't used to this kind of restaurants.

She waited, trying to hide her nervous, as the butler opened Charles' door too, and another servant brought a wheelchair from the restaurant. Without difficulties Charles moved from the driver's seat to the chair, and gave the keys (with a bill of ten dollars) to the boy who had helped him.

\- So, is my table ready, Mario? Charles asked of the butler, who stepped to push his chair.

\- Of course it is, Professor! Anything for you. It is good to see you again, and with such a lovely companion!

\- Mario, this is a friend of mine, Leonore Havilland, he introduced.

\- So, only a friend? The Italian butler laughed, helping Charles chair inside. No girlfriend, still, Professor?

Leonore walked by Charles' side, halfly listening Charles' and the butler chatting, half admiring the restaurant as they entered. It was obvious this was no ordinary place where you got a pizza and a Bud with 10 bucks. This was a classy place, of the kind she wasn't used to going to.

Suddenly she felt very out of place, an unpleasant feeling.

\- A fancy restaurant, Charles, Leonore noted, as they sat down to their table, and a waiter rushed to bring them bread and wine.

\- My favourite one. I was going to take Alice here, but…

\- You will. Don't give up hope, Leonore said and sipped her wine, which was excellent.

\- Funny you should say that, Charles sighed.

\- What do you mean?

\- Nothing. It's just, that is exactly what I keep telling myself. Don't lose hope, Charles. But most of the time I feel so hopeless.

\- She is alive. Or at least that much you tell me.

\- Yes, she is.

\- And how do you know that, exactly? You just keep telling me to trust you, but I'm having hard time doing that.

Charles avoided her gaze.

\- I can sense her thoughts sometimes.

\- Is that because she is a mutant too?

He almost choke to his wine. So, it was possible to take a telepath by surprise.

\- You knew that? he blurted out.

\- I didn't. But your reaction tells me it's true. So, what is her superpower? I hope it's something really cool! Like flaming arrows from her eyeballs, or the ability to turn invisible.

\- It's not really my secret to reveal, Leonore. If she didn't tell you herself during the years you knew her, I should not be the one to tell.

\- Oh cut that crap, she snapped at Charles, who raised an eyebrow.

Leonore blushed. Perhaps she should mind her language at a place like this, but there was something so annoying at Charles. He was so damn patronizing! Leonore wondered if he was like that with Alice too, but perhaps she didn't mind it.

And she hated to admit to herself, that he was right. Alice hadn't told her that she was a mutant, and Leonore couldn't help feeling betrayed. They were best friends, and had been since the day that shy, quiet, dark haired girl had stumbled into the coffee house asking for a job, and Leonore had taken her under her wings. She had always shared everything with Alice, but now that she thought about it, she really didn't know that much about her. And nothing at all about her past.

The waiter came to took their orders, and as she hadn't even looked at the menu, Leonore quickly chose lasagna. It wasn't like she was going to let Charles order for her.

She sipped her wine, and looked into his sky blue eyes.

\- There can't be any secrets between us now, Charles. She stated, setting down her glass. We are on the same boat, and I'm damn well going to get Alice back to this boat too, mutant or no! So you could as well tell me something about her powers.

\- Alright, she is a mutant. And she has powers similar to mine.

\- Is that the reason you wanted to date her?

\- You know it isn't, not the only reason. You saw that in my mind, Leonore. But that is the reason I can sense her mind from time to time. And that is how I know she is alive. But it is no use, I cannot reach her. I cannot find her with my powers, no matter what I do.

He looked away and shook his head, as if trying to get a bad memory out of his mind.

\- You've sensed her. Tell me how she is.

\- Leonore, I…

\- Please. I love her. She is like a sister to me, and I think I'm going crazy sometimes when she's not here to be with me. I need to know. If you don't want to tell me, please, show me. Liked you showed me once, outside the coffee shop, when you showed me you loved her.

\- No. I absolutely will not do that.

\- But-

\- I will not show her to you, he snapped, impatient. And that is my final word on the matter.

And Leonore understood. A fear made the wine taste like vinegar on her lips.

\- Alright then. She's that bad, huh?

He said nothing, but the haunted look in his eyes told her enough, and she felt her heart breaking. Tears dwell in her eyes.

\- This is not fair, you know? I'm just an ordinary girl from New York City. I've always had a perfectly normal life. I have a big and happy family with big and happy people, and so far the biggest tragedy in my life, was my great grandmother dying at the age of 104. I am totally unprepared for these kind of things! My best friend is a mutant? People are being kidnapped? Tortured? I'm not handling this very well, am I?

\- You are doing just fine, Leonore.

Charles gave her a reassuring look, and poured more wine to her glass. She raised it to her lips, grateful.

\- And to be honest, Charles continued, I can tell you from personal experience, that you never get used to this kind of things. No matter how many bad things happen in your life, they still hurt like Hell, every time.

Leonore eyed him silently for a while.

There was so much more in him, that met the eye.

She could totally understand why Alice had fallen for him, even if he was annoying at times. Those eyes were amazing. She had never seen eyes like his, so clear blue, and so expressive. And those beautiful lips… Leonore was sure that he was an excellent kisser, she could always tell from a guy.

And alright, she should totally stop thinking about that right about now, because he was no doubt listening to her every thought.

Blushing slightly Leonore looked down, and cleared her throat: back to business.

\- I asked you to see me so, that I could show you something.

And she pulled a huge pile of documents and notebooks from her bag.

\- So, a few days ago Alice's landlady called me, for she had not paid her rent. Apparently I was her "in case of emergency" contact.

\- Oh God, I'll take care of that, Charles promised immediately. Just give me the bills.

She did, and moved on.

\- Under the circumstances, I decided it was time to go through her stuff. In case there would be something useful there.

\- I thought of doing that, but it seemed too intruding somehow.

\- Well, it did to me too, but I decided to do it anyways, she stated.

\- What did you find, Leonore.

\- All of these.

She placed placed the papers and books onto the table, and pushed them towards Charles.

\- I think you should take these, she said. I went through them all, and there is a lot of interesting stuff in there. A birth certificate for example.

\- So you do know, that her name was not Alice.

\- Yes, I do. Leonore said, surprised. And, apparently so do you. For how long?

\- For about two hours.

\- It's not everyday you hear that you've been dating a princess, is it?

Charles laughed, suddenly an almost carefree smile lightened up his tired face.

\- You're the second person today to tell me that. Which reminds me… Tell me, Leonore, are you seeing anyone at the moment?

\- Why on earth would you want to know that?

\- Remember Hank McCoy?

\- Oh, the Beast with Super Intelligence? She laughed. How could I not? So, tell me, why do you really call him the Beast?

\- Again, not my place to tell.

\- You'd better, if you're going to ask for my number.

\- You like to play it hard, do you? Charles laughed. Alright, Hank is very strong and very flexible. How do you like that?

\- I'm liking what I'm hearing, she mused. Plus, I do think he is cute, in a nerdy way. I've always liked my guys smarter than me, anyway.

\- So, should I tell him to give you a call?

\- Why not, it could be fun. Leonore wrote down her number to a napkin, and handed it to Charles.

She needed something else to think about than Alice anyways. She hadn't been on a date once in these three weeks, which was unheard of.

Charles put the napkin into his pocket, and turned his attention back to the documents in front of him.

\- So, what else is in here, than Alice's birth certificate? he asked.

\- Photo albums, notebooks, a diary…

\- A diary? You read her diary? He asked sharply.

\- Parts of it. I know, I know, she'll kill me for doing it, and especially for giving it to you, but I think you should read it, Charles. And I think you should do it tonight.

Leonore had known, that Alice had been afraid, but only after reading her diary she really understood the amount of that fear, and how much it had controlled her life. It had been like Alice had lived in a cage, unable to break free - or even unable to wish for freedom.

And who knew, what kind of prison was holding her now?


	11. Princess Diaries

_"She seemed dressed in all of me, stretched across my shame._

 _All the torment and the pain_

 _Leaked through and covered me_

 _I'd do anything to have her to myself_

 _Just to have her for myself_

 _Now I don't know what to do, I don't know what to do when she makes me sad._

 _She is everything to me_

 _The unrequited dream_

 _A song that no one sings_

 _The unattainable, she's a myth that I have to believe in_

 _All I need to make it real is one more reason_

 _I don't know what to do, I don't know what to do when she makes me sad."_

 _-Slipknot_

* * *

The first entry on Alice's diary was made about four years ago.

"My name is now Alice. Turned 23 yesterday, and I feel about twice as old. A new town, a new job. Same face. Getting tired to this. Perhaps I should just give up? Don't know. Feeling depressed, exhausted. How many times am I gonna have to do this?"

Charles browsed the pages. After the first note, most of the entries were very short, only a few sentences. There were long periods without anything, and then there might be a note telling that she had "remembered to shop for milk, yay! No more black coffee!"

But even if there was nothing important, he read almost every entry, feeling guilty for doing it, but unable to stop.

It had been past midnight when he had returned from her dinner with Leonore, but his anxiety to read Alice's journal had cut away all his exhaustion. He had headed straight to his office, to his desk, pushed away all the essays and books, and opened the small leather covered notebook.

Reading her beautiful, old fashioned handwriting, was enough to bring tears to his eyes. He could hear her voice in his mind as his gaze followed the letters on paper, like she was talking to his mind.

"I've been here a year now. Getting too comfortable. I should start making plans, no doubt M. Is on my heels already. But I really like it here. Leonore is the best, I've never had a friend like her. It's gonna break my heart, when I have to leave her."

Who is M? Charles felt his interest stirring. This entry was made three years ago. He browsed forward through the pages, looking for that mysterious name, but found something else instead. The first time she mentioned him.

"Charles Xavier came to the coffee house today. He took notice of me, which was weird, but not unexpected. I am scared. I have to stop thinking about him. Talking to him would be like playing with fire, it would not end well."

And a few days after that, another.

"Why won't he just leave me be? I felt his eyes on me today, all the time. And his mind searching mine. Oh, how I hope I could forget everything, and just talk to him. Like any other girl. I bet he has a special someone in every diner in town, though. Damn, why do I care? I wish he'd go to hell. I wish I'd know what he wants with me."

"He asked me out again. Leonore thinks I should go, but she knows nothing. And I can't tell her, how could I? How could I tell her after four years? She'll hate me, I know it. As I do hate myself, for keeping all these secrets."

Charles poured himself a whisky without taking his eyes off the diary.

He found the notes he had wrote to her in the coffee house. She had carefully unfolded them and glued them all to her diary, with remarks like "Mr. Bed-me-eyes told me I looked pretty" or "Why won't he just give up? This makes me lose my mind!"

It was one thing to read Alice's entries concerning grocery shopping or visits to library, but reading her words about himself, made him feel like a peeping tom. Not the most noble feeling, even if he was somewhat used to it, being a telepath. The taste of whisky, the burning sensation that spread to his bloodstream, made him bolder, and so he turned the page to continue.

This entry was made a few weeks after he had first seen her, and reading it made his heart skip a beat.

"Last night I dremt of Charles. In my dream he held me in his arms, and kissed me, and his lips were just the way I had imagined. There was a fire inside of me, and he breathed into it. I wanted him so much, I wanted for him to rip off my clothes, to touch me everywhere… God, I want him out of my head! He's making me crazy by just looking at me! I should be out of this town already, soon it will be too late. I made all the preparations, why am I unable to go now? Damn Charles, damn Leonore. Damn it all, for holding me here. I will regret this."

Charles stopped reading, and took a break. A sip of whisky. He read the lines again.

"I made all the preparations" she had written. Preparations for what? For leaving, obviously. Charles bit his lip, and continued reading. Now there were notes from most of days, sometimes more than one.

"Stayed too long here. Should have left a year ago. M. has eyes everywhere. She must know about Xavier's school, and I'd be shocked if she didn't keep an eye on him. She will find me, I can feel it. But I don't want to leave everything again. Is it wrong to want to keep a friend? And a home? I hate this! Made a phone call today, to book a flight, but hang up. Oh, fuck this. I'm so scared, I couldn't eat anything today."

And then she was writing of him again, and Charles felt his insides melting as he read her words.

"I told him to sod off today, told him that I want nothing to do with him and his world. But the truth, that I can never tell, is that I want him. I want him. I want his hands on my skin. I want him between my thighs, and inside of me, every way I can Imagine. Just looking at him makes me high, intoxicated. I've never felt this way, and it's making me crazy! God, please, make this stop. Make him not to come back!"

It felt so wrong to read those words she had meant for herself only, but Charles could not help reading them again and again. He remembered last night, Alice in her arms, the way she had kissed him and begged for him to make love to her.

His blood felt hot inside his veins, and the dreadful longing to hold her, tore his soul and body.

By God, I have to find her. I need to find her. My body needs her like it needs oxygen!

The thought made his head high, and he tried to clear it by taking a gulp of his whisky. But reading the next lines was still no easier.

"I don't want to fall in love. Heaven help me! This will make everything a 1000 times harder."

Charles wanted to shout aloud. He wanted to take the diary and throw it out of the window, he wanted to smash his glass of whisky to the table and scream.

Why had Leonore insisted that he read this damn journal? This was pure torture. Alice had been falling in love with him, and now all he could do, was to read her goddamned diary.

They were supposed to be making love.

They should be together. She should be in his arms now.

He should be holding her by the waist, pulling her near, kissing her. His lips yearned to taste her skin.

But there was nothing he could do, nothing but to breath in and try to calm down, take some more whisky and read on. Luckily the next fewpages were not about him, and he found them somehow easier to read, even if they chilled him with their premonitions.

A week before she went missing:

"I'm almost certain someone followed me today. But he (or she?) was gone before I could reach their thoughts. I'm scared to go to work tomorrow, but I can't stay home either. I wish there was someone I could talk to."

And the last entry, only a couple of days before she was gone: "Decided not to leave. I cannot. I've had enough of that. Cancelled all the preparations. Come what may now, I'll stay. Perhaps it is time I pay for my deeds."

Charles read the last entry a dozen times before closing the book.

He only noticed he was crying, as tears fell to his hands that were still holding the diary.


	12. Sisters will only bring you down

\- Charles, wake up!

\- Alice…? he moaned.

\- I wish. Wake up already! I need to talk to you.

\- Raven?

\- Who else. Have you been here all night? Doing what exactly?

Charles felt groggy, like he had a really bad hangover - which was exactly the case. The taste of old whisky lingered in his mouth and made him feel nauseous. Slowly, avoiding swift movements, he lifted his head from the desk, and forced himself to sit up. There was a piece of paper stuck to his cheek, and he had drooled over his desk. He felt like crap.

\- Oh Lord, I need a shower, he mumbled.

\- You do, you smell like a drunkard. Or a homeless person. What happened?

\- I was here, reading… I must have fallen asleep.

\- And that bottle of whisky had nothing to do with it? There was a sharp edge to her voice.

\- Cut it Raven, I'll be fine in a minute. What are you doing here anyways? When did you come back?

\- I've found something, but I'm not talking with you as long as you stink like that. Take a shower, I'll meet you at breakfast in 30 minutes.

He showered and brushed his teeth, feeling better immediately. Some aspirin to cut the headache and a big glass of ice cold water helped too. In half an hour he was dressed and felt a lot more like himself.

When he returned to his study, he found Raven there, sitting on his desk, naked and all blue, holding a huge cup of coffee. Another one was on the desk waiting for him.

He really wish she didn't do that, go around with no clothes, but he knew better than to say anything.

\- This is what you call a breakfast? He asked, picking up the coffee and taking a sip. It was bitter and strong, and it made him wince.

\- I'm not much of a kitchen maid, you know that. You should be grateful that I brought you some.

It was only then he noticed, that Raven, while drinking her coffee, was browsing Alice's diary.

\- Hey, you're not supposed to read that!

\- Technically, neither are you. And still you did, didn't you?

\- Only to find out anything that could help.

\- Well, did you? her yellow eyes were piercing, and suddenly Charles felt annoyed.

\- Not much. Something about someone Alice called M. She was afraid of her, afraid that this M. would find her. But that's about it.

\- That would be her sister, Maria. You would have figured that out, if you'd cut down the whisky. Take a look at this.

And she opened the photo album nearby.

Charles moved closer to take a look. There was the same photograph he had seen in Alice's apartment, of two young girls sitting on a bench, laughing.

The writing below said: "Me and Maria 1966."

\- That's 11 years ago. She's in other pictures too, actually most of them. And in some she is referred only as M.

Charles quickly went through the album to notice, Raven was right. He looked up to her, to meet the gaze of her catlike eyes.

\- You only saw this album minutes ago. How did you know about her sister, he asked.

Raven shrugged, and stretched like a cat.

\- I've been doing some digging. That's where I've been the last week, looking for information about Alice. And I've found something you should see.

She unfolded an old newspaper, opened it for him to see.

There was a big black and white photograph, showing a number of people in a funeral, all dressed in black and crying, holding handkerchiefs and flowers. In the front row there was a familiar face, Alice. She was about the same age as in the photo of her and Maria, perhaps 16 years old, and very beautiful. Charles checked the date on the paper. February 6th, 1967. Ten years and 6 months ago.

\- Just keep on reading, Charles.

And he did.

"A tragedy shakes the foundations of the Howard family" said the headline. "It has been only two weeks, since the first born son of Alistair Howard, Alistair Howard Jr. was taken into hospital care after an incident at the family's traditional Christmas ball, and already the mourning family had to gather to his funeral. The circumstances upon his death are unclear, and the family declined to comment on the matter."

\- 'Someone got hurt', Charles muttered. This is what Alice was talking about.

\- I gathered so. The timing is right, anyway.

\- What did you find out about this?

\- Alistair Howard Jr. was the golden boy of the family. Handsome, bright, a good student… you know the type. A total asshole, I'm guessing. And guess who he was dating?

\- Alice?

\- Wrong, Maria, Alice's big sister. Barely a year older than Alice.

\- So what happened to him?

\- Not sure. But the hospital he was taken after that 'incident', was in fact a mental institution. And he didn't die of natural causes. The death certificate said that he committed a suicide, by thrusting a fork into his own throat.

\- Charming. So basically, what you're saying is that somehow Alice caused her sister's boyfriend to lose his mind and kill himself, and still after ten years Maria is after revenge? Doesn't that sound a bit… messed up?

\- And whose family isn't messed up? Raven stated. I don't know, but call it a hunch. And even if I'm wrong on this, there is definitely something strange going on between Alice and M. I have this gut feeling, that when I find Maria, Alice is not very far.

Her words lit a seed of hope in Charles' mind.

\- Raven, please tell me you know where she is.

\- I'm still working on that. I have some leads I'm going to check out today.

A cold determination was born in Charles mind. He put down the newspaper, and looked Raven in the eye.

\- I'm going with you.

\- No you are not. Raven gracefully slid down from the table, and walked to the door.

\- Don't you dare to try and leave me behind on this one, Raven.

She turned around, crossed her arms on her chest. There was a spark of anger in her husky voice, as she spoke.

\- Charles, this is what I do. This is what I'm good at. I need you to trust me.

\- I know you are the best there is. I know, you have brought here many people who thought they were lost, and I am not doubting your abilities. But I must go with you. There is nothing I can achieve by sitting here, useless.

\- You would only hold me back, Charles.

\- Because of the chair? Then I'll take a dose of the drug, and will be able to walk for a few days!

\- And numb your powers? She sounded shocked. Which are at the moment the only way you can try to reach out to Alice?

\- It's not helping. I am not any closer of finding her now, than the day she went missing. I'm not going to find her with my powers, I'll only go crazy trying.

\- Charles, I don't want you with me, she stated, Not because of the chair, but because you always try to control me, just like you're doing now. I know you don't mean to, but it's in your nature. And I can't be on my best if I have to worry for your opinion and judgement. You have to let me do this on my own.

\- Raven, don't do this. I'm not letting you go without me! he raised his voice, but she turned to leave.

\- Then stop me.

And with that she walked away from him and slammed the door as she left.

Charles hated when she did that! Walked away mid conversation, and didn't let him talk reason to her. He hated that she was so stubborn, and a part of him wished things were like they had been, when they were both children. It had all been so much simpler then.

But would I really want Raven to lose that spirit, to lose her own will? Charles thought. Perhaps she is right. She is capable of many things I'm not, and if someone can chase down Alice's sister, it's her.

He sighed, and took a sip of the coffee. His head was still aching, and felt heavy on his shoulders. It was now almost 9am, and it took a while before he remembered it was Sunday and he had no lessons to teach.

No hurry to be anywhere.

He picked up the photo album, and begun to go through it again.

The first pictures were of people he didn't know. "Granny at the old palace, 1920" said one note, and another "Granny and uncle Paul, 1928". There were many photographs of a woman that had great resemblance to Alice, apparently her grandmother, as a young woman in the turn of the century, wearing a tiara and a gown. Charles turned the page, he had no idea who the other people were, or what was the 'old palace'.

He made a mental note to go to the manor's library later on, and check if there was a book about Hungarian history, or noble houses of Europe. He obviously knew too little on the matter.

On the next page, there was a photo of two small girls, dressed in white lacy dresses, standing in a beautiful garden. Both of the girls had braided hair, and they were smiling to each other, like they shared a secret no one else knew about. The taller girl held an arm protectively over the smaller ones shoulders. "Me and Maria, aged 5 and 6." Alice had written.

Charles looked at the photo for a long time.

Could Raven really be right? Could it be so, that this protective big sister had turned into Alice's persecutor? Was she really the one who had beaten her, cut her lip, bruised her? The one who kept her in that cell, naked and starving, on that freezing concrete floor?

The memory of Alice shivering in his arms, with certainty that she was going to die, brought a sudden pain to his chest. Seeing her like that had been almost more than he could take.

"I never wanted you to see me like this" she had whispered, and Charles remembered her eyes, full of despair and not a smallest spark of hope in them.

He sighed, and closed the album.

He knew too well, that even the best of people can be turned into monsters. It only took enough suffering, to break someone's mind. He had seen that happening.

But still there was hope in him, hope for humanity, hope for even the worst of people, even for his own lost brother, Erik. As he had had hope for Raven, and Raven had returned to him, he still wished, that Erik would too. Even after everything that had happened.

It seemed that Alice shared his hope in people, Charles thought, or why else would've she kept so many pictures of her sister? But in his heart he knew, that Alice's hope had died, as she was slowly dying too.

And if Alice died before he'd have the chance to hold her in his arms, Charles knew it might be enough to break his hope as well as his heart, for good.


	13. Never give up

Charles walked in darkness.

He knew this place already, for he had been there too many a time. Every night for more than a month now, he had searched this place. And somewhere in this endless night, in this pit black darkness, was Alice.

He was dragging his heavy feet in something that felt like quicksand, and time and air stuck to his hands, to his skin, to his hair, so that moving was all but impossible.

But slowly he made his way forward, only one thing in his mind.

Her voice.

Wailing, sobbing, as if she didn't have enough strength anymore to even cry out, but it was enough for him to follow it.

\- Alice! he yelled, I'm here! Reach out to me!

\- Charles…

It was a faint whisper only, but it lit his way like a torch. He ripped his feet from the sand, and pushed himself forward, fighting against the wind that almost pulled him down.

And suddenly he could see her.

She was lying on the floor, naked, her eyes closed, in a fetal position, holding her knees against her chest. Her skin was pale, her bones visible through the bruised skin. The shaved skull was growing dark stubble, and he could still clearly see the canullas on the back of her head.

Charles felt something stuck in his throat, as he saw her.

He rushed to her, and knelt by her side, gently placing his hand on her shoulder, caressed it, ever so slightly.

\- I have come to take you away from here, he said. Come home with me, Alice.

\- Charles, you sweet fool, she smiled weakly. You know I cannot leave this place.

\- I'm not going to leave you here. The only way I'm leaving, is with you. Let's wake up together, now. Let's wake up, not letting go of each other, and then I'll come for you.

\- Charles, she moaned drowsily, there is too much drug in me. How did you even get here?

\- By not giving up. I am not giving up on you, Alice, and I'm not letting you do it either. I am here to save you.

\- Your eyes are so beautiful, Charles. Did you know that I used to call me Mr. Bed-me eyes? When was that…? It feels like a million years ago... But you are still beautiful. Oh, kiss me, please, Charles.

She was so high on the drug, her gaze kept wandering around the room, and her skeletal body felt feverish on his arms. He shook her gently, to force her to look at him.

\- I'll kiss you when we are together, really together, and not in this cell. I need you to concentrate, and help me now.

\- Someone's here, she whispered. Someone's coming.

\- No! he shouted, desperate. Not again! Not this time!

He had fought too hard to get to her, he couldn't take it, if this happened again. He pulled Alice near to his body, pressed her against his chest. If Alice could not wake up, he would to stay here with her. There was no way in Hell, he would leave her like this.

But then the door opened, and a familiar, blue figure rushed in.

\- Raven? he said, startled.

His concentration broke, and he fell off the dream.

* * *

He woke up, gasping for air in his bed.

Raven!

Had she really found her way to Alice?

In seconds he was out of the bed and in his wheelchair, still shirtless and wearing pyjama pants, hurrying through dark hallways to get to Cerebro.

\- Hank! he shouted in his mind, trying to reach out to his best friend, but there was no answer.

He searched the building in his mind. Hank was not here. Where the fuck could have he gone on the middle of the night, he cursed, but he knew already. Where would Hank not go, if Raven only asked him.

It felt like it took forever to reach Cerebro. With shaky hands, he grabbed the helmet and put it on. Raven's mind was so familiar to him, that it took only a few heartbeats to track her.

\- Raven, do you have her? he asked, dreading for the answer.

\- Get out of my head, Charles!

\- Not this time! Do you have her?

\- Yes. We're coming home now, so get the fuck out of my head.

He did, but only to get into Hank's. He could see them now, running on a hallway, a hallway he knew from his dream. The one with yellow walls and tiled floor, and a dozen locked doors. Hank was carrying Alice in his arms, her slender figure was wrapped on a blanket, only her feet visible.

\- Where are you?

\- You really aren't helping now, Charles. I'm trying to carry your girlfriend out of this goddamned place, and it's not easy.

\- Oh, I see.

\- Every instinct in my body tells me not to touch her! Please, Charles, I need to concentrate.

\- Just don't touch her skin, and you'll be fine.

\- Well why do you think I brought the blanket? Just be quiet.

\- Damn it, I can't!

But he did, and only after he was certain that Raven and Hank were safely on their way to home with Alice, did he take the helmet off his head.

He hadn't even noticed, but he was sweating, and his heart beat like a bass drum.

He couldn't believe it.

All this time Alice had been so near, barely an hour's distance from the School. He had picked it from Raven's mind, that Alice had been kept locked in a basement of a private hospital, where a certain Maria Harris was working as a surgeon.

He would search that hospital from roof to basement, and all its records, to make sure everyone involved would be brought to trial. But that could wait 'til tomorrow.

Everything could wait, except his anxious heart, that was dying to see Alice again.

Alice was coming home now, and that was all that mattered.

* * *

A few hours later, and he still couldn't feel tired.

It was morning now, the pale light of the rising sun entered the room from a narrow gap between the curtains. The house was still quiet, but he could feel the minds of students waking up, like the sounds of a distant city, or a beehive. It was almost 6 am, but he just couldn't close his eyes, for what he saw in front of him, was too amazing to give up for even a second.

Alice's face was just inches from his own, resting on a pillow. A bandage covered the shaved head and on the cuts of her cheeks and lips were newly made stitches. Her skin was pale, almost ivory colored, and her high cheekbones were creating sharp shadows on her face. Alice's eyes were closed, and Charles watched in awe how her lashes rested on her ivory skin, moving ever so slightly as she dremt.

He was resting by her side, still shirtless and in his pyjama pants.

What a night it had been, for all of them. His body felt the exhaustion, but his mind was more awake than in weeks.

They had spent hours in the sickbay. Hank had carefully removed the cannulas from Alice's head and stitched her wounds. Alice had been unconscious the whole time, still high on the drug, and Charles had held her, gently caressing her cheek, keeping her in sleep, while Hank cared for her wounds.

And now, here they were. Laying on a bed, side by side.

Charles could feel the air she breathed and the warmth of her body. He held his hand close to hers, so close they were almost touching, and it felt like electric current in the air. The sound of her breathing, the small sighs, were the most amazing thing he had ever heard.

He wanted to touch her so bad, to pull her near and to gently kiss her bandaged head, but he knew she needed the rest. She was badly injured, and he wanted nothing more than for her to heal. And so he just lay by her side, watching her sleep, guarding her dreams. Slowly, as the hours passed, his eyes closed too, and he let the current of her sleep pull him with it.

* * *

He woke up feeling the rays of sun warming his face.

\- You didn't give up, Alice whispered.

Charles' eyes opened, he saw her and it felt like it was the first time their eyes met. Her eyes were so green, and her skin so pale, it took his breath away.

\- That was never an option, he managed to say. I will never give up on you, Alice. I love you.

\- Oh, you really shouldn't, she said, and began to cry.


	14. Something worth living for

Alice felt like she had been hit by a truck.

There was no place in her body that wasn't hurting. A terrible ache cut through her head, like it was being sliced open, her fingers were burning, breathing felt like she was breathing fire instead of air.

Where am I? The fear stang through her, and she felt it's metallic taste on her tongue. And then she remembered.

\- Charles…! she breathed out, and forced her eyes open, even if that was difficult too.

But there was only a slender blue figure sitting on a chair by the window. Hearing Alice's voice the girl stood up and walked close to the bed.

\- No Charles here, only me. You can call me Raven. How are you doing?

\- Like hell, Alice moaned. Speaking hurt her mouth, which was dry as a desert.

\- Here, take some water, said Raven, and sat down on the bed, offering a glass to Alice's lips. Grateful, she took a sip, even if it that hurt too.

Great, my lip is cut, she noticed, feeling the stitches. I must look like a frickin monster.

She looked up to the other girl, her bright yellow eyes were serious, her skin dark blue like the evening sky, covered partly in some kind of scales. She looked familiar, like she had seen her in a dream. Or a nightmare. Alice remembered the cold concrete floor, and pain. She remembered Charles holding her in his arms, and someone stepping into the room. It was all foggy, like it had happened to someone else, but she knew it was true.

\- It was you. You saved me, Raven.

The blue girl shrugged.

\- Why did you do that?

\- Because I can't just watch by and do nothing, when a mutant sister or brother is being held against their will, She answered. You are not the first one I've helped. And also, I did it for Charles. We might have our differences, but I hated to see him like that. He was a mess.

\- Oh. Alice felt her face blushing. She remembered Charles, laying on this bed, looking at her with those crystal blue eyes. "I love you", he had said, and suddenly her heart skipped a beat.

\- He was here… was it this morning?

\- Yesterday. You've slept a lot.

\- I really need to see him. Is he here?

\- He is teaching. I forced him to go, he was here all yesterday, and most of the night, and I felt like he needed something else to think about for a while. But the lesson will end soon, I can go and tell him you're awake.

\- Please, do not disturb him. Alice looked down, her cheeks still burning. Is this the school? You brought me to the institute?

\- Charles Xavier's Institute for Gifted Youngsters. This is a refuge for people like us. You'll be safe here.

She felt her heart sunk. Safe here. Did it mean she would not be safe anywhere else?

\- What happened, She asked. What happened to Maria?

\- She disappeared. When we got to her office and to her home, she was gone, with all her staff and records.

Alice nodded. This was expected. Maria was like her, she had always been like her. And if Alice was good at hiding, Maria would be equally great. But perhaps it is better this way, she thought. For what would happen to her if she was caught? She wasn't guilty to the things she had done, but would the others ever understand?

\- How are you feeling? asked Raven, suddenly sounding concerned. Are you in pain?

Alice gave a small nod. The pain was growing with every second, and she knew it would soon be unbearable.

\- Actually, yes. Is there a doctor here?

\- I'll get him. Just try and rest for a while.

* * *

Alice hadn't even noticed that she'd drifted back to restless sleep, while Raven was away. It was only when someone stepped into the room, that she woke up again, only to notice that it wasn't Raven who arrived. There was a tall, dark haired man, that Alice recognized for Charles friend she had seen in a coffee house a few times. And then there was Charles.

Seeing him made her lose her balance, and her head felt dizzy. Oh Lord, he was so handsome. Those sky blue eyes were looking at here with such a concerned look, his gorgeous lips were tightly pressed together, his hair fell to his neck and shoulders on a way that called Alice's fingers to feel it. He was so beautiful, and he loved her. He loved her, and for a heartbeat or so, she could not think about anything else at all.

\- Are you alright? Charles asked. Raven told me, you asked for a doctor.

\- You are many things, Charles, but I don't think your Ph. Ds in genetics or anthropology will help me right now, Alice managed to say.

\- It's not me, don't worry, said Charles, and turned to his friend. This is Hank McCoy, and he is a medical doctor. Just tell us what's wrong.

Alice sat up, and looked Hank McCoy in the eye. He was a kind looking young man, with glasses and a nerdy style. He had an aura of gentleness and intelligence, and she liked him immediately.

\- Why don't you tell me, Doctor McCoy. What's my status report?

\- Well, there is quite a list, actually. But first things first. Painkillers?

\- Oh yes, please, Alice breathed out with relief.

It wasn't like she was going to play a hero and not take every drug that was offered to cut this unbearable pain. Hank gave her an injection (after putting on three pairs of rubber gloves, to be able to touch her), and after just a few seconds she felt the drug kicking in. The pain began to melt down into a bearable state, and she felt her head spinning.

\- Wow, that's some good stuff, Doctor, Alice almost laughed. Thank you.

\- Yep. And that's why you'll only going to get it twice a day. Please, call me Hank.

\- Alright, Hank. Now it's your turn, tell me all that is wrong with me.

And he did.

Alice listened quietly as he spoke. She could already feel that it wasn't just her mind that was broken, but also her body. But still, hearing it all was a lot to take. Broken ribs. Cut's and bruises everywhere. A few broken fingers and dislocated joints. Some fingernails pulled out. Dehydration, undernourishment, a severe blood loss, and so on.

\- Why is my head bandaged, she asked after he had finished his list.

Hank and Charles changed a concerned look.

\- How much do you remember? Charles asked.

\- Not much. Just some glimpses… But there was something, something in the back of my head, wasn't there?

\- Well, there was something inserted into your skull, Hank started. I removed them, but the wounds will take some time to heal.

Alice carefully palpated her head, running her fingers on the bandages. She remembered now. The cannulas, the drug, the tubes taped to her skin. Suddenly she felt nauseous.

\- They are gone now? she asked, her voice shaking slightly, but she could tell that Charles noticed it.

\- They are gone, Charles answered instead of Hank. I watched him take them out.

\- What were they used for?

\- We don't know exactly, said Hank. The other one was to put some kind of drug into your brain, probably to shut down your powers. And I think the other one was to extract something from your brain, your spinal fluid perhaps.

\- A lab rat, Alice muttered to herself.

\- Say what? asked Charles.

\- She called me a lab rat. A good rat. She was experimenting on me.

There was a dark storm in Charles' eyes, and even if Alice couldn't yet quite read his moods, because of the drugs, she could see that he was suffering to hear her words. His voice was even, but she heard it's somber tone as he spoke,

\- You are out of there now. And I'll never let her get to you again. You are safe here.

\- So they tell me, Alice whispered, and looked away from Charles.

Suddenly she felt exhausted, like all life had been streamed out of her. Her head felt dizzy and she had to close her eyes to regain her balance.

\- Thank you, Alice whispered, after pulling herself together. Thank you both, you have saved my life.

\- You will be alright, said Charles, Won't she Hank?

\- With rest, yes. And that's exactly what I'm ordering for her right now.

Hank left the room soon after, and left Alice and Charles alone. Suddenly the moment felt intimate, and Alice noticed feeling nervous. He loved her, she knew. But how can you talk about something like that?

How can you tell someone, that he means the world to you? That just the thought of his face, was all that kept you alive in the endless night?

\- There is so much we need to talk about, she whispered.

\- But not now. Now you need to rest. Doctor's orders, Charles smiled.

\- Which one?

\- Both of us, darling. We will talk when you feel better.

He was right, she knew, but still, all the things she wanted to say to him, but couldn't, burnt inside her chest so that she could barely breath.

\- But I am so sorry. I just wanted to say that, that I'm sorry.

\- You? he sounded startled. What on Earth are you sorry for?

\- For everything that has happened.

\- That's nonsense, Alice. There is nothing for you to be sorry about. If something, I am sorry. I'm sorry I didn't find you. I tried, you know I tried my best, but I failed you.

\- You're a fool, Charles, Alice breathed.

\- That's what you keep telling me.

\- Because you are. None of this is your fault. It's all on me. All my fault, and that's what you don't get.

\- And what am I not getting this time?

\- That it is tragedy that you fell for me. I told you I'm no good news, and you didn't believe me. Just look what I've gotten you into, and you've only known me for a few months. What is it gonna be from now on? I had this coming, Charles. That's what you don't get, that I deserved this. That I am a lab rat, and I will always be one. There is no way out of this for me. And for that, I am sorry.

And even if Alice had yearned to talk with Charles just a few minutes ago, she suddenly felt very tired. She laid her head on the pillow, tears burning in her eyes, but too exhausted to even cry.

Charles moved his chair next to her bed, and gently placed his hand on her arm, only touching her through the covers. She felt the comforting warmth of his touch anyways, and his face was so sad, that seeing it cut through her heart like a knife.

\- Sleep now, he said. I will watch, and drive away any danger that might threaten you .

\- You are too good to me, Alice whispered.

Her head was heavy. She felt her eyes closing, unable to fight the sleepiness that spread through her body, she knew she was drifting away from him.

\- Rubbish, she heard him say. Just sleep now, dearest. You'll feel better tomorrow.

\- I am scared, she said in her sleep. Or did she say it out loud?

\- I will stay with you.

\- You promise?

\- I promise. I will never leave you again, Alice.

And with him gently caressing her arm, she fell asleep.

No nightmare dared to sneak into her mind that night.

* * *

 **I can't believe how many of you have read my story so far! I am deeply humbled and grateful for your kind words and encouragement. Please, leave a review so I know what you thought of this chapter. Thanks!**


	15. Soulsisters

\- Sweetie, how are you? Leonore asked rushing into the room.

Charles had called her a few days ago, telling her that they had found Alice. (So he could pick up the phone to call a girl, apparently.) She had wanted to come and see her right away, but Charles had told her to wait. "She's been badly injured" he had said, and since hearing those words, Leonore had been scared.

Now seeing her was somehow even worse than imagining how she might be, and it took all she had, to maintain her smile, as she stepped closer and sat on a chair by the bed.

\- How am I? I'll live, said Alice and shrugged. But it is good to see you.

\- And you, honey. You gave me a hell of a scare! Just wait 'til I get to tell you everything I've went through because of you. I even had to go and have dinner with the Incredible Brainiac, and make fool of myself in a super fine restaurant, because of you!

\- Wait… the Incredible what?

\- Your precious Charles, Leonore rolled her eyes. He takes himself a waaay too serious sometimes, so someone should call him names from time to time, don't you think?

\- You're being too hard on him, Leonore, Alice noted, but there was smile in her eyes.

\- Well, he is dating my best friend. It's my duty to be a pain in the ass, right?

\- We're not exactly dating, you know. It's more like…

\- Like he's keeping you in his mansion and not letting you leave? Like beauty and the best, no?

\- Please, he's hardly a beast.

\- But I hear there is one, in this castle.

Alice gave a small laugh, but it clearly was painful, for she winced and touched her cut lip with her fingertips.

\- Are you in pain? Leonore asked, suddenly worried again.

\- Ah, not much. I get these super strong painkillers from Hank, and they are a bliss. But Leonore, Alice said, her face serious now. It really is good to see you, and I am sorry for everything that you've had to endure because of me. I have not been the best of friends to you.

\- Rubbish, Alice. You have been my best friend since the day we met.

\- And you my _only_ friend. But really, how did I repay you for that? With lies and secrets, and not much else.

Leonore stayed quiet for a few heartbeats. Alice had a point, but she was not prepared to have a serious conversation with her just yet. Some part of her had hoped that they could just continue their friendship from where they had left it. But if Alice wanted to start sharing, perhaps that was just the thing they should do.

It had been hard to read her diary, and realize how little she had truly known about Alice.

\- You should've been honest with me, that's true.

\- How could've I? I didn't want to lose you, the only friend I'd ever had. And most of all, I didn't want any harm coming to your way, should the worst happen.

\- And the worst you mean…?

\- This. I blame myself every moment for the risk I took by befriending you. And I thank the Lord for not letting anything happen to you. I couldn't have lived with myself, had my sister hurt you.

Leonore looked at Alice, truly looked at her now.

Her head was shaved, and bandaged. She had bruises all over, and stitches on her swollen lip. She had casts and bandages on her fingers, and from her posture Leonore could tell that she was in great pain, even if she didn't admit it. Probably there were injuries in all the parts Leonore couldn't see as well.

\- So… it is true then, what Professor Brainy tells me? That it really was your sister who did this to you?

\- Yes.

\- The one from the photograph? Maria?

\- She is… or was the only sister I'd ever had. Don't know if I can call her that anymore, though, Alice shrugged and looked down.

Leonore tried to accept what she had heard, but it was difficult to wrap her mind around the fact someone's family could be that messed up. She had 3 sisters and 2 brothers, and she loved them all to death, as they loved her. It was unspeakable to even think about harming any member of her family.

\- How could she? I mean.. I thought you two were close.

\- We were. But she is not the same girl anymore. Something happened to her, 10 years ago. Something that killed that innocent, beautiful girl and turned her into something else completely. It was my fault, so it was only fair that I paid for what I did.

Alice had spoke quietly, looking out of the window, like speaking rehearsed phrases. Leonore felt a spark of anger lit up inside of her. She wasn't the biggest fan of self pity, no matter how right on spot it might be.

\- Now would be a great time to practice that honesty thing, darling. 'Something happened…' and 'It was my fault'. Just spell it out. I know you are a mutant. So, what is it you can do? And how has that turned your sister into some kind of an evil twin?

\- Leonore, please… Alice looked at her, with fear in her eyes, but Leonore wasn't going to let this drop.

\- Don't you dare go 'Leonore, please' with me! Just spit it out. I love you sweetie, but if we're going to be BFF, you're going to have to start sharing.

\- Alright. You are angry with me.

\- Damn straight I am.

\- But you are also frightened, for you have suddenly been dragged into a world you do not understand. Also, you think that I look terrible - worse than you thought I would - and that I need a wig and a ton of make up.

\- Are you-

\- And you're having a thing for Hank - wow, didn't see that one coming! You thought he looked damn hot when you saw him on the driveway today, and you're wondering why he hasn't given you a call.

Leonore breathed in. And out. And in and out a few times more, until she regained her balance, and managed to speak.

\- You were reading my mind just there.

\- And now you're wondering if I've been doing that for the last four years, which I haven't. This was the first time, and if you want to, I promise never to do it again.

\- Thank you, Leonore stated, I'd appreciate that. But truly, I've always told you everything, so probably there is nothing in my mind that would shock you.

\- No, thank you, Alice said, looking at her with relief in those emerald green eyes (her best feature, if she'd only use some mascara!)

\- For what? Leonore asked.

\- For being so totally, abnormally OK with this. With me being a freak.

\- Well… to be honest, I was hoping for you to have laser eyes, ability to fly or super strength, but come on - this is awesome!

Leonore laughed, feeling suddenly the absurdity of the moment raising her spirits. Damn, it was good to talk to Alice! She had missed this.

\- Awesome? Alice gave a small laugh too. Just clarify to me, which part of this mess is awesome to you?

\- My best friend has superpowers! I'll never again have to wonder what a guy thinks about me. I'll just ask you! Which reminds me… about Hank. So, what's the deal with him? Why doesn't he call me? I think there is something between us, but then I don't know.

\- I don't know, Leonore, but if it makes you happy, I'll take a peek at his mind, even if it is a bit on the edge. I try not to do that to my friends.

\- Thanks, honey. You are the best. But do tell me, what's the dark side on this one? You tell me it's your fault your sister got hurt. I think it's only fair you tell me how.

The smile in Alice's eyes died, and she was suddenly dead serious, looking at her in the eye.

\- Alright, you do have a point. Leonore… I want you to think very hard now, and tell me, how many times have you actually touched me these past years.

\- What do you mean? Leonore was confused. I touch you all the time. I just gave you a hug when I came here.

\- Did you, really?

\- I… I didn't. Did I?

And suddenly she felt hollow, like a part of her was being cut away. Or like she was losing her mind, for she could remember hugging her friend, she remembered how fragile and delicate she had felt in her arms. And yet, at the same time, she could feel the memory slipping away, disintegrating like clouds after rain.

\- How cannot I remember? I always hug you. I am a hugger, you know that. And at work I touch you all the time. I greet you with kisses, and…

\- No, Leonore, you don't. You have never touched my skin during these four years we've known each other. Not once.

\- But… I remember that! Did you plant those memories into my mind? That is not cool, Alice.

\- No, I didn't. It is your wish to hug me when you see me, so I just let your wish to become a memory. Those things you remember were true, but they only happened in your head. An intention became a memory.

\- But why? Leonore almost shouted. Why let me believe all this? Why can't I give you a hug if I want to?

\- Have you not noticed how I always wear long sleeves, and gloves if possible? I do so, that no one would accidentally touch me. Luckily most people seem to sense that there is something off with me, and they keep a distance by instinct.

\- Sense what?

\- That I am dangerous to them. I am dangerous to humans, Leonore. People get hurt when they touch me, and worse.

There was a small silence, it lasted only a few heartbeats, but it was enough to bring tears to Alice's eyes. Leonore didn't care though, she was angry now. She was angry that Alice had tampered with her memory, and angry that she hadn't told her these things years ago. She deserved to know.

\- So, what happens to them? They lose their mind? They die?

\- Yes. That is exactly what happens. So please, believe me when I say that I have not been the best of friends. How does it feel now, Leonore, to know that you have been nurturing a snake? A murderer even.

Alice's words shook Leonore to the core of her being. A murderer? A snake?

She remembered how they had first met. Alice, a young and insecure girl, clearly scared of everything, had stumbled into the coffee house asking for a job. Leonore had liked her immediately, for some reason. She had felt familiar, almost like a lost sister, even if she was nothing like her real siblings. Actually she was the opposite of her family: small, dark, silent, shy. But perhaps those were just the things that attracted Leonore. With Alice she felt sure of herself, she felt funny and joyous, she felt full of life. She had never had a friend like Alice, to whom she could tell all her thoughts, all her troubles, and always feel totally and completely accepted.

All the nights they had sat on Alice's small kitchen, drinking tea and eating chocolate, Leonore talking about boys, Alice laughing at her stories. And the days they had worked together at the coffee house, chatting and laughing, sharing stories of weird customers or their horrid boss. And the girls nights out, trying out different outfits, sipping wine at Leonore's flat, putting on a ton of makeup and heading out together, not to meet any guy, but to spend time with someone who always understood how you felt, always said the right words, who felt like the second half of your own soul.

How could Leonore stay mad at Alice now?

Nothing had changed between them, nothing of importance anyway. Mutant or no, dangerous or no, Alice was her best friend and she sure as hell was not going to let her be swallowed by darkness!

\- I don't know the things you have done in your past, but I know you are not a murderer. I know you. You are my friend, and you are the most gentle, and kind human being I have ever met. There is no evil bone in your body.

\- But damn it, I-

\- I don't care. Nothing's changed between us. We are still best friends. We are still soul sisters, Alice, if you only want us to be too.

Tears began to burn in her eyes, and angrily she wiped them off. Oh, how she hated crying! But Alice was sobbing now, so Leonore could not help but to do so too.

\- How could I not, said Alice, I love you.

\- And I love you too. But now, enough of this sentimentality already!

She waved her hand and pulled herself together.

\- I've been here for how long, and you still haven't tell me what's exactly going on with you and the Lord of the Castle. So, tell me… how is this 'no touching' working with him? 'Cause I'm telling you that whenever I tell a guy to keep his hands to himself, they have hard time comprehending.

\- Well, Alice blushed slightly and looked down. It seems we can touch. Sort of.

\- Sort of? She raised an eyebrow.

\- It is complicated. We are still working on that.

\- Complicated, but possible?

\- Oh, yes.

Alice blushed even more.

\- So it is true he kissed you? On the date?

\- Yes. I think so. Most definitely maybe. Does it count if it happened telepathically?

\- Man, your life is weird, Leonore laughed, I don't know if I even want to know.

\- Most of the time, even I don't want to know. Alice said, and rolled her eyes. But you'll have to play with the card's you're given.


	16. The starry night

\- Have you ever wanted a woman so much, that you think you're losing your mind? Charles asked, capturing his friend's interest.

\- So she's still not letting you near? asked Hank, taking a sip of his beer.

They were sitting on the Charles' office, after a long day of work, and both had an opened bottle of ice cold beer in front of them. The night was already dark, but it was still warm, as it should be on the nights of early September, so the window was open. The breeze that still had the scent of passing summer and withering flowers moved the curtains, and ended up in Charles' hair - a welcoming relief after a hard day's work.

\- No, and by God, it's frustrating! He answered, Part of me feels that I was closer to her, when she wasn't here, than I am now.

\- You should probably talk to her, not me. Or call Leonore. I'm hardly the best one to give any advice on this matter.

Hank gave a grim glance, and Charles nodded. Hank didn't have to give an explanation. Charles knew what his best friend was talking about, even without having to take a look at his mind.

\- Still Raven, huh?

\- Charles, it's always going to be Raven. I might go on a date or two with Leonore or someone else, and find them attractive, but at the end of the day, I know who'll be on my mind when I close my eyes.

\- Then what is actually going on between the two of you? Have you talked to her about how you feel?

Hank was silent for a few heartbeats, slowly sipping his beer, but when he finally looked at Charles, his eyes were dark, full of longing and despair.

\- That door has closed, many years ago, he said.

\- When she left with Erik, you mean. But that is the past, Hank. Erik is her past, you could be the future. You'll never know, if you don't tell her.

\- Perhaps I just don't like to be the second choice. I can never give her what Erik did, and I would always be guessing if I am enough for her.

\- Perhaps she doesn't want what Erik gave, Charles suggested, perhaps she would like something else entirely. Something that only you could give her.

\- There are too many uncertainties in that sentence, Hank shrugged, still not meeting his eyes.

\- So you'd just rather go on dating Leonore, who has absolutely no idea you are in love with someone else. That's classy, Hank.

Charles tasted the bitterness in his own words, but could not help it. He tried to rinse it away with beer, but wasn't successful. Sometimes the stubbornness of his friend drove him nuts - why couldn't he see that Raven loved him too? He was certain of it, even if Raven had quite angrily told him to stay out of her business the few times he had tried to talk to her about it. But if Hank was stubborn, so was Raven, and they both had suffered the pain of a broken heart in their past.

But his thoughts were interrupted by Hank, who now gave a small smile and looked him in the eye.

\- Leonore told me to sod off yesterday.

\- Why? Charles was surprised. What did she say?

\- To give her a call, when I've decided who is it I want to be with. And that she's not going to 'waste her time with an idiot who's going to die alone just because he couldn't stop chasing dreams'. I'd like to mark, those were her words, not mine.

\- Oh God, Alice.

\- Who else? Hank emptied his bottle. I'm guessing it wasn't you.

Charles shook his head, and gave Hank a sympathetic look.

\- You know it wasn't. But you can't put this on Alice either, she was just trying to look out for her friend. You know, you would do the same for me.

\- Yeah, besides, Leonore was right. I am an idiot, chasing dreams.

Charles could not help but to laugh, for Hank was not the only idiot in the room.

\- Aren't we a sorry sight, my friend? Here we are, drinking bitter ale with even bitterer thoughts, just because we've been unlucky in love? Where is the spirit, Hank? Where is the hope?

\- You were always the one to hope, Charles. Hank said, and grabbed another beer.

\- Well, not always. You've seen me in my worst times.

\- But I wouldn't care to see that Charles again, if it can be avoided. You wanted to talk about Alice, and I stole the conversation. So, tell me, how are things between the two of you.

Now it was Charles' turn to look away. The night outside was dark, and almost as dark were his moods. He felt his longing for Alice in his bones, on his skin, on every inch of his being, as if he was a man suffocating, drowning, when the air was horridly out of his reach. He needed to be with her, he needed to hear her voice, to touch her skin, to kiss her, and Lord knows what else. But that had not happened, not even close, in all these two weeks she had been here with him.

\- Ah, there isn't that much to tell. What can I say? After the first few days, she hasn't said two words to me. She's still blocking me, and wont let me touch her, so I have no idea what's going on in her mind. You tell me, that physically she's doing better, but I don't see any progress in her, the opposite actually.

\- She was kidnapped by a sadistic lunatic for a month. You cannot expect her to be just fine after a few weeks of freedom.

\- I don't expect her to be fine. I expect her to let me near. So I could help her go through this.

Charles felt the frustration in his words, could almost taste it on his tongue. It made him feel like a very small person, and he felt ashamed. A horrible feeling, that one.

\- I think she might be depressed, said Hank. That's completely normal, after a trauma like hers.

\- But I need to talk to her. It's like I'm losing my mind here, Hank! She is so near, I can feel her presence in the house all the time, her thoughts moving in the air like wind, I can hear her voice in my ears, and by God, I want to kiss her so much, it's agonizing. And what does she do? Sit on that Goddamn balcony, reading a goddamn book.

\- You gave her a too nice room. Should've given one without a balcony. Stated Hank, and gulped his beer. So, which book is it this time?

\- I don't know, a new book every day. Soon she's read through the library.

\- Well, she'll have to talk you then, won't she?

\- I suppose, Charles laughed. Hear me out now, friend. Me, criticising someone for reading too much! I should be given a notice for this.

Hank laughed as well, and shook his head. There was gentleness in his voice, almost brotherly love. Something that you can see only in a person who has seen you in your worst, and still has stuck by your side.

\- I don't know much about women, Charles, but I do know love when I see it. She loves you, I know that for sure. Just give her some time, this has been very hard for her.

\- You are probably right, Hank, you have a habit of doing so. Anyway, I'm going to go and see her now - I've been pushing this off for two many days already.

* * *

Charles took a lift to upper floor, where Alice's room was.

He had given her the best still vacant guest room, on a quiet and peaceful hallway, on the other end of the mansion as the student's quarters. What he hadn't told her, was that his own study and bedroom were right below hers. It didn't matter, not to anyone else, but Charles liked the fact that he knew she was near. That way he felt, he could keep her safer. And sometimes at night, when she slept, he could feel her dreams and caught a glimpse of them.

Which actually made him feel like a peeping tom, once again.

He brushed off the awkward thought, and knocked on Alice's door.

\- Yes? said her faint voice through the heavy wooden door.

\- It's me, Charles. Can I come in?

\- Sure, just wait a second.

He heard her walking, her light footsteps, and then the sound of the door unlocking.

\- Come in, Charles, Alice said, and blushed slightly.

She always did that, when she saw him, which was enough to keep his hopes up. Oh, how he loved the way her cheeks turned rosy, it made his heart skip a beat every time. And now it was more visible than before, for her suntouched skin had lost its glow, and was now pale like china porcelain.

She didn't look much better than a couple of weeks ago, but at least she was walking and talking. Her head was still bandaged (Hank had cleaned the wounds and changed bandages every day), but the bruises and cuts were still there, only changing color. The stitches had been taken off, but there would be scars, it was clear now. A deep, red line cut her otherwise so perfect lips on a crude manner, and another one was on her right cheekbone.

And then there were of course her hands. The fingernails had begun to grow back, and some of the bandages had been taken off, but even Hank could not say how well the fractures would heal, after not being treated until weeks later. It was true, that Alice could not do much, but to sit and read, turning the pages with her few unbroken fingers.

But Charles did not care about her wounds, about her scars or her bandages. He didn't even notice, that her hair was still gone, replaced only by dark hazel fuzz, or that she was standing there barefoot, only wearing a loose hospital gown of unclear color.

To him she was the most beautiful creature on earth, and he wanted nothing more than just to be with her.

\- Are you reading again? He asked, just to make conversation.

\- Yes, I do enjoy the last warm nights of the autumn.

\- What are you reading today?

\- The once and future king, she said, and looked down, her cheeks burning.

\- But that's my-

\- Yes, it's your favorite. I thought it was time I found out why.

\- So, how are you liking it?

\- It is Interesting.

Charles laughed, a genuine warm laughter that came from his heart.

\- Isn't that what people say when they absolutely despise of something, and are just trying to be polite?

\- Well, I did have good upbringing. I was raised to be a princess and an heir to a throne, Charles.

That was the first time Alice spoke of her past, and it took Charles by a surprise. He had wondered for days, how should he approach the subject. The thought of simply asking her if she wanted to be called Alexandra instead of Alice had crossed his mind, but he had pushed it off. She was Alice to him, and he could not make himself to call her otherwise.

But now she had raised the subject, and Charles was not going to let it drop.

They had moved to the balcony, and Alice sat down on a small chair, moving the other one away so that there was room for Charles' wheelchair. The night was beautiful, and the stars shone on the sky, like diamonds on a black velvet, and they were reflected on Alice's eyes that in the dark were like forest meadows.

\- I love it, that you can see the stars here, she whispered, looking up to the sky.

\- Yes, I like it too, he answered. When I was a child, I used to go out every night, just to see the stars. They made me feel safe, somehow. Like there was something constant, something eternal in this crazy world… Tell me, Alice, could you see the stars where you grew up?

\- Yes, she sighed. And in Austria too. Sometimes I miss the constellations I used to watch there, when we were visiting relatives.

\- Would you not tell me about it?

\- Oh Charles, why should I? She turned to look him in the eye, and suddenly her sadness cut through Charles' hear like a spear. - It's all gone, the girl I was, the people I knew… none of it will ever come back. Why go digging something that can only surface bad things?

\- It can't be all bad. You said it yourself, you had good upbringing, and I'd like to know how you turned out to be so amazing.

He knew it was a long shot, but he had to give it a go. This was the first time since their first date, that they actually sat together and talked, and just hearing her voice was enough to make his skin go to goosebumps, and his head feel high. He was not hoping for much, but to his great surprise, Alice gave him a small, sad smile, and said with a faint voice,

\- Alright, I'll tell you, but it is a long story, and not a pretty one. And I'll only do it, because the night is so beautiful, and you have stars in your eyes, Charles.

And so she looked up to the stars again, and began, her voice sonorous like she was telling a long lost story, a fairytale she read from the stars.

"My family dates back to the 16th century, and I know every member of my house for hundreds of years. During the great Austrian Empire, the house Esterházy was among the closest and most loyal to the royal Habsburg family. Many marriages were tied between the two houses. Because of that, up until the year 1947 our family members automatically had a title of Prince or Princess, and some call themselves that until now, even if those titles have no legal status in Austria anymore. So yes, you could call me Princess Alexandra, of house Esterházy, if you wanted to, but I'd prefer if you didn't. I am not that girl anymore, if I ever was.

But let us go back in time again, back to the time when my grandmother had just given birth to my father, back to the first world war.. The first world war proved disastrous to my family. The Great Austrian Empire was cut to pieces, and many of my aunts and uncles lost their residences, and even their lives. My family line's estates ended up in the country now called Hungary. The communist rule that followed was however no less horrible than the war. The abolition of all titles and ranks was ordered, and the aristocratic estates were nationalized, including the old palace, the Esterháza Palace, where my grandmother Terezía lived. That stormy time made my grandmother, to seek a safer place to get back onto her feet, and gather again some of the wealth she had lost. So they moved to Germany, where my father grew up. But he never forgot his Hungarian and Austrian roots, and as he grew to be a young man, he fell in love with my mother, a distant member of the Habsburg family.

But alas, the world was only to turn darker and darker. The nazis begun to rise in the early 1930's and their rule was no good to immigrants, especially if you had any jewish blood, which unfortunately my mother had on her mother's side. It became clear they had to leave again, to search for yet another country that would offer them safety. The year 1937 they finally left Germany, thank God, for if they hadn't I probably wouldn't sit here telling you this story today.

They had left Germany with big hopes, but arriving to United States was not easy for them. It proved to be more difficult than either of my parents had anticipated. They had managed to gather a lot of our family's former wealth, but here their titles or their history meant nothing. They had a hard time letting go of what had been, and so I and my sister Maria, we were raised as princesses. When I was very young, I actually believed my parents, who told me that Europe was in a great crisis, and the only thing that could save it, was a noble family, a new Empire that would rise from the ashes of the old ones. That was the position I was raised to. I only began to question his words as I grew up, and gathered more information of the world, but by then the damage was already done. I had learned all the ways to be a princess, and no ways to cope with the American society.

My grandmother Therezía was the only one who was honest with me from the beginning, but ironically, she was also the one who taught me most of the things I learnt. She was a true princess, unlike me and my sister, who only longed to be true Americans. Oh, Charles, you would've admired her. She had this grace, like she had been born with it. It was like she had the being a princess in her genes! I wasn't as talented, though, but she was relentless when teaching me. She taught me all she thought a princess should know. How to speak French, German and Hungarian, how to walk with good posture - a book on top of my head. How to have conversation with the Emperor in the dinner table. How to bow, how to wave, how to walk, how to talk, how to dance, how to play piano… But most of all, she taught me how to love and to be loved.

For she loved me, truly and completely, unconditionally. She was the one who knew about my curse, before I did myself. And she was the one to whom I ran… after bad things happened. She opened her home to me, her heart to me, when my family threw me out and my own sister wanted me dead. I loved her for that, and I loved her for she was like me. She was one of us, Charles, a mutant, though I don't know what her powers were.

And I know you wondered about my furniture and my jewellery. They were my grandmother's, and her mother's before her. She left them all to me, when she died. So how could I sell them, for they remind me from the only person who loved me?"

And with that she finished her story.

The dark night was turning cool, the wind was no longer warm, and it made Charles shiver. But he was enchanted by her story, and the longing gaze in her dark green eyes as she watched the stars, was a like a memory from a distant, long lost world.

Charles' skin was on goosebumps and it wasn't just because of the cold breeze, it was because of her presence, of her words, of her voice that still lingered in the air.

With her cut lip, with her missing hair and her bandaged head, she had never looked more royal or more beautiful.

Charles could not help himself. He bent closer to her, gently placed his hands on her shoulders, and kissed her.


	17. Deep in the forest

The moment their lips met, Charles felt their minds merging together.

Alice made a small, surprised yelp, as they fell together, fell to a place of their minds, where everything was possible.

Charles felt the wind, and the light surrounding them. The light of the stars, of unknown constellations and galaxies, the wind and the humming of their thoughts was everything he could sense. And then, they were standing on a dark forest meadow. It was night still, but a night of summer, and the wind was warm. The silvery light of a full moon fell upon them, and Charles withdrew from the kiss, to take a look at Alice.

Still holding her hand, he stepped a little further.

God, his legs were working again. He could stand. He could walk!

The euphoria of being able to do these once so simple things, made him feel so full of life, like never before. He felt every nerve of his lower body tingling, like they had been awaken from a long dream. He felt the bloodstream, the muscles, and knew instinctively all the things he could do with them.

And when he looked at Alice, he felt the heat of need, and blood moving in his veins, in his hips and lower abdomen, and he knew what he was going to do to her tonight.

For this was her Alice again. Her beautiful dark curls fell to her shoulders, there were no bruises or scars, no bandages or casts. She was standing barefoot on the grass, wearing the same blue dress as on their first date, and her skin was glowing with the moonlight. The stars were in her dark eyes, and the wind on her hair, and he felt the familiar scent of camomile and roses in the air.

Every cell of Charles' body longed to touch her, and he felt her thoughts in his head, as if they were his own, yearning for the same thing. And so he pulled her close, and kissed her again.

Oh, it felt so sweet, her feather light kisses on his hot and needy lips.

The urge to take her right here, right now, made his knees felt week, and he grabbed her waist, pulled her so close to his body, that her small breasts were tightly pressed against his chest.

Charles pulled away from the kiss, panting, his heart beating like the wings of a hummingbird. He pressed his forehead against hers, his fingers played with her curls.

\- I'm going to make love to you, now, if you don't object, he breathed.

But suddenly he felt her thoughts changing, a spark of fear, and what was that - a hint of embarrassment emerged, and Charles felt confused.

\- About that… there is something you need to know, she said.

\- Yeah? Charles asked, now looking her in the eye.

\- Well.. I've never really done this before.

\- You've never…?

\- No.

\- With anyone…?

\- No.

\- So, you are a… virgin?

He couldn't believe it, it was absurd, he would've laughed if she hadn't been so dead serious and scared.

\- Yes, I guess you could say so, she whispered, blushing.

\- Oh Lord, Alice, how is that even possible? Have you seen yourself?

\- Charles, you are the first man to touch me, and not lose his mind or die! It's not like guys are lining up for that.

\- Woman, do you have any idea what you are doing to me? Charles moaned, and grabbed Alice, pulling her near.

His hands wandered to her hips, and pulled up her skirt. Oh God, she wasn't wearing any underwear! His hands grabbed her bare skin, and he had to clear his throat to be able to speak.

\- I am indeed losing my mind because of you. And you'd better say goodbye to your virginity, because I'm gonna rip it off you right about now.

And with those words he opened his trousers, pulled down his underwear and grabbed Alice in his arms. She made a surprised little yelp, feeling him against her, but it only aroused him more, and so he lifted her feet off the ground and pushed her back against the tree trunk. Holding her light weight on his arms, he found a way inside, and pushed deep with one, long thrust.

Alice screamed, and grabbed his shoulders, wrapped her thighs around his hips. But their minds were one, so he knew the scream wasn't of pain, it was of pleasure, and need, and so he didn't stop. Her body was so slender, like a little bird on his arms, the small gasps of pleasure that escaped from her lips merged into his groans. His heart was beating like it was trying to find a way out of his chest, and he felt the rapid rhythm of Alice's heartbeat under her skin, in her lips, in their tongues that found each other in their kiss.

The sensation of their contact, both physical and mental, almost ripped him apart, and for a moment, he could not tell if they were two separate people, or just one. Two halves of a one person, finally brought together again. And so he began to move inside of her, like it was the nature itself that moved him.

* * *

So, this is how it felt to make love.

Not just to have sex, but to really make _love_ to a woman.

The feeling took his breath away, made his chest feel hollow, and veins like they were filled with lava.

They were still on the strange forest, laying on the grass, side by side, holding hands. Her fingers played with his, and he could still read every thought that emerged in her mind. His own mind felt oddly foggy, like he was high on some unknown drug, a drug called Alice, and he felt her essence pulsing in his bloodstream.

There was moon in her eyes, and her cheeks were rosy, and Charles wanted nothing more than to stay here forever, and ever, on this place where only the two of them existed, and everything they wanted became real.

\- We have to go back, Charles. said Alice silently, straight into his mind.

\- Why? he spoke out loud, even if he already knew the answer.

Their bodies were still on the balcony, he with his useless legs in the wheelchair, Alice with all her injuries, probably freezing on her too thin hospital gown.

\- I'm liking this place better than the real one, he muttered, and pulled Alice to another kiss.

\- This one is real too. It's not any less real than the other world, just because we don't have our bodies here, said Alice, pushing herself away from the kiss. Or do you think it wasn't real what we just did?

\- Oh, it most definitely was real, moaned Charles. And I'm ready to do it again if you are.

\- Charles, she whispered, and suddenly there was a hint of sadness in her mind and her voice. We really, really have to go back. I have no idea what's going to happen if we stay here too long.

And with that, she pulled away from him, cutting off their contact, and Charles fell, into the abyss.


	18. Issues, more issues!

Alice made a phone call that night, before getting to bed.

She felt shaken to her bones, too excited to even try to sleep, and the thoughts of the things they had done, kept buzzing in her head like bees.

I have to talk to someone, or I'll go crazy! she thought. But to whom could she talk to? There was no one here, she knew. Only Raven, but that would be too weird, for she was Charles' sister. There was no way she could tell her they'd had sex.

So she picked up the phone and dialed Leonore's number.

It was late, but no one picked up the phone, even if Alice kept trying a long time.

She must be doing the night shift, she thought, and dialed the coffee house's number instead. And truly, after only a few seconds, Leonore picked up the phone.

\- The Coffee Fox, Leonore speaking, how can I help you?

Alice could hear the noise on the background. Oh great, it was a busy night.

\- Hey, it's Alice. I really need to talk to you, do you have a moment.

\- Oh hey, honey! This is a really bad time, I'll give you a call in half an hour, alright?

And so Alice waited, laying on her bed, going through the events of this evening in her head. Her body felt very tired now, and she felt aches in the wounds she had already considered healed. She had a headache, but she tried not to care. No more painkillers today, doctors orders.

Had this been wise after all? Letting Charles near her again?

What had gotten in her, that she had told Charles all those things, on the balcony? Alice was nervous. She had never shared all that information with anyone before, and it made her feel insecure, scared even. But then again, she had done many things tonight, she had never done before. And most of them had been amazing.

She could still feel in her body the way Charles had picked her up, and thrust against the tree trunk, coming inside of her just like that. Like he had waited for it for too long, and was unable to stop.

Alice shivered from head to toe, remembering the feeling of Charles holding her, making love to her. Oh, she wanted to do it again! She wanted it so much, it was scary. It was frightening to lose control like this, after being in control of every little thing in your life for a very long time.

Finally the phone rang, and she answered immediately.

\- So, tell me, what's the emergency? asked Leonore, still with a noisy coffee shop on the background.

\- You're still working? Alice asked, disappointed. She had hoped Leonore would be home by now.

\- We can't all live in a mansion and not pay anything for it. But yeah, still working. A horrible night! You can't believe who came back here! Take a guess.

\- I don't know, tell me.

\- Stinky Arnold! Can you believe it? And he was even stinkier than before. I had to ask Leo to throw him out, he just would not leave! And then-

\- Oh cut it with Stinky Arnold, already, Leonore! Alice snapped. Something amazing happened, and I really, really need to talk to you about it!

There was a moment's silence.

\- Amazing? Does it involve the Lord of the Castle?

Despite her fatigue, Alice could not help but to giggle, like a teenager in love.

\- Oh Leonore, yes. And he was incredible. It was mind blowing!

\- You've had sex! Leonore laughed. That's great! About time, though.

\- Oh. My. God. Now I finally understand why you've been going on about it.

\- So, tell me all. Leonore said and Alice could hear she was about to burst with curiosity. - How did the Disabled Hero managed?

\- Again, not going to go to the details, but Leonore… I had never done it before. You know, I've never been able to touch anyone, so…

\- So it was your first time? Leonore gasped. Wow. Well, about damn time! I'm so happy for you! I hope it was good?

\- Perfect. Just perfect.

\- I told you paralyzed men can do it just fine, remember? I was right, of course.

Alice remembered, how could she not? It was a million years ago, in the coffee house when Charles had just taken an interest on her, and she had no idea of all the things that would happen because of it.

She brushed off the thought, and returned to the moment. It was painfully embarrassing, to discuss this, but she knew she had to share.

\- Mmmm, it was more like a mind thing.

\- A mind thing?

\- Like, we didn't really use our bodies, Alice muttered and felt her cheeks burning.

\- Say what? You had sex? Without your bodies? What, are you still physically a virgin now?

\- I don't know! That's why I called you, to figure this out. Does the sex count if we only did it in our minds?

\- How the hell should I know? Leonore asked. This is waaaay out of my area of expertize. I'm afraid this is something you're going to have to figure out with Charles, honey. Anyway, I have to get back to work now. Sorry, Alice, but it really is a busy night here.

\- It's allright. Alice said, but could not help but to feel disappointed. Just stop by someday, will you? And stay clear of Stinky Arnold!

\- I promise. And hey, I am happy for you! It's great that you're having sex with the Brainy Dude. Really.

\- Alright, thanks. See you.

With that she hung up. Yes, she felt disappointed that Leonore hadn't been able to ease her restless thoughts, but then again, she was feeling very tired indeed. All the excitement, and arousel had now left her, and in fact she felt exhausted. She felt drained, like some part of her life force had been lost.

I wonder if this is how everybody feels after sex, she thought to herself. How should I know? I should've asked Leonore.

But the thought was lost, as Alice fell to the bed and fainted.

* * *

Charles woke up, still tasting her kisses on his lips.

Still feeling her soft skin on his palms.

Her thighs around his hips.

It all came back to him in a heartbeat. The way they had kissed, how he had breathed the air of her small gasps, and pulled up her skirt. Thrust her against the tree, and pushed deep, inside of Alice.

Oh God, what an ass he had been! A woman had told him she was a virgin, and what had he done? Thrust inside of her, just like that, like some barbarian.

He felt ashamed now, of his behavior. Yes, he liked it rough, but this hadn't been rough, this had been rude. Alright, Alice had liked it. Actually, more than liked it. But still, he knew he could do so much better. At least he had been able to do so much better before he got into this damn chair. It was so long now, since the last time, that he suddenly felt insecure.

Next time I'm going to take it slow, he made a mental note. Next time I'm going to make her feel the kinds of pleasure she hasn't even known possible.

Next time.

He didn't know how he could wait for the next time.

That thought made him shake his head, and sat up. He needed to get this heat out of his body. He needed a very long, and very cold shower to get through this day.

But at the breakfast table he was still light headed, and felt this odd, bubbling sensation that made him want to smile to everybody, and everything, like a loonatic.

He kept grinning to his coffee mug, as Alex Summers took a seat in front of him.

\- You've got the smile of a man, who got laid last night.

\- Oh, come on Alex! Is that the way to start a conversation?

\- Hey, just stating the obvious, Alex said shrugging. So, care to tell me what happened to bring that grin on your face?

For a moment Charles considered to tell Alex to go to hell. But he felt light headed and happy, like he was drunk, still drunk on Alice, and he could not help but to smile, and say:

\- Alice and me, we had a… moment.

\- A moment? Alex raised an eyebrow. Must have been a Hell of a moment, then.

\- It might have included some kissing.

\- Alright! Now you're talking!

\- And perhaps something more too. But that's all I'm going to say about the matter.

They were both laughing now, but Charles meant what he said. He was not going to kiss and tell, it was not classy. And for heaven's sake, Alice was practically a princess, so he should at least try to be a gentleman.

\- Ok, you don't have to say it, but I will. Alex noted. You've had sex, and I'd be blind not to notice.

\- Oh come on, how can you tell? Am I not supposed to be the telepath here?

\- I don't need any special powers to get this. You've been moping around looking absolutely miserable for the past few months, and now suddenly you're grinning to your coffee like a maniac. So, it was good?

\- Alex, I'm not going to give you any details.

\- But hey, I am a bit curious. No offense, but you are in a wheelchair, and she is still in hospital bed. How does that work out, really?

\- By God, if you don't stop prying, I'll have to delete this conversation from your mind. And that's not a threat, that's a promise, Alex.

But luckily just then Hank McCoy stepped into the kitchen, and noticing them, walked straight to them, and took a seat.

\- What are you two chatting about? he asked.

\- Nothing, said Charles.

\- Sex, said Alex.

\- Wait, what? asked Hank. Is there something I should know, as a doctor I mean?

\- Charles got laid last night, smirked Alex. But he won't give me any details.

\- Is that true, Charles? Hank asked, in a way that was too serious for this conversation.

\- Alright, yes, it is true. But give me some peace, friends. What is this sudden interest on my sex life, anyway?

\- Charles, I've just seen Alice, and she's not doing well. I must say that as her doctor I am very concerned to hear this.

\- I'm sorry, what? Charles felt a cold fear suddenly emerging, grabbing his heart. I can assure you, that no harm was done to her physics last night. We barely touched!

\- I don't even want to know, what you're hinting, noted Alex. That sounds weird.

\- Nobody asked for your opinion, snapped Charles. Now Hank, tell me. What's wrong with her?

\- I think you should come and see for yourself.

And suddenly all the heat he had felt, left his body, only to be replaced by a strange feeling that get caught in his throat. He felt the freezing, ice cold dread being born, trying to crawl it's way out of his chest with claws of steel.

He had been an idiot.

If the things he had done to her, had indeed hurt Alice, there was no way he could ever forgive himself.


	19. Blood and snow

Alice sat on the bed, and stared at her hands in silence.

They were bandaged again, but slowly, steadily, bright red blood was oozing through the bandages. On her fingertips, big red stains grew.

Red, like roses. Roses on white snow.

What a way to wake up, to notice your fingernails were falling off.

To Hell with this, she thought. I am happy for a one night, and all the demons of my past come back to get me.

The door opened, and she looked up from her hands, only to see Hank returning, this time with Charles.

Charles, with his crystal blue eyes, his wavy hair, and that super concerned look on his face. Seeing him now took her breath away, and suddenly her body, despite the pain, remembered all the ways he had touched her last night.

\- What's going on, Alice? Charles asked. Hank tells me, something's wrong.

\- Hank's just making a big deal out of nothing, sighed Alice and rolled her eyes. I'm just a bit tired, that's all.

\- Alice, just tell him, Said Hank, He needs to know.

She really didn't want to do that. He would only freak out, she knew, for she could already sense his thoughts in the air, and they were all about being worried sick for her. And all she wanted was, that he could see her like she had been last night, in the forest, with moon in her eyes.

\- Charles, it's nothing really. My injuries, they just seem to be a bit worse today, than yesterday. But I'm sure it's nothing serious. Too little sleep, probably.

\- I am a doctor, and I know for sure, that too little sleep does not make people's fingernails to fall off, snapped Hank. Or their wounds to reopen.

\- Hey, what about my rights for privacy? asked Alice. What's this all about, telling him my personal medical records?

\- What are you talking about, wounds reopening? asked Charles from Hank, as if Alice had not spoken at all.

God, he was annoying when he was this patronizing! Had Alice not been this tired, she would have exploded to both of them.

\- Alice, just show him, plead Hank. He deserves to know.

\- Oh, alright, she sighed.

Reluctantly Alice did as she was told. She turned so that Charles could see the back of her head.

\- Take a look at this, Charles, said Hank. I was about to remove the bandages today, for it had been two weeks, and the wounds had healed very well. But when I got here this morning… there was blood all over. I've changed the bandages now, but you see?

\- Yes, I see.

Alice heard Charles' voice, it was dead serious now, and cold as ice, and it broke her heart. She had never wanted for him to see her like this! She knew what he saw, bright red blood oozing from the wounds, tainting the clear, white bandages in a brutal way.

\- So I cannot but to think, that this has something to do what… you did last night. Hank said, and Alice felt his reluctance to talk about the matter, but he went on anyways.

\- In science there are no coincidences. You two were intimate last night, and now Alice, you're doing this much worse. There is a connection, no matter how much I hope there wasn't.

\- So, what do you think is causing this? asked Charles

\- I'm not sure… Alice, tell me: what exactly happens to people, who touch your skin for too long?

That was the last thing she wanted to think about, but now there was no choice. The look on Hank's face was so concerned, so hard, that she had to do as she was told.

\- They die, she whispered. They lose their mind, and then they die.

\- But how, Alice? What are the physical effects?

She closed her eyes.

There was a field of snow in front of her. She was standing there again, on the garden that had been covered with fresh snow that night. The snow shimmered like it was made of diamonds, and her breath came out vaporized. And then there was blood, red like rubies. There was blood coming from his nose, his beautiful mouth, oh, he was choking now, and the blood flooded his eyes, and it dropped on the bright snow, tainting it, tainting everything, including her soul forever.

Alice opened her eyes, and looked at Hank, with a storm in her heart.

\- They bleed a lot, if that's what you're asking.

Hank looked down, and cleared his throat.

\- That confirms what I suspected, he said in a low voice.

\- And what is that? asked Charles.

\- Well, it seems that Alice has a mind so strong, that normal people just can't take it. If they touch her, their body and mind collapse. But you Charles, you have a mind stronger than anyone I've ever heard of.

\- Even stronger than mine, whispered Alice. And that's why you're not affected.

\- But you are, said Charles silently. My mind reflects your powers, and so they attack your own system.

\- Yes, that is what I think is happening here, said Hank.

But Alice had already known it in her heart, and it was almost more than she could bear. She felt Charles' thoughts in the air, the remorse, the disbelief, and it made her want to cry.

\- You should've told me right away, Alice. Right when you noticed this was going on, Charles said.

\- Well, I'm sorry, perhaps I was just too busy lying here fainted and bleeding to death, she snapped.

\- Did this start last night? After I left?

Alice shrugged, and looked away.

\- It might have.

\- Oh, Alice! Charles moaned, and Alice felt his heart breaking.

There was moment of silence, and none of them wanted to say what they all knew should be said. That this was the end. This had to be. Alice felt it in her guts, the familiar feeling of fear, of pure terror, and it brought an acidic taste to her lips.

How could she bear it this time?

Having to leave everything?

To leave Charles?

But then his voice cut through her cycle of self pity, and there was so much love and gentleness in it, that Alice gasped.

\- Alice, please, do not push me away, he said. You are not alone. We are in this together.

She looked up to his eyes, his gorgeous eyes, and they had an ocean of sadness in them. She wanted to let him in, she wanted for him to see her as she was, all her sins and all her demons, but God, it was difficult!

She wanted him to know nothing of the field of snow and blood.

\- Hank, would you please leave us? Alice said, looking at her friend and doctor.

\- Alright, Hank nodded. But no touching! Doctor's orders: no touching of any kind, at least not before you are fully healed.

And when he left, he gave a very stern look to Charles, which made him roll his eyes.

\- I heard you the first time, Hank!

* * *

They were alone now, alone in the room that was quiet as a grave.

Charles looked at Alice, and seeing her like that was enough to make something get caught in his throat. He felt like he was choking, it was almost impossible to speak, as the guilt burnt his soul.

How happy he had been this morning, only waiting for the next time they would make love.

Would there be a next time now? No, if it meant this to Alice. He would never touch her again, if this was the price to pay for his pleasure.

\- I'm so sorry, he finally said. I'm so sorry I caused this to you.

\- Don't do this Charles, Alice said, looking away from him.

\- Do what?

\- Try to put this all on you. You heard Hank. This is my fault. This is my curse, and not of your doings.

It was late morning now, past 10 am. The sun was already high up, and it's golden light fell into the room, on Alice, and made her look even paler than last night. It was only now, that Charles noticed the dark circles under her eyes, the sunken cheeks. It was as if the two weeks she had been here, hadn't happened at all. She looked the same she had the morning he had laid beside her on this bed.

Charles pushed his chair closer, and moved to sit on the bed. He was so close to her now, feeling the warmth of the bed, her familiar scent of roses in the air. He felt his mouth watering from desire to kiss her, but quickly pushed the thought away.

\- Don't touch me Charles, she whispered. I can't take it now.

\- I won't. Please, don't be scared of me. I'm not going to hurt you.

\- I know. Alice sighed, and looked up to his eyes. It's just… I want it so much. A part of me wants it even now, knowing it would probably kill me. For what would be a sweeter way to die, than in your arms, Charles?

\- Don't talk like that, he said with a husky voice, You are not going to die, not like this.

\- But you promised, Charles.

\- Promised you what?

\- That you would make love to me a thousand times, and I've only had you once.

Charles gulped. He looked deep into her forest green eyes, that had so much sadness and longing in them, that it cut through his heart. He remembered, of course he did, the way he had held her in his arms on that dream, her naked body shivering against his chest, her feverish gaze wandering around that concrete cell.

\- Alice, darling, I want nothing more than to keep that promise, he said, his voice shaking. And I swear to God, we will find a way to touch each other again. I've never had it as sweet as last night, and there is no way I'm going to give that up.

\- Always the optimist, said Alice, and there was mockery in her voice.

\- Well, someone has to be.

But deep inside he felt all his hopes and dreams shattering, turning to bits like broken glass.


	20. Wuthering Heights

**Thank you again Lovestory2055 and Lily, my most loyal readers. Your reviews make me want to go on writing this story. Enjoy this new chapter, it is dedicated to you guys.**

* * *

The next week was difficult.

Alice still couldn't (or wouldn't?) leave her room, and Charles barely saw her. It was all happening again, she was pushing him away, not letting him near. Like the things they had shared had not happened at all.

But who could blame her?

For it had happened, and he had hurt Alice. Not meaning to do so, but nevertheless, his touch had hurt her, made her suffer.

Charles kept blaming himself, no matter what Hank, Alex or Raven told him. He should have waited, at least until she had been properly healed. He should have made sure, her touch was not dangerous to either one of them.

Yes, they had touched once before. On their first date. But then, their touch had only lasted for a minute or so, he had only stolen one kiss from her sweet lips. And she had been tired after that, he remembered now. She had been fatigued, drained, quiet, only asking for him to take her home.

How could have he been so dumb, not being able to see the symptoms for what they had been? His own mind had been protecting his useless body from Alice, attacking her instead.

The thought made him sick.

He would not accept that his was how things were. There had to be a way for the two of them to be together, to really be together, and by God, he would find it.

* * *

Every day he went to see Alice, but she was distant and quite. They didn't talk much, she asked for some new books, and disappeared on the balcony with them, politely asking for Charles to leave her to rest.

But Hank told him, that physically Alice was doing better. The wounds had closed, and the bleeding had stopped, which was great of course. And one night, six days after the incident Charles noticed, Hank had removed the bandages from Alice's head and most fingers.

It was a night that had the feeling of nearing fall in the air. The wind had turned cold, and trees had begun to shed their leaves, that were showing all shades of yellow and red. It was raining outside, a heavy fall rain, that drummed the windows and turned driveways to mud. A night, when nobody wanted to go out, the end of summer. The mansion felt cozy and warm on such an evening, and they had lit fires on the fireplaces.

It was late already, when Charles headed for the library, to seek solitude, for he needed to think.

But as he opened the door, and pushed his chair inside, he noticed that someone was already there.

A slender figure, wrapped in a blanket, sat on a big, leathery armchair, reading a book that was so big it made her look even smaller, her feet resting on a footstool near the fire. Charles' heart jumped. This was the first time Alice had left her room, in all the three weeks she had been here.

As she heard the door opening, she looked up from the book. Charles noticed how her cheeks blushed as she saw him.

\- So, you found my secret lair, he noted.

\- It's hardly a secret that there is a library in a school, Alice said. My room was cold, and I heard there was a fireplace down here.

\- Who told you that?

\- Raven. She was kind enough to show me the way here, when I asked her if I could fetch a new book from somewhere.

Charles smiled.

That wicked Raven. It was hardly a coincidence she had lead Alice here, in his private library, and not the big one that was open to everyone, including the students. Raven knew all too well that he had a habit coming here on nights like this.

\- So, you're getting along with Raven? I'm glad to hear that.

\- Oh yes, Charles. She is amazing, truly.

\- She is. I am lucky to have her as my sister, said Charles, and moved his chair closer to the fire.

He looked at Alice in silence for a moment. The golden light of the fire made her skin shimmer, it played on her cheekbones and laid dark shadows under them, under her collar bones that were visible from her neckline.

She wasn't wearing a hospital gown anymore, but a comfortable pair of loose fitting jeans and a blouse, under the blanket. There were no bandage in her head anymore, and Charles could see the two scars on the back of her head, still red and clearly visible, but they would soon disappear under her growing hair.

The dark stubble that grew on her head, was already resembling hair. In a few months she would have a cute, short haircut, that Charles knew would look awesome on her, even if he did miss her long curls.

\- You look good, Alice. I'm glad to see you're doing better.

\- Thank you. She glanced up from the book, gave him a small, shy smile, and then looked back down.

\- What are you reading? he asked.

\- Wuthering Heights.

\- Oh, what a novel you picked for a night like this! he could not help but to laugh.

\- It called to me, she whispered, glancing out of the window.

The rain was hard, and the wind made the windows to creak. Charles could not see out to the darkness, only their own pale, wide eyed reflections on the black glass.

\- I can see why, he said. And I get why you like it, even if it isn't one of my personal favorites.

\- What's there not to like, Charles? asked Alice, suddenly showing interest for the first time.

\- It is very grim, don't you think? From beginning to the end, not exactly full of hope.

\- Perhaps that is exactly why I like it so much. And I love it, because every time you read it, you get something new out of it. At first, you think it is a love story, an adaptation of Romeo and Juliet. But actually it is so much more, a tale about revenge, and past that keeps haunting people till they lose their mind.

\- And that's what happened to Heathcliff. He could not let go of his past, and so he ended up losing everything.

\- I don't know. Perhaps he wasn't crazy after all, like everyone thought he was, Alice said, looking into the fire, Perhaps he really did see the ghost of Cathrine. Stranger things have happened. You know, If I died, and lost… the love of my life, I'd be back to haunt him for sure.

\- You're thoughts are on dark paths tonight, Alice, noted Charles.

He suddenly felt chilled, like some part of the cold autumn wind had entered the room, and blown through him. But Alice looked away from the fire, and met his eyes. There was a hint of smile in them, and her cheeks were rosy.

\- That's the way my thoughts are on most nights, Charles. Take it or leave it.

\- That's not a hard decision.

He looked at her, deep in the eye. In those beautiful, cat like, green eyes, with their dilated pupils that reflected the flames of the fireplace. Her lashes were long and dark, and the brows arched high. He felt his heart skipping a beat, as the almost uncontrollable need to reach out to her, to kiss her lips, washed over him.

Alice must've caught his moods, as her cheeks flushed red, and she quickly looked away. There was a small, awkward silence between them, that made Charles anxious. This was the first time they really talked, since she had told the story of her past in the balcony, and he desperately did not want this to end.

\- So, who is your favorite character in Wuthering Heights? he asked, just to make conversation.

\- My favourite character? There can't be one. They are all so horrible.

\- What do you mean, horrible? he laughed.

\- They are so incomplete, so broken, so damaged. The way they all treat each other, it's just heartbreaking. They are so haunted by their past, by the ways they were wronged, that it has twisted their nature. But still, you cannot hate them. They are so human in all their pain, their longing and despair.

\- That is what makes the story so interesting: the flaws of human nature. Had they been able to forgive and forget, their wouldn't be a novel at all. The greatest classics are made of all shades of human emotion. Charles noted.

Alice made a small laugh.

\- So, tell me Professor, she mocked, what is the lesson in Wuthering Heights? Learning to let go of your past, and forgive?

\- No, said Charles, It is that true love lasts a lifetime.

\- And into the afterlife, she whispered.

Suddenly her eyes were dark, her breathing shallow, and Charles could feel her desire like electricity in the air. Slowly she raised her hand, her fragile, damaged hand, and brought it near to his face. Almost touching, but not quite, she followed the line of his cheek, his jaw, down to his neck. Very cautiously she laid her hand on his chest, on his sweater. They weren't touching skin to skin, but still he felt the warmth of her touch through his sweater, the familiar tug inside of him, that wanted to pull him under, to pull him into their own, secret world. Suddenly he felt so aroused, it was hard to speak.

\- Alice, no, he breathed. You shouldn't touch me.

\- But I want to, she whispered, and let her hand linger on his chest.

The sadness that shaded her face was almost more than Charles could take, and he had to look away.

This was not fair.

He wanted to grab her delicate shoulders, and pull her near, to kiss those beautiful lips and taste the air she breathed. He wanted to hear her sigh with desire, when he grabbed her waist, he needed her hands on his skin like he needed the oxygen he breathed.

It took all he had, not do as he yearned, and to move away from her.

For a long time neither of them said nothing.

The silence lingered in the room, just waiting for him to give in, and go back to her. Charles looked at the raindrops making their way on the window glass, through his own reflection, pale, dark eyed, unshaven.

For a long time now, he had only lived to give, lived for other people. To help them, to gather them together, to lead them. He hadn't wished many things for himself, and he had been satisfied with it.

But now, it has all changed.

He wanted Alice, and he wanted her for himself in a way that left him breathless. This one thing he wanted for himself, and that he could not have.

He wanted to smash his fist through the glass, through his own face.

But Alice's voice interrupted his thoughts.

\- Charles, what is this? Why is my photo album here?

He turned around, to see that Alice had left her chair and walked to the other end of the room. To a small desk he sometimes used to work, when he didn't want to be in his office. There was indeed Alice's photo album on it, and she had picked it up, giving him a look that had a mix of bafflement and anger.

Charles cursed in his mind. He should have returned the items weeks ago, but somehow the time had never seemed right. He neared her, and reached to open a drawer, to pull out a pile of books and other documents.

\- I'm sorry, Alice. I should have given these to you weeks ago, but somehow I didn't have the courage… but here, take. These are all yours.

\- My diary, Alice turned pale, and grabbed the leather covered notebook. You read my diary?

\- Yes. And I am truly sorry for that. I only did it to see, if there was anything that might help to find you.

Alice didn't answer. Her face was pale, but scarlet spots of anger burned on her cheeks. She looked at Charles, her eyes storming.

\- You had no right to do that, Charles.

\- I am well aware of that, and I do apologize.

\- My most private thoughts! They were meant for me only! Tell me, who else did you show this to? Who else read it?

Charles bit his lip.

He knew he was throwing Leonore to the lion's lair, but then again, if he lied to Alice now, she'd only find out later.

\- Leonore found it, and gave it to me. I presume she has browsed through it.

\- I'm not surprised she read it, curiosity is her middle name. But you Charles! I expected more from you.

There was utter disappointment in her voice, and it brought a bitter taste to his mouth. He felt almost angered, answering:

\- How can you say that, Alice? You have no idea what it was like, when you were gone. I could not sleep. I could not eat. No matter what I did, I could not find you! I was desperate, and ready to turn every rock there was to turn. And I would do it all over again, if I had to.

\- But it didn't help you to find me, did it.

\- No, but I could hardly know that, could I?

\- You should have. Everybody knows, diaries are full of shit! You violated my privacy in the worst way, and for what? What did you gain from it?

\- Love, he said, and felt tears in his eyes. It made me love you even more.

\- Oh, Charles. Alice breathed and looked away. How am I supposed to stay mad at you, when you say things like that to me?

\- Well, perhaps you aren't supposed to stay mad at me, he suggested.

\- You're not getting out of this just by looking at me with your puppy eyes, and citing lines from a romance novel, she snapped.

Puppy eyes, she had said, and it amused Charles. Mr Bed-me-eyes, as she had called him in her diary. The thought made Charles smile to himself, for he knew all too well that women had hard time resisting the look of his big, clear blue eyes. It wasn't one or two ladies he had swooped off their feet, just with a few glances.

But of course, with Alice everything was different. He could watch her with his puppy eyes till the end of days, and still they could not touch.

\- Alright, I am sorry, Alice. What else can I say? Please, just tell me what I can do to make you forgive me.

\- You can take me out for dinner, she said out of the blue.

\- A dinner? he was mesmerized. You want to go out?

\- As much as it might surprise you, I do not enjoy being a prisoner, no matter how golden the cage might be. It would be a pleasure to go out, and I doubt you would let me go without your company.

He hesitated for a moment, but decided honesty was the best approach.

\- You are correct. I would not like to see you leave this house, at least not without myself or Hank to accompany you. It is not safe. But I will not keep you here against your will either, the choice is yours.

She gave him a sideways glance, and sighed on a way that told Charles they would no doubt return to this conversation later.

\- Back to my original question, Charles. Would you take me out for dinner?

Her form was very delicate, almost too thin still, and her jeans and blouse seemed baggy on her. But Charles had never seen her more beautiful, the light of the fireplace forming a halo around her, she seemed almost like a creature from another world. It cut his breath away.

\- Of course I will, if only you feel up to it. The weather is quite horrible.

\- I asked Hank, if I could go out, and he gave a doctor's permission. You have some place nice on your mind?

\- Oh, a perfect one, he said and let a smile light up his face.


	21. My own reward

" _So when you let me in,_

 _You let me justify my own reward._

 _You put your hands on me,_

 _and I will learn the words, I didn't know before."_

 _\- Katatonia_

* * *

\- So, which one would you choose, Edgar Linton or Heathcliff? Charles asked.

They were sitting on the table of the same Italian restaurant he had taken Leonore once. The storm was still raging outside, but inside it was cozy and warm. They had dined very well indeed, and even if Alice had not eaten much, she had enjoyed every course, and especially the different wines they had tasted.

Now that Alice gazed at her, laughing at his question, Charles could tell that she was a bit tipsy. This was interesting, for he had not seen her like this before.

\- That's like asking to pick between Rhett Butler and Ashley Wilkes, or Levin and Vronsky, Alice laughed.

\- So, it is a hard choice?

\- It changes by the day, Charles. And by my age. When I was fifteen, I would've gone for Heathcliff, but now? Edgar Linton isn't that bad. Is it wrong to want safety, something enduring? Unearned love?

\- All love is unearned, is it not? Charles mused.

Alice sipped her wine, and took a spoonful of her tiramisu.

\- True. So, which one are you, Charles? Are you Rhett or Ashley? Vronsky or Levin? Heathcliff or Linton?

\- Can't I be both?

\- I think that you are, indeed, she giggled. Vronsky's passion and Levin's manners in one man. And that's exactly why I…. like you so much, Charles.

I like you, she said.

The words cut Charles' heart, for she still had not said the word love. How many times had he said that he loved her? And she still wouldn't, not after everything, not even if Charles had felt it in her mind when they had touched.

So, he was Levin, of course. For Vronsky would have pushed away the plates and the silverware, the flowers and the candles, and taken her on this table right now. And Alice would have breathed the words of love in his ear. But Levin, he sat quietly and waited, constantly, never giving up hope.

She looked at Alice, her swan like neck, her high cheekbones, her proud posture that made her look regal. She had changed into a burgundy dress, that revealed her collarbones and shoulders, and the deep color made her skin look like ivory. She had wrapped a scarf of same colour to her head, like a turban, to hide the stubble, and it gave her an exotic look, like she was a princess from the 'Tales from a Thousand and One Nights'.

\- And you, Alice? Are you Melanie or Scarlett? Kitty or Anna?

\- You know it is not so simple. We are real people, Charles, not characters. You can't simplify a person like that.

\- This isn't fair, Alice. You asked the same from me just a minute ago.

\- And you didn't give me a straight answer either, Professor! she mocked, You tell me, which one am I? For you have touched my mind, and therefore you should know.

Charles gazed at Alice's eyes, which had candle light and too much wine in them, and sighed.

He remembered the first times she had seen Alice in the coffee house, and tried to talk to her. She had been so shy, so quiet! And she still had that side that searched for solitude and kept her distance to other people. But the more he learned to know her, the more he begun to suspect there was a Scarlett hidden inside of Alice. She had that flaming spark of life and passion, he had tasted on the forest of their minds.

\- You are Scarlett, my dear. Aren't you?

\- Scarlett, wishing she was Melanie, Alice laughed. I'm in between, as are you Charles. Prisoners of our status, manners and upbringing, holding back our instincts and needs.

\- You know I would not hold them back, if I didn't have to, he said and felt his voice had turned husky.

\- Charles… she pleaded and hid her eyes by looking down.

She didn't have to say it out loud, he knew what she meant.

Let's not go there.

Let's not talk about it, for there is nothing we can do to change it.

But Charles was not going to accept this was how the things were. By God, they were both telepahts! If they could not touch for real, there was always the next best thing.

\- Do you trust me Alice? he asked.

\- With my life.

\- Good. For I have a plan. I want us to try something.

\- What is it? she asked, and and he heard the suspicion in her voice.

\- You said you trusted me, now have faith.

\- I'm not an optimist by nature, Charles. My nature is to doubt, to be scared.

\- I won't let anything happen to you, you know that, he reassured.

\- Alright, Charles. What do you want me to do?

\- I need you to let me in.

\- In, like… in my mind?

\- Yes. Let down your guard, and let me in, Alice. I know you have secrets you don't want to tell me, and it is fine. I promise, I won't pry, I won't go digging in the dark corners. I just need you to let me touch your mind.

\- You promise? Not to spy? her voice was still edgy, and there was fear in her eyes.

\- I promise. Besides, you are strong enough to kick me out anytime. Now, just look into my eyes, and let me in.

He placed his fingers to his temple, and concentrated. He felt his thought surrounding hers, and gently pushed the wall, she had built to protect her mind, but it didn't give in.

\- Just relax, he whispered. I'm not going to hurt you.

He saw, how Alice closed her eyes, and breathed out.

Slowly he began to sense how she stopped blocking him, and let him in.

And there he was, in her head now. She gasped, as she felt his feelings, his love, his desire, but Charles didn't bother to hide them.

He was curious, for he sensed the secrets she was keeping, like there was a basement with a locked door in her mind, and he felt drawn to that door. But a promise was a promise, he looked away from her secrets and concentrated.

He sent an image to her mind.

He didn't want to be Ashely now, he wanted to be Rhett. And thus, he sent the image of what he wanted to do with her, if only they could.

She was standing naked in his arms, and he was kissing her. His breath was on her lips, his hands on her hair. He was pulling her near, and her uncovered breasts brushed against his shirt.

Charles heard as Alice breathed in sharply.

His thoughts lit a fire inside of her, he knew, a fire they both had in vain tried to suppress.

And now he knelt before her, pressed his face to the bare skin of her abdomen. His lips nibbled her skin gently, he moved his hands to caress her sharp hipbones, and kissed her navel - with his tongue. His lips were hot on her cool skin, as he sucked her navel, and he let her feel his desire, pressing his palms tight on the skin of her hips.

He moaned, and the air he breathed brushed her skin.

Downwards, he let his lips taste her skin, his kisses wandered slowly downwards.

And then, his tongue was there.

\- Oh! Alice gasped, and opened her eyes.

She pushed Charles away from her mind in a heartbeat, and he winced.

\- Charles! You shouldn't have, she breathed.

Alice's cheeks were burning, and she looked down, to her empty plate. Her hands still shaky she picked up the glass of wine, and raised it to her lips.

\- I'm sorry, Alice. I scared you, he breathed.

His mouth was dry and voice husky, his heart beat like a bass drum.

\- No, it's alright. I'm alright. You just took me by surprise, that is.

She looked up to his eyes. She was aroused, he could tell, and it made him bold.

\- Alice, I have wanted to kiss you there, since I first laid my eyes on you.

She sipped her wine, no more like gulped it, and Charles saw her trembling.

\- I think we should leave, she said, her voice no more than a whisper.

\- I think so too, he said, and smiled.


	22. Limoncello

They were laying on the bed side by side, Charles shirtless, Alice in her underwear. They were not touching, but just looking at each other.

They had been swapping images from the moment they had returned home. Or more likely, Charles had been the one to send, for at first Alice had felt too shy to try, and now she was too drunk. She felt her abilities slipping away, when she drank too much.

But she didn't mind, not really. She liked to be the receiving party.

She let her gaze wander on Charles' body. He was laying there, shirtless, his bare chest heaving with deep breaths. He was only wearing his pants, and the uppermost button was opened on a very suggestive way.

\- You're beautiful like a young god, Charles, she sighed. I could just watch you all night.

\- I can think of many things I'd like to do to you all night long. I'm sure that you can come up with something more than watching too, and show that to me.

\- I can't sweetie, I've had too much of that limoncello, she giggled. My mind is all over the place.

\- Fine. I'll show you then, he laughed, and placed his fingers to his temple once more.

Alice bit her lip in excitement, but just then the phone rang.

\- Don't answer, pleaded Charles. It's 01 am, Alice, who's gonna call you at this hour anyways?

\- Take a guess, Alice rolled her eyes.

She stood up and picked the phone. She knew from experience, that Leonore didn't give up if she had decided to talk to her.

\- Alice, I've been trying to call you all night, where have you been?

\- Leonore. This really isn't a good time.

Alice stood by the desk, holding the phone. Her eyes were still in Charles, who was laying on the bed, looking at her half naked form.

"Hang up!" he sent to her mind. "Tell her you'll call back tomorrow."

She turned her back to Charles, and looked out of the window. A little devil arouse inside of her, and she reached for her bra, opened it and let it fall to the floor. She heard how Charles groaned on the bed.

\- Not a good time? So, you're either sleeping, or with him, and I'm suspecting the latter one, Leonore stated, totally unaware of what was going on in the room.

\- We had dinner, Alice answered shortly.

\- So I heard, he took you out and all. I heard you looked really pretty.

\- Who told you that?

\- Hank. I called him when you didn't answer. So, you put on that burgundy dress, didn't you? How did Charles like it?

\- Leonore, really. I can't discuss this right now, Alice rolled her eyes and sighed.

Charles was interrupting her again. "You look damn gorgeous, Alice. Too bad you're facing the wall and not me."

\- Oh, shut up, honey Alice giggled.

\- Say again? said Leonore.

\- I wasn't talking to you! I was talking to Charles.

\- So he is with you? I knew it. What are you doing, I hope not touching. You remember what happened the last time, don't you?

\- It wasn't that bad, I'm all better now, Leonore.

She took a look at Charles, and his eyes made her knees go week.

\- You sound weird. Are you drunk Alice? asked Leonore, suddenly more serious.

\- I might be, a little tipsy.

\- That's not good. You're not letting him touch you, are you?

\- Take it easy, Leonore. He hasn't even tried.

\- Good. You are my best friend, and I'm not willing to lose you because some mister can't keep his hands to himself. I promise I'll personally strangle him, if he hurts you again.

\- Leonore, please. It wasn't his fault.

Alice rolled her eyes. She hated it when Leonore was overprotective.

\- So you say, Leonore stated. I know it sucks, but you'll have to stay strong. Don't do anything stupid, alright?

\- I won't do anything you wouldn't do, she laughed.

\- Hey! Leonore tried, but Alice hung up.

She turned back to Charles, who was now admiring her naked breasts, with a look that told Alice exactly what he wanted to do with them.

Slowly she walked back to the bed. Yes, she was drunk, but she was also drunk on him, and she wanted to drink the kisses from his lips.

Why would he not understand, that she'd rather die, than lived without his touch?

Suddenly bold, and determinate, she sat on the bed, and kissed him.

He gasped, as he felt her lips on his, but after a heartbeat he desperately grabbed her shoulders, her neck, and pulled her into a deep, strong kiss that made her insides turn to lava.

Alice could feel the tug in her insides, trying to pull her and Charles to their mindplace, but it didn't happen. She could hardly even read his mind, even if they were definitely touching now.

\- What is this? he asked, pulling away from the kiss. Why aren't we…?

\- Falling to our world? she asked, I don't know. Perhaps it's because I'm drunk, Charles. Alcohol cuts off the edge of my abilities.

\- Oh, I should probably serve you limoncello for breakfast, every day from now on, he laughed.

\- There's a plan, she said and kissed him again.

His lips were hot, his mouth sweet and delicious. She sucked on his lower lip, and tasted the wine and lust on his tongue.

He was panting now, and groaning, he grabbed Alice's shoulders, only to push her away this time.

\- No, he said. Alice, don't! This is not safe.

\- See, we're still here, we are not in our mind place, and I'm totally fine.

\- For now. But we can't go on with this. You know that. I'll end up hurting you again, and I could not live with myself if I did.

\- Just look, Charles, I'm alright! No bleeding, see? She sat up, and showed him her hands.

\- You can't know it won't start later. I will not take that risk, Alice.

\- Come on, let's experiment, she said gently, and let her fingers follow the line of his jaw, to his full, gorgeous lips.

She placed another kiss to his longing mouth, and felt him trembling under her touch. Carefully she moved to sit on his lap, her thighs on both sides of his hips.

\- You are crazy! I will not experiment on your health, tried Charles, but his words were lost, as Alice pressed her hips closely against his, and he could not speak anymore.

He moaned desperately, and placed his hands on her waist, pulling her near. Alice bent down to kiss him, and felt the furious beat of his heart against her bosom.

\- Stop this, darling, breathed Charles, We've touched too long already.

\- I don't care, Alice moaned, and reached to to kiss the spot right under his ear.

She sucked on the skin of his neck, and licked his adam's apple, that nervously moved under his skin.

Her eager lips felt the blood pulsing in his veins.

\- Oh Lord, Alice! Have mercy on me, he moaned.

\- Why should I do that?

\- Because, soon I won't be able to ask you to stop anymore.

Suddenly his voice was so desperate and so serious, she sat up and looked him into the eye. His eyes were dark now, their pupils dilated, and on his cheeks red spots of lust were burning.

\- But I love you, Charles, she breathed. And I want you, now.

\- I know, he whispered gently. But I love you more, and I'm not going to let you hurt yourself because of me.

Carefully he raised his hand to her face, and wiped her nose with her thumb.

\- Look darling, he said, and Alice did.

There was a bright red stream of fresh blood on his hand. Alice felt shaken, hastily she brushed her face with the back of her hand. More blood, blood on her skin and the white bandages of her fingers.

The metallic taste of fear filled her mouth, and quickly she stood up on her shaky feet.

Blood, blood and snow, and roses.

She remembered how the blood had rushed from his nose before he had fallen to the snow, and she had screamed.

\- You should go, she said shakily, not looking at Charles.

He was silent now, searching for words, but Alice could not even look at him. Tears were burning in her throat. Soon they would burst out of her eyes, and she did not want Charles to see that.

\- Alice, you are hurt. I can't leave you alone, he said then, with a cool and calm voice, that enraged Alice.

\- I'm fine. It's nothing but a nosebleed, she snapped. I'll go to the bathroom now, and I expect you to leave before I return.

With those words she walked away from him, not looking back. She slammed the bathroom door, and grabbed a towel to wipe her face and hide the sounds of her crying.

When she returned to her bedroom 10 minutes later, the nosebleed had stopped. Charles' chair was gone and the bed was empty. The loneliness inside of her felt like an ocean, as she wrapped herself in her sheets and cried herself to sleep.


	23. Beauty and the Beast

\- Hank, can I talk to you for a while?

Hank McCoy looked up from the microscope, and noticed it was Charles on the door. He looked tired, with black circles under his eyes, and he had a worried look on his face. Hank felt immediately concerned.

\- Yes, of course. Come on in, what is it? he said.

\- Have you seen Alice this morning?

\- Yes, she is doing fine. How come?

\- Oh, thank God. Something happened last night, that I really need to talk to you.

\- As a friend, or as a doctor? asked Hank and switched off the microscope's lamp.

\- Both.

Hank listened silently as Charles told him what had happened the night before, after he had taken Alice out. Thank goodness, Charles did not go into the details, but still it was awkward enough, to hear him talking about their passion. Sending provocative images to each other's minds - who does that?

Hank was almost angry at Charles. He felt responsible of Alice, for he was her doctor as well, and she hadn't been the easiest of patients. It was crucial, that nothing interrupted with her recovery now, and what had Charles done? For a super genius, he was surprisingly foolish sometimes.

\- That was very stupid of you, Charles, Hank noted.

Charles sighed, and looked desperate.

\- It was just supposed to be some fun, like a foreplay without the real thing. I never thought it would lead to this!

\- So, let me get this straight, Hank said. You sent images to her mind, of you two making love, and you didn't think it would lead to her wanting to make love?

\- Yeah, when you put it like that, it does make me look stupid, doesn't it?

\- Yes, Charles. It does, and irresponsible. I told you, no touching, and not a week later, there is touching.

\- Hey, it is easier said than done, Hank. That's actually what I wanted to you talk about.

\- I kind of figured. So, tell me, what do you want me to do?

\- I want to know, if I started taking your serum again, would it be possible for me and Alice touch again?

There was a small silence. Hank looked down, to avoid Charles' gaze.

\- I strongly doubt it, he finally said. It would only suppress your powers, not hers. And then it would be you suffering of the effects of her abilities.

\- That's what I was afraid of.

\- Besides, Charles. You are an addict. You can't go back to using the serum, not ever again, if you don't want to end up like you were back then.

\- I know that, my friend. I'm just beginning to be desperate, it's like I'm losing my mind here. Is there anything you could do Hank, to make it possible for me to be with her? To really _be_ with her.

Charle's voice was desperate, and his huge, blue eyes seemed teary. Embarrassed to see all this emotion, Hank cleared his throat and looked away, again. He hesitated for a second or two, before answering.

\- There might be. Perhaps if I developed a serum like the one I made for you, to suppress her powers, then maybe…

\- That's out of the question, Hank. I don't want her to end up an addict as well, not because of this, not because of me. There must be another way, Hank.

\- Well then, I'll have to look into this. I'm not promising anything, Charles, but I will try.

\- Thank you, that's all I'm asking.

\- So… let's say that I can come up with something, Hank felt obligated to ask, Is there anything else you need a doctor's advice for? I mean… in the…. erm, the sex.

\- Hank, really? Charles asked, and Hank felt his cheeks burning.

\- I'm sorry Charles. It's just that, many paralyzed men have difficulties-

\- And some don't. Consider me lucky, for I can assure that there are no difficulties, snapped Charles. I'm perfectly functional in that area, thank you very much. And please, let me add, that this is a conversation that can only end in a gunshot.

\- Alright, I'm sorry. I'll just get to work then, Hank muttered and rolled his eyes.

* * *

Later that day Hank went to search for Alice.

He found her in the lobby, where Charles was teaching a group of teenagers. Alice quietly sat a bit further away, in a staircase, holding a book in her lap, but clearly not reading but listening to Charles.

Hank could not blame her, Charles was an excellent teacher. He had that fascination for everything, that was almost contagious, a curiosity that he passed away to all his students. For a moment Hank hesitated, he didn't want to interrupt Alice. Her eyes were on Charles, and the look in them told Hank, she saw nothing else.

After a while he neared her cautiously, and she noticed him only when he was a few steps away from her.

\- Alice, can you spare a moment to take a walk with me? he asked.

\- Yes, of course. I was just… reading. Let me put this away, and I'm ready to go.

She placed the big, old, leather covered novel on a nearby table, and Hank noticed she was reading Wuthering Heights. An interesting choice, he thought, and not an uplifting one. But still, just the fact that she was actually wearing real clothes, and up on her feet, was uplifting.

\- It's good to see you out of your room, Alice.

\- Yes, it feels good too, Alice gave a small smile, I've been here for three weeks now, and I had no idea what this place was like! It is amazing, you have done a tremendous job here, with Charles.

\- Yeah, it is a good place to live, and work. It was Charles' dream for a long time. I'm happy to see it's finally reality.

\- It feels weird, you know? To see the kids, all so openly mutant. Impressing each other with their talents, like they're actually proud to be this way. You know, I just saw a girl making notes to her notebook, just by looking at it. The text just emerged on the pages! And a boy flew down the stairs so he almost knocked me down. I mean, really flew. His feet weren't even touching the ground.

Hank laughed.

\- That is what Charles thinks is most important part of what we do here. That these kids, the next generation, could have it easier than we did. Nobody should be ashamed of what they are, Alice, but it is easier said than done sometimes.

She did not answer, but Hank saw the look on her face turning sad, and he felt awkward immediately. In silence they walked out, into the cool, clear autumn day. The rain and storm had passed, and the sun was shining high, like a remainder of summer. Alice was clearly buried in her thoughts, and it took a long time before she began to talk again.

\- I used to live in a place like this, you know. A big, old house with a garden. I loved fall back then, the way the air smelled on days like this. The way the nearing winter turned the leaves yellow, and they fell to our feet. I always miss home in the autumn. It makes it worse, to know that I can never go back there.

\- Do you want to tell me why?

She made a small, sad laugh.

\- Not with so many words. In a nutshell: I did some messed up things, and my folks threw me out.

\- That's the typical story, Hank smiled awkwardly, Just ask anybody, and half of the kids here will tell you they went through the same.

\- I don't know if that's supposed to make me feel better or worse, Hank, Alice laughed. Is my misery lessened just because someone else had it even worse?

\- I'm just trying to say, that you are not alone here, Alice. Hank looked down, and cleared his throat.

\- And I'm trying to accept that, she answered. But hey, was there something you wanted to talk to me about?

\- Well, Charles came to see me this morning. He told me about what happened yesterday.

\- Oh Mother Mary of Christ! Alice cursed. Is there no privacy in this house? Whatever happened to confidentiality?

\- Alice, I am his physician, as well as his friend. And he came to me with a medical problem, that also includes you.

\- Oh, this is too awkward, she said her face burning. I really don't know if I can talk about this.

\- It's alright, Alice. He did not tell me the details, and I did not ask. We only discussed the problem in general, the fact that you two are not able to… well, touch.

\- Yes, she said with a relieved voice. That is a problem, I can agree on that. Oh Hank, do you have any idea it's like? It's excruciating! I can't go on like this.

\- What do you mean, you can't go on like this.

\- That yesterday, I almost… Oh, I almost kept kissing him anyways. Even after I realized I was bleeding. That I had to lock the bathroom door between us, not to go back to him. Hank, I can never say this to him, and I trust you not to do it either, but kissing him feels better than living, and if I have to give up my life to be able to kiss him one last time, I'm willing to do that. And if he won't let me, then I cannot stay here anymore. I cannot be in his presence, and not be his. It is like dying of thirst, with a glass of water in my hand.

\- Ok, Alice, just stop that. I get it's a difficult situation, but I am sure there is something I can do.

\- You are?

\- Well, I hope so. Could you please stop by my lab today, I'd do some tests on you, and take some blood.

\- Sure. Is now a good time? she asked, and looked at him with eyes full of hope.

Fifteen minutes later they were in his lab, Hank trying to get a sample of her blood, but it proved more difficult than he had thought.

He was wearing three pairs of rubber gloves, but still, touching her bare skin and piercing it with a needle, made him nauseous. The smell of her blood ached in his head, and he had to fight his instincts to be able to continue with his work.

The scientist in him was enthusiastic, hardly able to wait, to study this curious phenomenon, but his physics kept telling him to get as far as he could from her skin and blood.

\- Are you alright, Hank? Alice asked, after the third test tube. You look rather pale.

\- I'll be fine. I just need one more, stay still will you?

\- I'm trying. Hey, Hank…?

\- Mmmh?

\- Can I ask you one thing?

He took the last tube, and then carefully removed the needle, placing a plaster on her arm.

\- Yeah, sure. What is it?

\- It's about Leonore.

\- Oh, he said.

He felt blushing, which was ridiculous, but he could not help it.

\- Hank, I'm really sorry I told her, that I caught Raven in your mind. I know she got mad, and told you.

\- It's alright. But I'd appreciate if you didn't pry on my private thoughts. It was you, after all, who asked what happened to confidentiality.

\- Yes, that was hypocrite of me. I am sorry, I really am. But how was I supposed to know, that I'd found a friend in you, Hank.

Hank smiled, a small, anxious smile. He was still in search of words, and hid it by starting to write names to the test tubes, as Alice spoke again.

\- But Hank, About Leonore…

\- What about her. She told me to sod off, you know.

\- I know. But I also know, that she really likes you. And I'm just wondering, if there is any chance at all, that you'd… I don't know, gave her a call or something?

\- She likes me?

\- As if that is a surprise to you.

\- It is, actually.

It was always a surprise to Hank, that a girl liked him. He simply wasn't used to it. He has always been the geek, never the guy who got women's attention.

He was silent for a moment.

Leonore had told him to give her a call, when he had decided who he wanted to be with, and he certainly still had not done that.

But how could he even make up his mind, if he didn't even try it with Leonore?

Raven had disappeared this morning, again. She had a habit of doing so. She would just leave, without telling anyone where she went and when she'd return. And then, after a week or two, she returned. Sometimes alone, sometimes with a kid she had found somewhere and dragged here. She never told Hank where she had been, and with whom, and sometimes jealousy took the best of him, even if he had no right to feel that way, and he knew it.

\- I'm not sure she'd answer, muttered Hank.

\- Well, I am. Call it a hunch, will you? Alice winked an eye, and stood up to leave. Just give her a call and ask her out. It's not like you have to live like a monk, just because we are condemned to selibacy.

* * *

It was late already, past 10 pm, but Hank was still working in his lab. He had forgotten to eat, or take a look at the time, it often happened to him when he was working on something important, but he didn't feel fatigued. The adrenaline of enthusiasm kept him working.

Even if Charles had told him, it was out of the question, he had an idea about a serum. He had told Alice about the one he had developed for Charles years ago, and also told that as it was, he could not give it to her, for it was highly addictive. But that there was a possibility he could come up with something similar.

Alice had almost burst to tears hearing that.

\- Oh, Hank, if you could free me of this curse, even for a little while, I'd be ever grateful to you, she had said.

Those words in his ears, he buried himself in work. He was determinate now, and had more than one idea of how he could be of help. It was the best feeling, and he had forgotten all about the awkward conversation concerning Leonore.

Until there was a knock on the door, and he looked up.

Outside his lab, on the other side of the glass window, stood Leonore. She gave him a wide smile, and lifted a brown paper bag so that he could see it.

He stood up, confused, but opened the door anyway.

\- Hey, Leonore. What are you doing here?

\- Is that a way to make a girl feel welcomed? she grinned. Can't I come in?

\- Sure, Hank said.

He opened the door and let her in, noticing that she looked exceptionally good in her jeans and a sweater.

\- Well, I'm not here for you, not really, Hank. I came to see Alice, to bring her some stuff from her apartment, and just decided to stop by to see you as well. The truth is, I think you're fun, and I missed you. I brought you brownies - made them myself. You want some?

\- Well, I…

\- It's been hours since you ate, hasn't it? Just take a break, a brownie, and chat with me a while, I won't disturb you for long, I promise.

\- You are not disturbing, not at all, Hank said, and noticed he was smiling.

There was something almost too likable in Leonore. She was so easy to be around, that it often happened that Hank forgot his shyness, and was simply swept into chatting and laughing with her. They had a cup of coffee with brownies, and sat a while, just talking like they were friends, nothing more. After a ten minutes or so, Leonore stood up, and took a look of all the test tubes, notebooks and chemicals on the tables.

\- So, what are you working on? she asked. Looks interesting!

\- Believe it or not, a serum that's supposed to help Charles and Alice to have sex.

\- Wow, that's great! Leonore laughed, I hope you finish it soon, for I'm up to this with her whining!

\- Just tell me about it, sighed Hank.

\- I mean, I get that it's tragic and all, but all she does is mope around looking miserable, and go on and on about Charles, and his eyes, and his lips and his kisses, and God knows what else, and how she wants to touch him, but can't and blah, blah, blah. Sometimes I really miss the old Alice, who didn't even want to date anyone.

\- I so know what you mean. I thought I'd never say this, but I really hope Charles gets laid soon.

Leonore gave a heartfelt laugh.

\- So he is unbearable also?

\- Oh yes. Why do you think I'm working this late?

\- Ok, I'm going to help you. Leonore stated, and rolled her sleeves. Just tell me what to do.

He took a look at her, and hesitated for a second. But then he decided to give it a shot.

\- Yeah, sure. Would you put these test tubes into that centrifuge for two minutes? It is that devide, with-

\- I know what a centrifuge is, thank you very much, she said briskly.

\- How come?

\- Well, I studied chemistry and biology in college for a while. But my parents could not afford it, so I had to drop out. It's alright, I like working more than studying anyways.

\- Wow, you are full of surprises.

He glanced at her, with new eyes. She looked gorgeous, as always. Her blond hair was tied back, her round cheeks were rosy and her blue eyes had a joyous, playful look in them.

How many years had he waited for Raven to take notice of him?

How likely was it, that it would ever happen?

He knew he was chasing dreams, instead of trying to reach out for something that was real, and right in front of him.

Leonore was pretty in a non threatening way, unlike Raven, whose beauty was fierce and almost animal. Leonore looked like a cute neighbour's girl. Her form was a little chubby, but only in a way that made her curves even curvier. Her hips were feminine, breasts large and perfectly formed, and the way she moved when she walked, was enough to drive any man crazy.

She looked like the kind of girl, that would bake the best apple pie, cupcakes or brownies in the whole world, and would eat them too, with you, naked on the bed.

And for some reason, that was a mystery to Hank, this divine creature had taken an interest on him. He would be a fool, not to give it a shot.

Leonore noticed his stare, and while working with the centrifuge, she gave him a sideways smile, that made his head felt dizzy.

\- So, what can I do next, she asked.

\- I can think of some things, he answered with a low voice, and returned her smile.


	24. She's like heroin

_"She's like heroin_  
 _Sipping through a little glass_  
 _I'm looking for some help_  
 _I need someone to save her ass"_

\- System of a Down

* * *

She pressed the needle, piercing her skin, and pushed the serum into her bloodstream.

It only took a few heartbeats before she felt the effects.

\- Ah…! She breathed. It hurt so she had to bite her lip, but still a small cry of pain escaped.

But then, the bliss. She felt the cool sensation spreading into all parts of her body, her skin, and finally into her brain. The buzzing of other people's distant voices, that was always there in the background of her mind, began to quiet down. She wondered again, if this was how normal people felt all the time.

\- Are you alright, Alice? asked Charles.

She looked up to him. He was sitting in his chair, by the window, his posture stiff. He wasn't even able to look at her, when she used the needle.

\- Better now, she laughed. It's beginning to kick in.

She stretched on the bed, feeling divine. This was the third time she had tried the serum, and she was loving it. The first two times had happened in Hank's lab, under his constant supervision, but already on the first time she had been able to touch Hank's hand with no problems of any kinds. It was as if her curse was wiped out altogether.

But of course it only lasted for couple of hours.

And Hank gave her the permission to use the serum only once a week, so that she would not get addicted to it.

As if she wasn't already. She had never felt as normal as she felt now. No anxiety, no fear, no pain, no threat. Her mind felt quiet and peaceful. It was pure bliss.

But then there was Charles. He wanted nothing to do with the serum, or Alice taking it.

Alice knew he had not talked to Hank in days, after he had found out about the serum . Nothing could change his mind.

\- This is only the phase one, something to help us right now. Alice had tried to explain after the first time. - Hank says, that he's working on something that will make us not need the serum anymore.

But it was no use. Charles had had fear, tears and anger in his eyes, and for the first time, he had left her angry. Alice had cried herself to sleep that night, but still she had gone back to the lab the next day. And as the second try out had been as successful as the first one, Hank had given her a small bottle and some needles, and showed her exactly how the serum was used.

\- I never wanted this for you, she heard Charles saying.

She opened her eyes and returned to the moment. Charles had left his place by the window, and was now sitting very close to her bed.

It was weird to see Charles, and not be able to feel his emotions or his thoughts in the air. But also, it was new and exciting. And easy! Her head felt light with excitement as she sat up, and reached to touch his hand.

Their fingers brushed together, she felt the warmth of his skin, and her heart beat a little faster.

\- But it is what I want, she said. Will you not have me like this, Charles?

\- Of course I will, for how could I not? But we should have waited, waited for the better cure Hank's working on.

\- This is what we have now. Charles, I took my dose. We have two hours. Will you not kiss me now?

\- Alice, darling, Charles said, and his voice was thick with emotion. I want you, body and soul, heart and mind, I want to feel your thoughts on mine, your mind merging with my soul. I want nothing more than to fall into our own world, and make love to you there, like we did on the forest. Is it not what you want too? Tell me, Alice, for I cannot feel your thoughts anymore, even if we are holding hands.

\- Yes, Charles, I want it too. But that's not an option right now. This is. I can hold your hand. I can kiss you, darling. We can…make love, if you only want to?

\- Alice, please, he breathed, You know I do.

\- Then stop talking, and come to the bed, she plead, and kissed him.

A moan of desire escaped from his lips into her mouth, and it lit a fire inside of her. Suddenly she felt her hands shaking, as she reached for the buttons of Charles' shirt.

He moved from his chair to sit on the bed, and placed his hands gently on her shoulders to pull her to another kiss. Oh, it was so sweet! His lips were hot and eager, his mouth tasted like mint, his tongue found hers like it was meant to be. Alice felt how his hands moved to her neck, and gently caressed her short hair.

She tried to open the buttons of his shirt, but didn't succeed.

\- Let me, whispered Charles, and opened his shirt, pulled it off and let it fall to the floor.

Alice gasped, as she laid her hands on his bare chest. She could not believe it, that she was actually able to touch him. His skin was warm, his muscles firm and fit under it, and the feeling drove Alice nuts.

She moaned as he kissed her again, and his hands were now on her neckline. They opened the buttons easily, ripped off her blouse, and soon she was relieved of her bra too. His hands were on her breasts now, and she sighed with desire.

\- Alice, darling, he breathed into the kiss. I want to see you naked. And I want to kiss you… you know where.

\- Okay, she sighed.

Her head felt high, her cheeks burning, as she removed her pants, and let him do as he wished.

It only took a couple of minutes, that she was burning like a flame, and was ready to rip off his remaining clothes and climb on top of him. But he laughed teasingly, and didn't let her.

\- No, not yet, he smiled. This time we'll do it right. We'll take it slow, my love.

And they did, excrutiatingly so, until Alice was sure she would burst with desire, or die. It was not until then, that Charles let her sit on his lap, and pulled her near. He placed his hands gently on her hips, pulled her down, so that he entered her, deep and strong.

Alice yelped, and bit her lip.

God, it felt like being cut open, but still she yearned for it.

\- Are you hurt? he asked, panting.

\- Yes. But I want it, she answered, for it was the truth.

\- Oh, Alice, I wish to God I could take you the way I did on that forest. But now you'll have to be the one who's in control, sweetheart.

\- Okay, she breathed, nervous. But, Charles, I don't know how.

\- Just take your time, honey. It's not like I'm going anywhere.

He smiled and pulled her to a sweet, gentle kiss, that lingered on, and on, until Alice regained her courage.

Soon they were touching the sky.


	25. Science, bitch!

\- So, here's the plan: allergen specific immunotherapy! Hank said, hardly able to hide his enthusiasm.

\- Allergen specific immunotherapy? asked Charles, raising an eyebrow.

\- Yes! As in, you are going to adapt your immune systems to each other.

\- You do know, it's not allergy we're suffering, Hank?

Charles didn't sound nearly as excited as Hank had hoped, which was not uplifting.

They were sitting in his lab, him on the other side of the desk, Charles and Alice facing Hank, and a huge pile of papers and research on the table between them.

\- But physically it's quite similar, Hank stated, Just hear me out, will you? I read this article about a man who could not have sex with his wife, because he was allergic to chicken-

\- God, I'm hoping the wife was not a chicken, noted Alice grimly.

\- No, of course not. But she _ate_ chicken. And whenever she did, he could not touch her, not without a major allergic reaction. At first the couple was desperate, even considering a divorce, but then, a doctor specialized in allergies and immunotherapy suggested the specific immunotherapy to them, and guess what? They are happily married still.

\- So, basically, what you're saying is, that we're the chicken couple? said Charles.

\- I don't want to be the chicken couple! stated Alice

\- Erm, no. You are the shellfish couple.

\- Say what?

\- Well, that doctor happens to be a friend of mine, so I called him and asked for his help. I had to make something up, so I told that I had patients suffering from a severe allergy-

\- Caused by shellfish? Alice rolled her eyes, God, I've always wanted to be a lobster. I hear they mate for life, Charles.

\- Actually, that's a myth, noted Hank.

\- Really? And still you made me a lobster?

\- Hey, you'd rather be the chicken?

\- Cut it, the two of you, said Charles calmly. Hank, you were saying?

\- Right. I have a schedule here, somewhere… just let me find it for you.

Hank went through his papers, and finally found what he was looking for. He handed the pile of papers to Charles.

\- A schedule? he asked, You are kidding, right?

\- Erm, no. Just bare with me, alright? It is 'The adaptation to touching schedule, planned for-'

\- The Incredible Lobster and her victim? mocked Alice.

\- Alice, please, said Charles. Hank is trying to help us, the least you can do is to see what this is all about.

Alice sighed, resigned.

\- Alright, alright. Though it would be easier if I just kept on taking the serum.

\- But if this works, you'll never have to take the serum again.

\- Let's not go there, Charles. Just show me the schedule.

\- Alright. 'Day 1, touching for 1 minute, 2 times a day. Day 2, touching for 1,5 minutes, 3 times a day…' Charles read aloud.

\- Under my supervision, of course, noted Hank. And if there are any complications, you'll have to take a break and go back to the previous day's schedule.

\- A few minutes per day only, said Alice silently.

\- So that your immune systems will have time to adapt. But if you do want to touch for a longer period, you can still use the serum. But no more than once a week, Alice.

\- You think Charles would let me take that more often?

\- Alice, said Charles. It's for your own good. I don't want it to backfire on you, like it did on me.

\- And again we're talking about this. Alice snapped. I like you a lot more when you're less patronizing, darling. Hank's taking a medicine all the time to keep his mutation under control. Why couldn't I?

\- Mine is about appearance, said Hank. Yours is in your mind. You cannot compare the medication of such different matters, Alice. But I'm giving you something else entirely, a possibility to learn to control your powers and find out if it is possible for other people to adapt to it, so that it could be possible for you to touch other people without fear. Just in a few months that could be the reality, Alice.

\- Are you sure?

\- It's science, you can never be 100% sure. But I am about 50% sure, is that good enough for you?

Alice shrugged and looked away.

\- It's not like I have a choice, do I? I was born with a curse, so I guess it's time I learn to live with it.

A moment of silence followed Alice's dark remark, and it was Charles who spoke next.

\- When will we start, Hank?

\- Right now, if it's what you want. But just one thing, before we go on.

\- Yes?

\- I've understood that whenever you two touch, your minds form this other dimension where your consciousness is transferred, right?

\- Yes, said Alice silently, It is our mind place. But it doesn't happen if I'm taking the serum, or if I'm drunk.

\- Right. But now my advice would be to avoid that place altogether, if possible. For I think that it takes a huge amount of your energy, Alice, and during this adaptation period you should try not to exhaust yourself.

\- Oh. And how am I supposed to do that?

But now Charles smiled, and looked at Alice, and her cheeks blushed as she met his gaze.

\- I have some ideas. Just trust me on this one, darling, take my hand, and follow my lead.

\- Ok, Alice gave a shy smile, I can do that.

\- And if you're hurt, or you begin to fall, just let go of me right away. Ok?

\- Yes, Charles.

Hank noticed how Alice's small hand was trembling, like a leaf on wind, as she raised it. Charles hand was waiting for hers, palm up, calm and steady. Charles did not take his eyes off Alice, but when he spoke his words were meant for Hank.

\- Can we start?

\- Yes, go ahead. One minute, no more, Hank answered.

\- You take the time.

Their fingers were barely touching, when Alice's cheeks lit up, and she breathed in sharply.

\- Oh! she gasped.

\- It's allrigh, darling, hussed Charles.

\- I'm gonna fall!

\- Just hold on to me. Hold on, he breathed his eyes closed.

Their hands clasped together. Charles moaned, and bit his lip. Alice's bosom was heaving with deep breaths.

Hank felt oddly awkward, and he wanted to look away, but couldn't.

The moment felt too intimate somehow, even if Charles and Alice were only holding hands. But her cheeks were so blushed, and her breathing fast. And he was grabbing her fingers desperately, leaning towards her so that their faces were almost touching now.

It was like watching two magnets, drawn towards each other. Like a force of nature, they could not help it. Their foreheads were pressed together now, their noses brushed each other, their lips longingly opened for a kiss.

Hank felt a weird tug in his abdomen.

How would it feel to want someone's touch that much?

How would it feel to be lit up like that, only by holding hands?

He had to look away, for his cheeks felt hot. And the time, by God, he had forgotten to keep watch of the time! Quickly he checked his wristwatch: 56 seconds and counting.

\- Krhm! he cleared his throat. The time, folks!

\- Ah! gasped Alice, as if an electric shock went through her slender body.

She snapped out of the kiss, quickly pulled her hands from Charles'.

Charles took a deep breath, as if trying to calm himself down. He ran his fingers through his hair, and breathed out slowly.

The moment was awkward. Hank looked away from the two of them, and he had to remind himself of the fact that he was their physician.

\- So. One minute, and I presume you managed to stay here?

\- Yes, we did. Apparently we can do that, concentrating.

\- Alright, said Hank. Good. That was the first treatment. How are you feeling, Alice? Any headache or nausea?

\- No, nothing. I'm fine, just a little bit tired, that's all.

\- Are you sure? asked Charles, suddenly sounding concerned.

\- Yes, I'm perfectly fine. I'll just go to my room and rest for a while, if that is ok?

\- That's a good idea, said Hank, and stood up as she did. We have another treatment in six hours, if you feel up to it.

He walked her to the door, noticing that she looked a little pale, but otherwise she seemed ok. After closing the door, he turned back to Charles, who had not left with Alice, but was still sitting in his chair by the table.

\- There is something you want to talk about? he asked.

\- If you are not busy?

\- Go ahead. Hank answered, taking a seat too.

\- I just wanted to thank you, that's all. You've done a huge amount of work, and all this for me.

\- It's nothing. You would've done the same for me, Charles, Hank said, suddenly feeling embarrassed.

It was never easy for him to be praised for the things he'd done. It wasn't in his nature.

\- Besides, he continued, don't thank me yet. Thank me, when we are through with this, and you are both fine.

\- Then, smiled Charles, I'll thank you by asking you to be my best man for the wedding.

\- A wedding? said Hank, startled. Congratulations, man! I'm so happy for you.

A genuine flush of happiness rushed through his heart, and he noticed smiling widely, as he stood up to shake Charles' hand.

\- Well, I haven't actually proposed to her yet, said Charles, so perhaps you are too early congratulating me.

\- Nonesense, there is no way she'll turn you down. Charles, this is great, allow me to offer you a drink to celebrate this!

\- Sure, why not, Charles nodded. So, you'll be the best man then?

\- Of course, said Hank, pouring brandy into two crystal glasses. I'm honored to be your best man. But hey, to your happiness, Charles!

Hank raised his glass, and took a sip, as did Charles. They savored the drink in silence for a while, and it was Hank to finally speak again.

\- So, she is the one?

\- Yes, she is. I am certain of it. I am ready to get married, can you believe it?

\- When will you propose?

\- I'm waiting for the right moment. I know she loves me, but I don't know if she's ready to hear the question just yet. I'm going to give her some time to settle down first.

\- That's probably a good idea, Hank said and took another sip from his glass. So… have you talked about the future? Now that she's physically healed, is she going to stay here still?

Charles sighed, suddenly looking concerned, which made Hank regret he'd asked that.

\- Well, she doesn't want to. She says she want's to go back home, but we all know that's impossible at the moment.

\- Yeah. That would be risky.

\- That would be madness. She is only safe here, and you know it.

\- Why does she want to leave anyways? It's not like she has a job to return to anymore, and her apartment wasn't all that nice.

\- I know. Plus, I had all her things transferred here the moment she said she missed her own furniture. I thought she'd be happy about it, but…

\- But she got mad? Hank could not help but to laugh. Well, it might have been a little patronizing, Charles.

\- Et tu, Brute? Charles gave a sad laugh. I thought you were supposed to be on my side, being my best man and all.

\- I didn't know there were sides to be taken. But seriously, you must have talked about this. She is healed now, there is no reason for her just to sit around and read. It would do her good to do something.

\- Like what? I asked her if she wanted to work here, and she just said: 'Doing what? I have no degree, no qualification to be of any use. And I'm sure as Hell not going to serve lunch to your students."

Hank gave a small laugh, and sipped his drink again.

\- Perhaps she could get a degree? Didn't she say she always wanted to study, but never had the chance?

\- That's an option. But still, she could not leave this place, and it would be complicated.

Suddenly Charles sounded frustrated, he emptied his glass, and pushed it onto the table, angered.

\- Oh, Hank, this is driving me crazy! How come we cannot find Maria, and bring her to justice! This madness will never end before we find her, and Alice can really be free!

\- So, still no luck finding her with Cerebro? stated Hank grimly, already knowing the answer.

\- No. And by God, I don't understand what can be the problem. How come I can find every other person on this planet, and not her?

Hank shrugged, emptied his glass, and gave a sympathetic look to his friend.

\- Perhaps she's wearing a tinfoil hat?

\- Or a dorky helmet, noted Charles grimly.


	26. Heritage

**Two months later, mid December:**

\- You are pregnant?

Charles was almost choking to his wine.

Alice sat on the other side of the table, not looking at him, but at her plate, where the food laid untouched. Her face was very pale, but her cheeks were flushed.

\- Yes, I'm pregnant.

\- What? But how…?

\- You're being silly now, Charles, Alice rolled her eyes, You know exactly how babies are made.

\- But when did you find out?

He was still buffled, trying to wrap his thoughts around her words.

Pregnant? With his baby?

He was going to be a father?

\- My period was late, so I asked Hank to do a test yesterday. But don't worry, I'm barely two months pregnant, there's plenty of time. In fact, I've already booked an abortion. I just thought you should know.

\- No! That's out of the question, Alice.

Charles was surprised by his own, strong reaction, but this was how he felt. He was going to be a father, and he was quite sure that was going to be pretty amazing. But apparently Alice didn't share his enthusiasm, as her face was still stern, and pale, only her cheeks burning with emotion.

\- That's not really your decision, Charles. It's mine, she stated.

\- To have an abortion? But why, why would you even consider it?

\- I've never wanted children, ever. I'd be a terrible mother.

\- I dare to disagree. I think you'd be an excellent mother.

\- Oh, come on, Charles! Alice snapped. What kind of a parent would I be, not able to touch my own child? What kind of a life would she have?

\- Now you are being silly. Just think about it. You are already touching the baby. Were you not able to touch her, there certainly would've been a miscarriage by now.

\- But Charles, that can mean one thing only, whispered Alice, her eyes tearing. It means that the baby is like me, she has inherited my mutation.

\- Most likely, yes.

\- Oh, that's even worse. Alice burst. That's the worst thing that could've happened!

\- How can you say that, Alice? It can't be that bad.

He offered her his hand, and she took it. They had been practicing touching so much now, that they could do this, on a public place. He felt her desperation, her anger and her sadness like they were his own, and a sudden pain cut his heart. Charles felt Alice's tears burning in his own throat.

\- Can't be that bad? Alice said, her voice shaking. Which part of my story isn't that bad to you? That I can never touch another person in my life, that I lost everything - my home, my family, my heritage, my chance for a normal life?

\- You've lost a lot, that's true. But you gained me, and our child. Please, Alice. I know it is your decision, but please, just think this through. I love you, I will always take care of you and and the baby. And I would be honored if you'd want to be the mother of my child.

There was a moment of silence, Alice looked away from him, and pulled her fingers away from his grasp.

\- It didn't even cross my mind, you'd want to keep this child, Alice whispered. That anyone would want to have a baby with me.

\- Well, I do. In fact, that's an understatement. It would make me the happiest man on Earth.

They were silent again, for a few heartbeats, and then Charles remembered. He remembered the reason he had asked her out today, to this same Italian restaurant he had taken her the first time they had dined out together.

He slipped his hand into his pocket, and pulled out the small box he had carried with him for weeks now, just waiting for the right moment. His hands were slightly shaking now, as he popped the box open, and showed Alice the beautiful, white gold ring with a big emerald, the same color as her eyes.

\- Alice, I love you, I worship you, I adore you, and I have never felt as complete as I do when you're by my side. Please, be my wife. Marry me, darling.

\- Are you proposing to me? Alice's eyes widened.

\- Yes, I think I am. So, how is it going to be, Alice? Will you marry me?

But Alice gulped, and looked away. Suddenly tears burst in her eyes.

\- I have to think about it. I'm sorry, please excuse me.

She stood up, on her shaky feet, and rushed out of the restaurant, leaving Charles alone in the table, still holding the ring on his hand.

* * *

Later that night Charles was sitting in his office with Hank and Alex, emptying a third bottle of beer, and finally beginning to feel the effects. The blissful numbness cut away the edge of pain, that had made it almost impossible to breath.

Alice was carrying his child.

Alice, who had refused to marry him.

Alice, who had left him, and ran away from him. To have an abortion, for all he knew.

That thought brought a bitter taste to his mouth, and weighed heavily on his chest.

Alice, that damn little pixie, who had bewitched him, so that he could think of nothing else but her, and the way she had left her on that table like a fool.

And a fool he felt, fooled by love, and by Alice.

To hell with women, and with love, he thought. But still he was unable to think anything else at all.

\- So Hank, you knew she was pregnant and you didn't tell me? he verbally attacked his friend.

\- Charles, really. I am her doctor, and there is such a thing as confidentiality. But I encouraged her to tell you as soon as possible, which she did.

\- Did you encourage her to book the abortion too? Or were you going to do it to her yourself?

\- Don't be absurd, Charles. But if you must know, I told her there is no physical reason what so ever, for her not to have this child. She is perfectly healthy, and I'm not expecting any complications in her pregnancy. But you know, carrying a child is not a physical matter only, and it can be very stressful, even scary. It is her decision in the end, if she feels up to it.

Hanks cool and calm voice only annoyed Charles. He knew that Hank was right, but still he pressed on.

\- But the child is mine too! he snapped, and threw away the emptied bottle. I should have something to say about the matter.

\- And you did. There isn't much else you can do.

\- Except to use a condom next time, said Alex. Really Charles, with all your Ph.D's and you didn't think about contraception?

\- Like you never forgot about it, stated Charles, and grabbed a bottle of whisky from his cabinet.

\- Nope, said Alex. When I don't use a condom, I do it on purpose.

\- Well thank you, that was very helpful, mocked Charles. But it's the 70's and everybody's on pill. How the hell was I supposed to know she wasn't?

\- Did you ask? smirked Alex.

\- None of your business, smart mouth. Besides, it's not a problem that Alice is pregnant. The problem is, that she's going to abort, and on top of that, refuses to marry me!

\- A good thing, that I know just what's gonna help you with that too, said Alex.

\- And that is…?

\- Whisky. But hey, you already found the bottle. Care to pour us some?

\- With pleasure, said Charles darkly.

But just as he was about to do so, there was a knock on the door. A gentle, almost shy knock, he would have recognized anywhere.

His heart skipped a beat, as he recognized Alice's thought patterns on the other side of the door. But he was angry and agonized, and he was drunk and frustrated, so he pushed away the gentleness, and opened the door with a storm in his mind.

Alice was standing there, wearing a loose fitting pair of jeans, and a green sweater that made her skin look like ivory and her emerald green eyes seem like forest meadows. Her dark, short, curly hair made her look very young and fragile, like a fairy, as it revealed her slightly pointed ears, that Charles loved. Her face was very pale, and even if he was drunk, he noticed her eyes and nose were puffy and red from crying.

\- Drinking and gossiping, Charles? she stated bitterly. That's classy.

\- Well, can you blame me? he said, You just turned down my proposal.

\- I didn't. I said I needed to think about it.

\- You didn't say yes, so that counts as a refusal. So, are you here to give me an answer? Go ahead then, he laughed, rip off my heart. It's all yours, as it is.

\- Oh Charles, for a genius and a telepath, you are incredibly stupid. Sometimes I just want to smack your face, to get that arrogant smile off it. Just read this, and we'll talk tomorrow when you're sober.

And she handed a small, folded piece of paper to him, turned on her feet, and walked away.

\- Well' it doesn't seem to me that's she's about to dump you, noted Alex, as Charles closed the door.

\- She said she wanted to smack my face!

\- We all do, sometimes, but that doesn't mean we don't love you, brother, Stated Hank.

\- But she called me stupid too, didn't she? said Charles.

\- Because you are, said Hank, for not realizing what is plain clear for the rest of us.

\- Then enlighten me, please, said Charles bitterly.

\- You'll figure it out, I'm sure, laughed Hank and sipped his beer. And I'm going to eat my shoes, if there's not going to be a wedding by the end of the year.

\- We'll see about that, for the year will end in three weeks, Said Charles as he unfolded the note Alice had given him.

Her handwriting was old fashioned, and she had written in black ink, and the writing reminded him of the notes she had handed to him a million years ago in the coffee house.

 _"My darling Charles,_

 _I am sorry that I could not give you a straight answer today._

 _I feel utterly honored, that you proposed to me. What you have given me, is more than I ever thought I'd have, and certainly more than I deserve, the unconditional love of a good man._

 _But there are things that you do not know about me. Things from my past, that haunt me day and night, and I strongly feel that you cannot ask me to be your wife without getting to know my demons._

 _So please, take a walk with me tomorrow, in the park, if the sun is shining, and I'll share my darkest secrets with you. Then, and only then, can you decide if you still want to marry me._

 _Yours, heart and soul, Alice."_

Without a word, Charles handed the note to Hank, who read it silently, and then to Alex, who smirked as he read it.

\- 'Yours, heart and soul'? he laughed. And this is not enough for you, Charles?

\- Truly, Charles, said Hank as well. I think you might have been overreacting.

But Charles did not answer, for he had read her mind in the restaurant earlier that day, and even if there had been love, there had also been sadness, hurt and pain. And fear. So much fear, that Charles had been able to sense it's metallic taste on his lips.


	27. Alea iacta est

\- He proposed to me, Alice said, looking at Leonore who was sitting in the bed in front of her.

\- Oh, finally! I'm surprised he managed to keep it a secret this long.

Leonore could not hide her excitement from her, which somehow annoyed Alice.

\- You knew? she snapped, How come I am the last one to find out about this? Am I not supposed to be the telepath here?

\- Well, I knew, because your darling Professor Brainy called me and asked me to go ring shopping with him. I helped him pick the ring, you know. The gorgeous white gold ring with a huge emerald, the one I don't see you wearing by the way. Please tell me, you did say yes to him?

Alice avoided her gaze, blushing slightly.

\- I will. Probably. I just needed some time to think it over.

\- Oh Lord, Alice, what is it with you? What is there to think about? He is gorgeous, he is rich, he is a super genius - and a superhero - he is great in bed, or so you tell me, and he worships you. Some people would consider him quite a catch, you know.

\- I know that. Alice rolled her eyes. I know he is perfect, and I know he loves me

\- And you love him, I know, for you have said so for like a thousand times. So what is the problem?

\- Just that. That he is perfect, and I am not, Alice looked up to Leonore's sky blue eyes, He could do a lot better than me, you know.

\- Better than marrying a princess? she raised an eyebrow.

\- Please, don't call me that, Alice sighed, I'm hardly a princess.

\- Well, I checked your family tree. It had more Princes and Princesses than I could count, so don't you go 'please' on me. Besides, he wants to marry you because he loves you. Everything else is irrelevant, and you know it.

\- I'm not so sure about that, Alice shrugged. I have learnt, that there are no irrelevant things, and the demons of your past have a very bad habit of finding you, no matter how deep you thought they were buried. But I really, really don't want to talk about that.

\- Isn't that why you asked me over?

\- Perhaps I just asked you here, because I enjoy your company? And the fact that I can simply run into you in the hallway, and ask you to my room? I like the fact that we see each other more often now, that you are seeing Hank. But hey, tell me, how are things with him?

Leonore shrugged, and brushed her fingers through her wavy, blond hair.

\- You know, we're just fooling around. He's a great guy and I like him, and he is a beast in bed indeed, but it's not like he's my happily ever after.

\- And why not? Alice smiled, I've seen how you look at him, Leonore. You can't tell me it's not serious.

\- But wow could it be serious, honey? A half of his heart is still taken, and it doesn't look like he's going to get over Raven.

\- Oh, still that, Alice stated and winced.

\- Yeah, still. And you know, I love Raven, she is great, and I owe her your life! But I can't help thinking, that she's keeping Hank in a leash.

\- You're being too harsh on her. She's had some rough times too, you know, and it is not easy to give your heart to someone.

\- You're probably right. Besides, I'm the one Hank's sleeping with, and I know he's loving it, as am I, so what am I complaining about? But hey, have a beer - I stole a few from Hank's fridge.

\- I'm surprised there were some left, Alice rolled her eyes. But no thanks, I'm not really in the mood.

\- Turned down the proposal of the lifetime, and not in the mood to have a beer with your BFF?

\- Why does everyone keep saying I turned him down? I didn't! I just needed some time to think.

\- About what?

\- About the baby, she whispered, looking away from Leonore.

\- What baby? she shrieked.

\- Mine. And Charles'. I'm pregnant, Leonore, and he wants me to keep it.

Leonore jumped to her feet, and in excitement she flapped her hands like a bird it's wings.

\- Oh! A baby! Oh, that's so amazing! Congratulations! This is so much better than a wedding! I am going to be the godmother, surely, Alice? Oh, I'm so happy for you!

\- Just stop with that flapping, will you, and calm down! Alice stated, and handed Leonore a beer. Why does everyone want me to have this child? This is crazy!

\- Wait, what? You don't want to have it?

\- No! And I have already booked the abortion. It's the day after tomorrow, and I was going to ask you to go with me.

\- Hey, hey, hey, now you need to calm down and think this through!

\- Why? Why do I need to think this through? Why can't I just have an abortion, and get on with my life?

\- Because, you just refused to have a beer with me. And don't tell me it had nothing to do with you being pregnant, sweetie.

Alice looked away, she laid her hands on her belly, and closed her eyes.

Yes, she could sense the small spark of life inside or her. A tiny, little being, a new life, growing, it's brain and nervous system beginning to take form. It was not a baby yet, she knew, it was hardly more than a lump of cells. But she felt it's heartbeat in her mind, a rapid little ticking, like the wings of a hummingbird, and suddenly she knew: "This little heart is going to beat a long time, after mine has turned to ashes."

That thought suddenly brought peace to her mind, and she turned to look at Leonore.

\- Come what may, she whispered. Alea iacta est. I will have this baby, and I will marry Charles, if he'll still have me.


	28. Kickstart

_"So now your world broke down_

 _You give it a kick-start_

 _You only see the light when it's pitch-dark_

 _So don't give up on me, we've come this far_

 _You're on, you're on your way"_

 _\- Redrama_

* * *

They were sitting on a bench, on the garden. It was a cold morning, and even if sun was shining, some small snowflakes danced in the wind and get caught in Alice's hair and eyelashes. Her posture was stiff, nervous, and Charles saw how she clenched her hands together.

\- Charles, I have not slept all night, thinking about our situation.

\- The proposition I made you yesterday? For I haven't slept either, wondering what your answer might be.

\- You want to know if I have an answer for your big question? Yes, and no. For, Charles, I feel that you do not know everything about me, you should know, to be able to ask me to marry you. I have not told you everything.

Her dark green eyes were serious, and her face was pale as ivory.

\- Alice, he said gently, I do not care about your secrets. I do not care about your past. There is nothing you can say, that would change how I feel about you. I want you to be my wife, in good days, and bad ones, even in the ones you want to smack my arrogant face. I want you, with all your stories and your history, with all your perfect imperfections. I want us to grow old together, and raise a family with. I want to wake up seeing your face first thing in the morning, for the rest of my life. I cannot imagine my life without you, so please, have mercy on my poor heart, and say yes.

\- Well, there is a proposal that should end up in a romance novel, Charles, she sighed and gave him a small smile.

\- Is that a yes?

\- No, not yet. First, let me tell you about the night a girl named Alexandra died, and I was born.

"It was almost eleven years ago. God, I can't believe it has been so long already! During these years, most days have felt longer than the eternity, but now that I look back, I can see that the time has flied. It seems no longer than a blink of an eye, all the time I have been me."

"I have already told you of my family's history and my childhood, so I won't bother you with them now. Just let me skip straight to the year of my 16th birthday. Did you know, that I was born on Christmas Eve, Charles? Well, I was. When I was a small girl, I remember Grandmother telling me every year, that I was the best Christmas present she'd ever had, and the only one she ever needed... She always spent the Christmas holidays with us, so naturally she was there that year too. The year I had just turned 16. Oh, you should have seen me Charles. I didn't feel that way then, I think no teenage girl does, but I was really pretty. You have seen the pictures, right? The one where I'm riding my horse, it was taken just a few months before I turned sixteen, and I still had all the innocence in the world."

"It was boxing day, and from the morning me and Maria began to prepare for the ball. The traditional Christmas ball, the Howard family organized every year. My mother would always complain about going there, because she thought they were beneath us, like she thought everyone was, but nevertheless we always went, for young princesses like Maria and me, we needed practice in dancing and socializing, and the opportunities were limited as it was."

"But this year was different, for Maria had started dating Alistair Jr, or Al as everyone our age called him, just a few months earlier. Oh, it hurts to remember how she was. She was so beautiful! Not like me, not just a pretty face, but a real beauty. She had a face of a princess, Charles, and the heart of an angel. I know you can't believe it now, but she was the most innocent, the most gentle and good hearted person that has ever walked on this planet Earth. And we were inseparable. Everyone used to think we were twins, but actually she was one year older than me. But we grew up together. She was there when I took my first steps, when I learnt to talk, and my first word was her name. She was the best big sister anyone could hope for. She was loving, and fierce. If anyone treated me badly, she fought for me like a tiger - and I for her. She was my best friend as well as a sister, and as we grew up together, I always could read her thoughts and her moods- but I never thought anything of it. I gathered, it was like that with all sisters."

"But you know, we always thought nothing could ever come between us, but of course life is never that simple. She fell in love, and started going out with Al. And I wanted to be the good sister, to be happy for her, to be excited for her, when we lay on the bed in the night, and in the dark we gossiped, and whispering she told me all the things he had said to her, and the ways he had kissed her in the garden. But I knew there was something off with him, I just felt it in my guts, and I told it to her. Perhaps I shouldn't have, for Maria didn't want to hear any of it. Can you imagine how I felt, when she didn't believe me? When she accused me of just being jealous (which I was, of course, for he took all her time now), and being like mother, thinking that Al was beneath us."

"But back to that day… Boxing day. It was a day a lot like this one, Charles. It was cold, but sunny, and the first snow had fell just the previous night. I still remember how it was. It shimmered like diamonds, made the Howard family's manor look like a castle from a fairytale. And like true princesses, we arrived with gowns and diamonds, real roses on our hair. We were beautiful, Charles. You should have seen us. That is the last night in my life, I have ever felt beautiful, in and out."

"But it all ended that night. My life, as I had become to know it, so simple, so easy. Never again was I to feel as clueless again, as I did that night."

"I still remember just how the air smelled, and how did the snow felt under my dancing shoes, as I slipped out to the garden to have some fresh air. I loved to watch the stars, Charles, I still do. And even if the manor had lights on, you could see them if you walked a bit further away. And I did, for what on earth could happen to me there? I knew the place like it was my second home. So many times had I visited the place, played on the fields as a small girl, and lately helped Maria to meet Al in secret."

"He was waiting for my sister there, but instead it was me who came to him."

Alice was silent for a long time now, so long that the snowflakes had time to fall on her hair, on her shoulders like little stars, and they stayed there until Charles gently brushed them off.

Alice's voice was strained and shaky as she finally continued.

\- I noticed he was drunk, very much so. I should have left right away, but I didn't.

A long pause, again.

\- He tried to take advantage of me.

Charles felt his heart twisting of rage as he heard Alice's words.

\- You mean, he tried to-

\- Yes, that's exactly what I mean. Don't make me say it, please.

\- I'm so sorry, Alice, that must have been horrible, Charles managed to say, even if the words tried to get stuck in his throat.

\- Yes, but even if I was innocent as a child, I was not the first girl to get harassed, nor the last. I would have gotten over it. But the worst part is… that when he didn't stop. When I told him to stop, and he didn't… I got so angry. And the anger, it burst out of me, like a flame, through my skin, through my lips, through my soul. And it hit him. And I wanted it to hit him, Charles. I wanted him dead, and God knows I got what I wanted. I murdered him.

\- You didn't. You were trying to protect yourself.

\- Yes, but did he have to pay for it with his life? Who am I to sentence people to death?

Her voice was shaking from emotion, and her eyes were teary. Very cautiously Charles laid his hand on her arm, and caressed it gently.

\- Alice, you are not the first person to hope someone would die. To most people, thoughts are just thoughts. They are harmless. You could not have known, your thoughts would really hurt him. Besides… I heard he took his own life?

\- How did you know that? she looked up to his eyes.

\- Raven had found an old newspaper, it was when you were missing.

\- Oh, alright. None of the important stuff was in the papers anyways. But yes, he did take his own life. Only after I drove him mad, though, and stole a piece of his soul. Let me finish my story, Charles, for it is not over yet. The worst of it is yet to come.

"So, he kissed me, taking me by surprise. He was a beautiful young man, with with even features and a strong jaw. Not of my taste, though, and I always found him too self centered, too pompous for my taste. And I was right about him, for now he thought it was his right to take whatever he wanted from me."

"But he didn't get what he wanted. Instead, he got the worst of me. As he grabbed me with force and ripped my dress, my powers cut right through his body, like he was nothing more than a shadow. The blood… my God, Charles, I can still smell the blood. It burst out of his nose, his eyes, his mouth. It dripped down to my hands, to my ripped gown and the skin of my bosom, to the snow... and it was so painfully bright against the whiteness, that I can still see it every time I close my eyes."

"He was so drunk. Otherwise he would have realized it was a really bad timing, if you can say that about an attempted rape. For he had been waiting for my sister, and soon enough she came. She stepped in just to see Al collapsing to the snow, and me standing there his blood on my hands."

"What did you do to him?" those were her words. Can you imagine how I felt? That my sister, the one who had always stood by me, every turn of my life, every obstacle, she had always been on my side, and now - as I was standing there, half naked, my hair messed, trying to defend myself - the first thing she said to me, was "What did you do to him? I have never felt so betrayed in my life, though now that I think about it, her reaction is quite understandable."

"She rushed to me, and grabbed me, shook my shoulders and shouted to me. And I could not help it. The remainings of my powers, the part I had not released on Al, just burst out of me, without me wanting it to, and it hit Maria."

"I can still see it in my mind. How the spark of her soul died in her eyes. She reached for my hair, the roses of my hairdo get stuck in her fingers, and she fell, to the snow and blood, on Al's side. She fell silently, only a thin stream of blood running from her nose. But later it became obvious, that her injuries were far more serious than that, and they were inside her mind."

"They rushed Al to the hospital, telling he had had some kind of a fit. But as he came to, it was obvious he had lost his mind. I had killed something in him, and only after a few months, he killed himself. I am not ashamed to say, that I did not mourn for him, for I truly felt regret for what I had done. But I was devastated by what happened to Maria."

"She spent a couple of days in hospital, and after that she was transferred to a mental institution, for she was suicidal and delusional. I visited her every day, until the doctors told me not to, for my visits disrupted her. And the truth is, that I was relieved when I didn't have to go there anymore, for I had already noticed the change. She was not my sister anymore. Something deep inside of her had changed, something in her soul. I had broken her, twisted her soul in a way that made her a stranger."

"But she learnt to hide it, so that eventually they let her home. She returned to our house a few days after Al's funeral, and that night she tried to kill me for the first time. Call me stupid, but it took some time before I truly realized that eventually she would succeed in her mission to make me pay for what I had done. And so I left. I left my home and my family, and I left her, Charles. Not a day goes by without me thinking about her, and the ways I let her down. For I am responsible for killing my own sister, and creating a monster, and I cannot think of a worse crime."

They were silent for a while after Alice had finished her story. Charles noticed, there were tears running down her face, and he reached to wipe them off. Feeling his gentle touch on her cheek, she turned to look at him, with eyes full of sorrow.

\- I am so sorry that you lost your sister, Charles whispered. It is truly a tragedy.

\- Yes. The worst mistake of my life, and I would give everything to take it back. Everything.

\- I know, said Charles.

And he knew what she meant. That she would give her own happiness, she would give up even him, if that was what it took to make things right with Maria again. Silently he made a mental note to try all in his power to get to Maria, and try to fix her mind. A promise he only manage to keep years later (and that's another story).

\- So, what is your answer? he asked after a long silence, taking her hand. Will you marry me, Alice?

\- You still want to? she whispered, After everything I just told you?

\- I said so before. Nothing you told me could change the way I feel about you. I want you to be my wife, and now I have waited long enough for your answer.

It took a few agonizing heartbeats before she broke into a smile, a smile that was wide enough to make the frost melt in the garden.

\- You are a fool Charles for wanting to marry a nutcase like me, she said wiping her tears, but how could I say no to you? So yes, yes, I will marry you.

\- Then I am a fool, the happiest fool in the world, he murmured as he pulled her into a kiss.


	29. Streamline

" _Well, I know time reveals in hindsight_

 _I can wrestle with the stormy night_

 _Because your love lasts a lifetime_

 _But I can see you through the snowblind_

 _But I wasn't there for you_

 _You are gone (I wasn't there for you)_

 _Goodbyes are long_

 _You are gone (I wasn't there for you)_

 _Goodbyes are long_

 _Goodbye."_

 _-System of a Down_

* * *

\- This will look beautiful, Alice, Leonore said, her eyes shimmering.

\- Yes, just imagine how it will be, with the candles and flowers. Oh, I am so happy! I can hardly wait!

They stood in a church, a small beautiful church that still had all the Christmas decorations. It was the beginning of January, and today was the rehearsal for the wedding. Alice felt her heart skipping a few beats as she thought that she was going to be Mrs. Xavier in just a few days. What a way to start a new year!

\- I am happy for you, said Leonore interrupting her thoughts. I know, I've been a pain in the ass for Charles, but the truth is that he is a great guy. And he is going to make you so happy. You deserve it, honey.

And just then, as Alice was about to answer, there was a loud noise, a gunshot.

Leonore gasped for air, her blue, pretty eyes wide open with surprise, she fell down. In horror Alice grabbed her, but was unable to stop what was happening. A red stain appeared in the front of her jacket, and began to grow, as she collapsed to the floor.

Alice felt Leonore's mind shut down, like someone had turned the switch off.

Tears burst into her eyes, as she turned to look who was responsible for this brutal act of terror.

On the front door of the church, against the light, stood a familiar figure, and deep inside of her guts, Alice knew the time to pay, had come.

\- Well, isn't it the rat that thought she got away? Maria mocked, still holding a gun in her hands.

\- You! You murderer! Alice screamed. She was innocent! She had nothing to do with this!

\- Nobody around you is innocent.

Alice began to run to Maria, but there was another gunshot. It got her lower abdomen, and her legs went off. She fell to the floor, to her knees, and in disbelief grabbed the place where the bullet had entered. The blood was bursting out. The baby, oh God, the baby. She could feel her tiny thoughts dying inside of her.

\- Don't you try to come near me, you demon spawn, Maria hissed, Even if it would do you no good. I am protected now, against you, and your godless powers. You can not hurt me.

\- How? Alice breathed through her teeth.

\- Thanks to you, my little lab rat. Thanks to your spinal fluid I can now stop you, and everybody like you.

Alice didn't want to believe it, but she felt it was real. She tried to reach her thoughts, but there was nothing but a blank wall, that blocked all her intentions. She tried to get up, to get on her feet, but was interrupted by yet another shot, this time through her shoulder.

She fell on her back. She was spitting blood now, and she knew she was going to die. She glanced at Leonore's body lying near to her, the still surprised look on her pretty face, the blood that stained her white shirt and jacket.

Alice felt her heart breaking.

\- Just finish this, she croaked. You got me, just end this already.

\- Oh, no. Not just yet, little sister. Maria said, stepping close to her, kneeling in front of her. - I want you to die feeling, knowing, that it is your fault that your friend died. And that your precious Charles is going to die too. I want you to bleed there, on my feet, and savor that for a while.

An iron cold rage bubbled inside of Alice, like a steel knife in her stomach.

\- Alright, you win. Do what you want with me, but don't you dare to touch Charles.

\- You killed the one thing I loved. So I want you to die knowing that I will kill everyone you love.

\- Please, I'm begging. Let him be.

It was difficult to speak now. Tears ran from her eyes, and she felt her lungs filling with blood, it bubbled out as she tried to speak. Her head felt light, and she could not feel her legs.

\- Sorry, sis. Too late to bargain, stated Maria.

And with that, she stood up, raised her gun and shot Alice in the head.

* * *

Alice lay dead on the cold stone floor, as Maria left the church. Only a few minutes later, a car stopped on the street and Hank helped Charles to his chair. It had begun to snow, and the snowflakes landed to Charles' hair and his shoulders, but he laughed as he shrugged them off.

There was no life left in Alice, as the door opened, and the two men entered. And so she could not hear how Charles screamed her name when he rushed to her, fell down onto the floor beside her.

It was still snowing outside, hours later, when it was all over.

The police had come, and left. The fragile bodies, the empty shells of Alice and Leonore had been taken away, and the day had turned into a night.

It was dark, as Hank, with shaky feet, pushed Charles' chair out of the church.

There was blood in Charles' hands, and his clothes, and when the snowflakes fell on top of him, they turned red.

In fact, they looked like rose petals, and not snow at all.


	30. Epilogue

**Three years later:**

It was the end of October, and a furious autumn storm was beating the mansion.

Charles sat in his small library, staring at the window. The water was running down the black glass, the windows creaked as the heavy wind tried to find it's way inside. Charles watched his own reflection stare back at him, pale faced, eyes dark with sorrow and memories.

He remembered a night just like this, three years ago.

Alice had sat on that chair by the fire, reading Wuthering Heights. The chair was still here, as was the fire - as warm and calming as ever, but Alice…. The thought cut through Charle's heart like a spear. Alice was gone, and she was never coming back.

They had buried her here, on the land of the mansion, for no one had known if she'd preferred some other burial place. Charles still visited the grave almost every day, but to tell the truth, he never felt her presence there. It was just a grave, a stone.

It was on nights like this, he felt her near.

Like her voice was hidden in the sound of the wind and the rain, so that he could almost hear it if he just tried enough.

Feeling her presence he looked away from the window, and to the chair by the fire, but the chair was empty as always. She never showed herself to him.

How long did Heathcliff wait for Cathrine's ghost? It was years, he knew, decades. He went to the bookshelf and picked the Wuthering Heights, the same huge leather covered edition Alice had read, and began to go through the pages.

" _And what does not recall her? I cannot look down to this floor, but her features are shaped in the flags! In every cloud, in every tree - filling the air at night, and caught by glimpses in every object by day - I am surrounded with her image! The most ordinary faces of men and women - my own features - mock me with a resemblance. The entire world is a dreadful collection of memoranda that she did exist, and that I have lost her!"_

Tears dwell in his eyes as he read Heathcliff's lines. He felt the same agony in his essence, the inability to move on, the unbearable hardship to go on living when your heart had died. Cathrine's ghost had come for Heathcliff in the end, and he had yearned to die, to finally have a closure, to finally be able to be with her. But Alice's ghost did not show up, no matter how many a time had Charles sat here through the night and plead for her to show herself.

And what would he do, if Alice did come for him?

Charles knew, he could not die. He could not throw his life away, no matter how much he wanted to. Yes, he had desperately wanted to take his life, since the moment he had seen Alice lying on the floor in a pool of blood. Many a night had he sat in this room, with a knife in his hand, and a drowning need in his heart to end this torment. But he did not have that luxury. His life was not his, he did not live for his desires and needs. He only lived for other people, and they needed him to live.

No matter how damaged his soul was, people still depended on him, and he could not let them down.

"You promised you'd haunt me." he whispered to the emptiness of the library. "I am waiting. Show yourself to me, Alice. Please, just let me see you."

But nothing answered to his plea, nothing but the loud wailing of the wind - and a knock on the door.

\- Yes? Charles cleared his throat and wiped his eyes.

The door opened, and a slender, dark haired woman stepped inside.

\- I could not sleep, so I figured you could not either, she said.

Charles sighed, and let his gaze rest in her delicate features. She reminded him of Alice so much it hurt. Would he ever be able to look at her without this overwhelming pain?

\- You are right, Maria, he said, but it is not the storm that keeps me up.

\- I know. It is another kind of a storm is it not? The kind that will never let me rest.

Maria closed the door and entered the room. Her footsteps were catlike, almost soundless as she walked through the carpet and took a sit in the chair by the fire. They were silent for a while, just staring into the flames, until she looked up to him and noticed the book in his lap.

\- She loved that book, you know? a small smile played on her sad face. She read it to me when we were teenagers, and made me love it too.

Charles did not answer. It was too hard, no matter how much he tried. Too hard to hear her talking about Alice.

* * *

Raven had found Maria a few months ago, and dragged her back here, ready to kill her if needed. And by God had Charles wanted to kill her, more than he had wanted anything for a long, long time.

But he did not. Not even, if her words were full of venom, and threat. Not even if she revealed that she had planned to kill them all, to end the mutant race all together.

And when she had finally slept, restlessly, tied up in her bed, he had reached deep into her mind.

There had been horrible things there. A decade of hate and vengeance, of hurt and agony. It had taken Charles the whole night to dig through that layer of filth, until he found what he had been looking for.

Her soul, hidden, cradling, sleeping. It had been badly damaged, but he had slowly begun to fix it. He'd find her essence, the true Maria, what she had been before it all begun. And he had surfaced those memories and feelings, as he'd destroyed the tainted parts of her mind.

It had been a full night's work, and finally he had collapsed in his chair, losing his consciousness from exhaustion. But it had been worth it.

When she had waken up, her eyes had been full of pain and knowing, her voice a desperate cry of a woman who suddenly understands her deeds, and cannot bear the pain she's facing.

* * *

Now she was sitting in front of him in the chair, and even if Charles felt her mind, and knew she was not the woman who had killed Alice, it still was hard to look at her.

She looked so much like her, it hurt. The same dark, curly hair, the same slender figure. The delicate features, the swan like neck. They could have been twins, so strong was the resemblance. But still, Maria was not Alice, and could never be. Nothing could bring Alice back, and they both knew it.

\- I miss her too, you know, she said in a silent voice.

\- I know.

\- Of course you do, you are a telepath, she gave a sad laugh, But do you know that I miss her so much it feels like my heart is cut in half? At least your sorrow is clean, it's beautiful. Mine is tainted and ugly, as am I, for eternity, for her blood is in my hands, no matter what you say.

\- Maria, it was not you who killed her, he said in a strained voice.

\- Then who was it? For I can remember every detail of it, even if it now feels like I am watching someone else's nightmare. But still, I remember it all: how I pulled the trigger and… and she was no more. I remember it, for I did it - even if I was like a shadow of myself then.

He was silent for a while, listening the storm that was raging outside.

Alice's voice was in the wind, it was in the rain, in the crackling of the fire and the silence between the words. It was hard for him to speak, and he had a lump in his throat, a burning of tears in behind his eyes, as he finally answered.

\- Alice loved you, and she missed you every day of her life. And I made a promise to her, only a few days before she died, that if I ever found you, I'd try to save you. Now I have fulfilled that promise, but Maria, there is nothing more I can give you. I have nothing left to give.

\- You have already given me more than I deserve, she said, I planned to kill you, and you gave me my life. But Charles, this is a life of agony. How can I ever forgive myself that what is unforgivable?

\- Alice lived the last 11 years of her life, constantly haunted by the things she had done, the lives she had taken… The memories never left her in peace and she never forgave herself. I cannot give you any advice, but I do hope you find your peace even if she could not. The two of you have suffered enough - it should stop here.

\- Easier said than done, professor, Maria whispered and turned her gaze back to the fire.

She was silent for a good while, until she finally said;

\- I will be leaving tomorrow.

\- Where will you go?

\- I have not decided yet, someplace I can do something good. I want to help people, and I am a doctor - I should put my skills in good use. The world is full of people who are in need of a doctor and cannot afford one.

Charles gave a small, sad smile. There was symmetry in that plan, and he liked it.

\- You know, you could stay here, he still said, There are kids here who need help, kids like Alice. And you do have a vast knowledge about mutations.

\- I cannot stay here, Charles, you know that. Seeing me will only rip your heart open, and your wounds would never heal.

\- I am not sure they can heal, he stated, Regardless of your presence.

\- They will, Charles. You are not Heathcliff.

\- Apparently not, he said, for Alice's ghost will not come for me.

\- As it shouldn't, Maria said with a serious voice, She didn't find rest in her life, let us hope that she'll find it in the afterlife.

He knew she was right, of course. But still, there was nothing he wouldn't give to see Alice one last time. One smile, one touch of her hand, one sweet kiss. He would give his sanity to have them.

They sat in silence for a long time, both buried deep in their thoughts, listening the sounds of the storm and the ticking of a big wooden clock on the wall as it ate time steadily, like nothing could interrupt the endless flow of time. Time, that went on, life that went on, even in the moments that were darker than the darkest night.

\- It is my last night here, Charles, and I cannot sleep, said Maria finally, after an hour or more. Would you not read to me?

He had done so, many a time, when both of their minds were restless and needed to be taken away of the moment.

\- Of course, he said, and opened the book in his lap, from a random page.

" _And yet I cannot continue in this condition! I have to remind myself to breathe - almost to remind my heart to beat! And it is like bending back a stiff spring: it is by compulsion that I do the slightest act not prompted by one thought; and by compulsion that I notice anything alive or dead, which is not associated with one universal idea. I have a single wish, and my whole being and faculties are yearning to attain it. They have yearned towards it so long, and so unwaveringly, that I'm convinced it will be reached - and soon - because it has devoured my existence: I am swallowed up in the anticipation of its fulfilment. My confessions have not relieved me; but they may account for some otherwise unaccountable phases of humour which I show. O God! It is a long fight; I wish it were over!"_

Alice was in the room with them now, he could feel it. Her presence lingered on the outskirts of his consciousness, like a faint whisper in the wind, like shadow of a shadow, playing on the window.

He kept on reading, until the storm finally died outside.

* * *

 **This was the final chapter of the story, at least for now. I still have some ideas and glimpses, that I might write and add to this, but at least for now I will let the story rest.**

 **I hope you have enjoyed reading my stuff. This summer has been wonderful, writing and dreaming, and I am gladdened that I have had the privilege to share my thoughts with you. Thank you for your interest and support during the road.**

 **I hope that you'd take the time to write a review and share your thoughts of this story with me. I do hope to become a better writer, so all criticism is welcome.**


End file.
